*wakes up covered in cheeto crumbs, surrounded by college homework while BTS is playing in the background* oh fucc

---

Ben: Hey, Ellie, you good at suckin dick?

Ellie: Haha, why don't you ask Jeff?

Jeff: I don't know. I think I'm good at sucking dick.

---

Ben: Okay, I have this vid idea where we all end up in the shower naked

Jeff: You just want to see us naked, don't you?

Everyone: *stares*

Ben: pfft, haha, n-no *backs away*

---

Craig: We're having sausages for dinner!

Ao: Can you please keep your voices down??

Xavier: And for dessert.

Craig: *gasps* *pushes him* You're bad!!

Ao: Oh my god...

---

Jack: What day is it?

Ao: Mon--

Ben: TODAY

Jack: *@Ben* bitch, if you don't

---

Ao: Hey, would you kiss your brother for twenty grand?

Hunter: pfft, no

Ao: *drops money on his lap*

Hunter: ....

-next moment-

Hunter: *aggressively trying to kiss Reese*

Reese: DUDE NO

Hunter: C'MON ITS TWENTY GRAND

Reese: AAAAAAAHH

---

-When Reese Doesn't Get The Hint-

GPS: Keep gay for two miles

Reese: Um

GPS: In 200 feet, turn right queer

Reese: Do you mean 'right here'?

GPS: You've reached your destiGAYtion.

Reese: Really

---

Reese: When do you plan on moving out?

Hunter: When do you plan on coming out?

Reese: ...

Hunter: See what I did there--

Reese: Yeah, I got it, fuck you

---

Jeff: How's your day?

Ben: Oh good, I'm absolutely throbbing

Jeff: *glances down*

Ben: Dude I meant THRIVING!

Jeff: THEN WHY IS YOUR DICK HARD?!

Ben: BECAUSE I SAW YOURS

---

Ben: Hey, are you boiling water?

Ben: because you're making my noodle soft--wait, no, that's not

Reese: *walks away*

Ben: dammit

---

Ben, very quickly: myfutureboyfriendsayswhat

Reese: what?

Ben: I fucking knew it

---

-Ren in a haunted house-

Ben: are you scared?

Reese: no

Ben: it's okay i got you fam

Ben: *stomps*

Ben: *sneakers light up*

Ben: okay lets go

---

Ellie: She said you could be a model if you tried

Jeff: She said that about me?

Ellie: Yeah

Jeff: *hisses at Jane* Do you not think I'm fucking trying?????

---

Reese: *bends over to pick up a quarter*

Ben, from somewhere: Aw yeah, gimme that butt

Reese: wtf

Ben: I see you, mami

Reese: e__e

---

Jeff: What's your bench now, bruh?

Jack: I don't know, but I could probably break someone's neck

Jeff: I'm working on two-twenty--you can what?

Jack: trying to get the technique *strangles the air*

Jeff: ...

---

-Jeff Tries to Escape the Mansion-

Ao: Jeff, if you're going to sneak out, just be quiet

Jeff: *leans in close* The floorboards in this house are made out of two thousand year old whale scrotum...!

---

Hunter: *video taping Reese trying to make cereal*

Hunter: *sticks out his hand* I hope they make a Hallmark card for burn victims

Hunter: *pokes his hand on Reese's head* Because you're abOut tO GET ROASTED

---

Jack: Jeff, eat a snickers

Jeff: Why...?

Jack: Because you're not you when you're hungry *holds out a snickers*

Jeff: *glaring* It's gonna take more than that for my fat ass

---

Reese: *sneezes into his arm*

Ben: Oh my god, Reese is dabbing

Reese: No I'm not, it's just allergies

Hunter: Watch he gon do it again

Reese: *sneezes into his arm again*

Hunter: Hit it Reese, hit it

---

Ellie: Who is that?

Jeff: Killer Croc

Ellie: What does he do?

Jeff: He's unattractive and he bites people

Ellie: Heh you're not special buddy I can do that

---

Jeff: Who the fuck do you think you are?

Ben: FOR A LONG TIME I THOUGHT I WAS DEPRESSED（。々°）

Jeff: oh dude

Ben: TURNS OUT I JUST REALLY LIKE DOGS AND WHEN THEY LEAVE I GET SAAAD（。々°）

---

Ellie: would you rather fight a bunch of kindergarteners or--

Jeff: i wanna fight kindergarteners

Ellie: that's not the whole point of--

Jeff: thOSE KIDS ARE GETTING SLAPP'D

---

Ben: my favorite band is disturbance at the dancing place

Ellie: don't you mean panic at the disco?

Ben: DISTURBANCE AT THE DANCING PLACE

---

Ben: *@ Reese* Yo low key dude. Low key...

Ben: *looks around* You look cute today buT LOW KEY THOUGH DUDE LOW KEY DUDE AHAHHHA

---

Ben: yo dude you ever smoke lean?

Reese: smoke lean?

Ben: *scoffs* wooowww

Reese: *suddenly defensive* n-no yeah I have

Ben: I thought you were tight but

Reese: I haVE! *turns around* MOOOM!

---

Ben: what notes you passin in my class

Jeff: n-nothing

Ben: uhuh give me that *takes paper* *reads* 'Ellie do you like me--'

Ben: *throws paper* bitch you ugly no she don't

---

Ben: *chatting with Ao* Oh my god Reese is so cute

Ben: he's teaching me how to skateboard and was like "you gotta put your feet on the deck"

Ben: and I was like "I'll put my mouth on your dick" ahHahhAA

---

Ben: Hey, what's up--

Ladon: *aggressively growls and attacks him*

Ben: *screams* AAAAH GET YOUR FUCKING DOG-THING BITCH

Jack: it don't bite

Ben: YES IT DO!!!

---

Jeff: Is that guy sleeping or dead?

Ben: *sprawled across the floor*

Jack: Hopefully dead, I hated him

Jeff: Yeah me too

Ben: *sits up* Okay, first of all, fuck you guys

---

-Ellie's Too Angry-

Ellie: *at a party* hey, hey, hey, cut the music

Ellie: *announcing* Yo somebody left an ice cube on the floor and now my sock is wet

Ellie: *pulls out a gun* whO THE FUCK WANTS TO DIE

---

Reese: *working out and training like a god damn badass*

Ben: baptize me with your sweat

---

Jeff: *handing out a balloon to Death* I have no soul, have a nice day!~

Death: *grabs it and lets it go* I don't have one either

---

Ben: C'mon, man, let me in, I need to show you something

Jeff: fine *opens the door*

Ben: WHIP *whips and then runs out*

Jeff: god dammit-- *chases him*

---

Reese, slightly disheveled, entering the room: Sorry I'm late, I was doing things

Ben, following behind, grinning smugly: I'm things

---

-And Now For A Meme That's Already Dead But I Still Wanted To Show It Anyway-