What if I changed my name to limpweaselSUCC...?

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-Finally, some Ben & Reese-

Ben: I SWEAR, IF YOU DON'T QUIT YOUR SHIT, YOU GON CATCH THIS DICK

Reese: Don't you mean catch these hands--

Ben: NO.

Reese:

Ben:

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Jeff: I eat Cheerios because they're heart healthy!

Jeff: And my heart has become severely damaged...

Jeff: .......so Ellie if you're out there--

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Ao: For how much money would you have sex with Ben?

Reese: three grand

Ao: *throws money at him*

Ben: *gives thumbs up*

Reese: oh um

---

Jack: this-this is...th...this is how to flirt

Jack:

Jack:

Jack: hey bud

---

Ben: *blowing a wicked cool, difficult smoke trick*

Reese: *fucks it up*

Ben: *glares* God dammit, you're lucky you're fuckin hot

---

Ben: You been drinking again?!

Jeff: I don't even drink anymore don't come in here with all that

Ben: Then who's water is this?? *holds up water bottle*

Jeff: ....I neED WATER TO SURVIVE

Ben: YOU KNOW WE DON'T DRINK IN THIS HOUSE

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-If Ben Ever Gets Mugged-

Person: Hey stop, give me your money

Ben: I don't make money, I take some, and when it comes around the corner I snake some

Person: That makes no fucking sense

Ben: *peace sign*

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Jack: *teaching math* Ben has nineteen bottles of dish soap and he gives Ellie--

Reese: Wait, why does Ben have so many soaps???

Ben: *pouring soap all over himself* MIND YO DAMN BUSINESS, REESE

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-When Reese Is Too Hardcore-

Jeff: Hey bro, can you gimme some of that water?

Reese: It's not water

Jeff: Ah, vodka! I like your style.

Reese: It's vinegar

Jeff: What--?

Reese: *leans in really close* Its vinegar, pussy--

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Reese: Tell me what you like about me

Ben: That ass!~ *falls back*

Reese: What's your favorite feature?

Ben: That ass!~ *falls back*

Reese: What do you want to taste?

Ben: That--aw, no, you nasty *walks away*

---

Jack: *silent*

Ao: *silent*

Jeff: *silent*

Ellie: *silent*

Reese: *silent*

Ben: Guys, I have a boner

---

Jeff: Hey, what are you doing?

Death: Looking up how to stop on rollerblades *turns his head and reveals a scraped up cheek and bruised eye*

Jeff: oh

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-If Jack Worked At Walmart-

Manager: Hey, Jack, could you get the customers out for closing?

Jack: Sure.

Jack: *lifts phone* *monotone* Attention shoppers...there's a bomb.

---

Ben: *barges in* Do you know what a penis is???

Reese: Uh yeah. I'm already seventeen

Ben: ....Inches? *bites lip*

---

Jack: Honey, what are we having for dinner?

Ao: Stake, corn, and a side of--

Ben: Pussy

Ao: No! A side of--

Ben: *licks lips* puSSY

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Zalgo: Beautiful day, huh?

Ellie: It was until you said words at me. Stop.

Zalgo: I don't get it--

Ellie: Stop fuckin talking to me. Right now.

---

Ben: I think I may be gayer than I originally planned

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Ben: *barges into the room* Roses are red! Pickles are green!

Ben: *clings onto Reese* I love your legs and what's in between!~

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-The Aggressive Couple-

Ellie: Hey buddy, you wanna go?!?

Jeff: Yeah I wanna go, let's go!

Ellie: Alright, lets go out!!

Jeff: On a date?!

Ellie: Yeah cmon lets go on a date!!!

Jeff: Do you want kids?!?

---

Reese: *walks into his room with a bag of chips*

Hunter: Yo man, lemme get a chip?

Reese: Suck my ass *slams door*

Hunter: *standing outside* Perhaps 'suck my ass' can be our always!~

Reese: Hunter, shut the FUCK up.

---

Lyrics: I got my heart stolen from a robber, with some high heels on

Ben: *takes off ski mask* I'm a dude by the way

Person: what the fuck

---

Ben: *at a drive thru*

Reese: *yelling into the order box* Yeah, he'd like a large penis with mayo

Ben: Dude that's fucking gross

Ben: You know I hate mayo

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Also...