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KP/ C&B Jokes #14

Once again, I have returned with more jokes!~

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Ben: Hey! Y'all ever feel like we need to take a back burner to things?

Jack: What do you mean?

Ben: like, I know I live my own life; I go home and watch TV. I send pictures of my sexy muscles to Jeff because they are his favorite. And Jeff sends me back pictures of his--.

Jeff: SkiP IT!

Ben: But like, everything in that area feels fuzzy. This right now; this is clear.

Ellie: Everything is fuzzy to me.

Ben: I'm just sayin', it feels like at any moment, things can get fuzzy again. Our lives move on but we aren't the focus of them.

Ao: Ben, are you high?

Ben: ooOH BECAUSE IF I HAVE ANY PHILOSOPHICAL THOUGHT AT ALL IT MUST MEAN THAT I'M HIGH, RIGHT?? "YEEEAAH DON'T MIND BEN, HE'S JUST SOME CRACKHEAD WHO CAN'T HAVE ANY DEEP OR MEANINGFUL CONTRIBUTION TO OUR CONVERSATIONS, 'CAUSE HE'S ON DRUGS ALL THE TIME. HAHA, BETTER ASK THE GIRL WHO NEVER KNOWS WHERE SHE IS OR WHAT SHE THINKS OF A SITUATION, BECAUSE I'M SURE IT'S SOMETHING THAT WE'LL REMEMBER FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES."

Jack: So...you are high?

Ben: Well, I mean....yeah.

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The Boys' Friendship in a Nutshell:

Jack: *coughs*

Ben: *sarcastically imitates him for the next 3 days and 12 hours*

Jeff:

Jack: Wow, can you like shut up?

Ben: *lays on the floor*

Jeff: Why is there trash on the floor?

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(From @MsNarwhal23)

Ben: Last week I got mugged by a god damn ballerina. She tried to make me pass away then the bitch spun away.

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(From @-The_Blue_Android-)

Jack: Bread knife. *raises bread knife*

Ben: Cheese knife. *raises cheese knife*

Jeff: Best friend knife. *stabs Ben's back*

Ben: *passes out*

Jack: *shocked* ...I thought I was your best friend?!

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Reader: *takes deep breath* I will not let this fictional character ruin me.

Me: Failed step one.

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I feel like Jeff can be this weird clean freak guy and end up like this:

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Jeff: Babe please talk to me..

Jeff: I said I was sorry!

Jeff: I never meant to hurt you!

Jeff: I thought about you the whole time!

Ellie: Sorry doesn't bring back my fucking Skittles, Jeff.

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Jack: *appears*

Ao: hoLY--

Ao: *strangled screaming*

Ao: *pounds fists on table*

Ao: do yOU SEE THAT CHILD

Ao: THAT IS MY MAN

Ao: *more screaming*

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Ben: Your tie isn't straight.

Jeff: Yeah, well neither are you so

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-Ben Texting Ao-

Ben: You hungry?

Ben: Actually don't even answer that yo fatass always hungry, be ready in 30

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-Jeff & Ellie Texting-

Jeff: There's a snake in my tent.

Ellie: Oh really? ;)

Jeff: any other time I'd play along but right now there is a literal snake in my tent

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Ellie: *is tiny*

Ellie: (ง •̀_•́)ง

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Jack: Haven't lost my virginity because I never lose

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Ao: Ellie try on this mood ring, it's legit!

Ellie: ...

Ao: ... Why is it on fire?

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Ben: Hey Jack...wanna go to the dance with me..?

Jack: I've said no to you five times already, get a clue.

Ben: *has actual Clue game board* Hey Jack..

Jack: goD DAMMIT

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Ben: *gets down on one knee and pulls out ring* Will you be my bro, forever and always?

Jeff: *choked up voice* of course, bro~

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Ben: I'm staying out of drama

Ben: guess fucking what

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-If there was an angsty proxy-

Zalgo: Hey so I bought your soul last month and--

Angsty proxy: No returns.

Zalgo: Please, it's making me sad.

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Ben would most certainly do this:

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Ben: *minding his own business*

Will.i.Am: Hit it Fergie!

Ben: ALL THE TIME I TURN AROUND BROTHER'S GATHER 'ROUND ALWAYS LOOKING AT ME UP AND DOWN LOOKING AT MY (UH) I JUST WANNA SAY IT NOW I AINT TRYING TO ROUND UP DRAMA LITTLE MAMA I DONT WANT TO TAKE YOUR MAN AND I KNOW IM COMING OFF JUST A LITTLE BIT CONCEITED AND I KEEP ON REPEATING HOW THE BOYS WANNA EAT IT BUT IM TRYING TO TELL THAT I CANT BE TREATED LIKE CLIENTELE CUZ THEY SAY SHES DELICIOUS

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Ben: beING SUPER SUPER IN LOVE WITH YOUR FRIENDS BUT IN A FRIEND WAY but also a little bit in a gay way but also in a friEND WAY

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