This little series dies just as much as FNAF.

Get it? Because it doesn't.

---

Ellie: *she's beauty*

Ellie: *she's grace*

Ellie: *she'll punch you in the face*

---

Ben: *with Ao at a karaoke bar* What the FUCK do you mean you don't have the Mulan soundtrack

---

Jeff: *to Ellie* Nothing is stronger than my love for you...!

Jeff: ...except my biceps.

---

-Jeff & Death's Fight in a Nutshell-

Jeff: *at Death* Foul being, I will vanquish you!

Death: What you packing?

Jeff: This is my legendary killing knife and--

Death: Oh okay, I see *pulls out a gun*

Jeff: holy shit, wait

---

Jeff: *texting Ellie* Babe

Jeff: Princess

Jeff: Angel

Jeff: Precious little nugget

Jeff: slumbering little bug

Jeff: if you don't answer, the pet names are gonna start getting meaner

Jeff: Bowl of cereal that's been sitting out for like an hour

---

Ben Gives Life Advice:

Ben: Hot things to say to your partner during sex!!

Ben: RYUU GA WAGA TEKI WO KURAU

Ben: cheers love, the calvary's 'ere

Ben: nerf THIS

Ben: sorry, sorry, sorry, sorRY!!

Ben: it's hiiiiiiiigh noon

Ben: DIE DIE DIE

Ben: gaze into the iris

Ben: JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE

Jeff: You forgot "FIRE IN THE HOLE"

---

Jeff: Would you suck a dick for a million dollars??

Ben: A million... Shit, man, I'd do it for free

Jeff: ....

Ben: ....

Jeff: Let's go.

---

KP Series Characters in a Nutshell:

Jeff: Smiling but dying inside

Ellie: Smol (pirate) child with issues

Ao: Weeaboo

Jack: Hungry ass shark with weird skin

Ben: tiny hipster pervert

Zalgo: bitch ass satan

Slender: no faced hentai tentacle monster

Caedis: mute kaneki rip-off

---

Ben: Dude that outfit is so fresh..!

Jeff: Heh, yeah, I'm just trying to do me.

Ben: I'm trying to do you, too.

Jeff: ō__ō

Ben: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

---

Jack: *appears*

Ao: *sees him* Oh... I need that

Ao: *runs* dibs dibs dibs diBS DIBS DIBS DIBSDIBSDBSBS

---

Ben: *totally fab* You have no idea how many clothes I bought

Ben: I bought like five shoes

Ben: Not five pairs, just five shoes

---

Jeff: Ah geez, that's huge.

Ao: You know what else is huge?
(￣▽￣)

Jeff: Ao--.

Ao: Global warming. It's a very serious issue. Our earth is dying.

---

-Zalgo Insensitive AsF-

Zalgo: *whispers* Hey, can you pass the popcorn?

Ellie: This is a funeral.

Zalgo: Oh *looks around* *gets up from seat* THIS MOVIE SUCKS ASS

---

Ben: Alright, just relax. When she gets over here, just tell her how you feel.

Jack: Alright..

Ao: What's up Ben? Hey Jack--!

Jack: *sweats* yoU GOT A FAT ASS

---

Ellie: *on the phone with Jeff* Hello?

Jeff: Hey, what's up?

Ellie: I need your help, can you come over here? *looks over at burning stove*

Jeff: I can't, I'm buying clothes.

Ellie: Alright, well hurry up and get over here.

Jeff: I can't find them

Ellie: What do you mean you can't find them?

Jeff: I can't find them, there's only soup.

Ellie: What do you mean there's only soup?

Jeff: It means there's only soup..!

Ellie: Well then get out of the soup aisle!

Jeff: Alright, you don't have to shout at me! *goes to the next aisle*

Jeff: There's more soup!

Ellie: *pinches her nose* What do you mean there's more soup?!

Jeff: There's just more soup!!

Ellie: *puts on random helmet* Go into the next aisle!!

Jeff: *goes to next aisle* there's still soup!!

Ellie: *starting to spaz out* Where are you right now?!?!!

Jeff: I'm at soup!!!

Ellie: what do yOU MEAN YOU'RE AT SOUP?!?!! *wildly trying to put the spreading fire out*

Jeff: I mean I'm aT SOUP!!!

Ellie: *spazzing harder* whaT STORE ARE YOU IN???? *suckerpunches the stove*

Jeff: I'm at the sOUP STORE!!!!!

Ellie: *thrashing violently as everything is burning* wHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!!?!?!???!?!

Jeff: FUCK YOUUUU!!!

---

-Ben & Jack Babysitting Smol Ao-

Ben: *chilling with sunglasses* Dude, we're so good at babysitting.

Jeff: I know, our kid hasn't said anything for an hour..!

Jack: *pops out of the pool with passed out smol Ao* Hey, is this your kid in the pool?!

Jeff: Nah, our kid can't swim!~

---

-If Zalgo And Ben Fought-

Zalgo: Come and join my army, and you can reign supreme as I will!! If you choose otherwise, I will destroy you! So join me!!

Ben: Never..

Zalgo: Never???

Ben: Gonna..

Zalgo: What?

Ben: giVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN

Zalgo: fUUUCU

---

Ellie: What have you done with my father?!

Zalgo: I am your father!

Ellie: What?!?!

Zalgo: ..I mean...you're PREGNANT, and I am the father!

Ellie: wHAT?

Zalgo: Uh, I mean...yOU'Re the father and I am the bABY.!!

Ellie: !!!!!!

---

Jeff: Dude I just caught a ghost on tape..!

Ellie: No way, are you serious?!

Jeff: Obviously man, look *picks up roll of tape with Ben attached to it*

---

-Jeff's Signs of Early Psychopathy-

Mother: Can you explain to me why I found a lighter in your room?? *lights lighter*

Jeff: Oh, I set a nursing home on fire.

Mother: *turns off lighter* Oh thank god, I thought you were smoking weed.

---

Ben: How do you discipline a pet rock??

Ben: .....you hit rock bottom *snickers*

---

Jeff: Omg, do you know how short you are, Ben?

Ben: Omg, do you know how close you are to having a broken nose, Jeff??

---

Jeff: *says a really cheesy pick-up line*

Ellie: Pfft, frickin' loser. There's no way I would fall for him.

Ellie:

Ellie:

Ellie:

Ellie:

Ellie:

Ellie: *falls for him* Fuck.