This shit's back again, yo.

---

Jeff: My girlfriend is on a mission so while she's away, I'm gonna cut the sleeves off of all of my shirts.

Ao: why??

Jeff: She's pretty much 85% of my impulse control.

---

DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip off the door from its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.

Jack: Okay...!

---

Death: Hey, do you have any--?

Jeff: Buzz Lightyear pajamas?? *picks up pajamas* Yes I do.

Death: No, any self-respect?

Jeff: Oh! *laughs as he puts pajamas down* ...No.

---

-Jack Tries to Flirt-

Jack: Ao?

Ao: Yes?

Jack: You, uh...you have a very...you...you've got a pretty...you...

Ao: Jack, are you oka--?

Jack: niCe gENEtiC COMPOSITION

---

Jeff: Good credit, bad credit, no credit, no problem!! You dead?! fuCk iT, GHOST CREDIT.

Ben: Im gonna get a Subaru :D

---

Jack: What did you do??

Ben: Su.. *mumbles*

Jack: What?!?

Ben: Suck dick on accident.

Jack: How the fuck do you suck dick on accident??

---

Jeff: C'mon. *pulling on Ben*

Ben: *holding onto the edge of the curb* No! I'm not going!

Jeff: C'mon kid. *still pulling*

Ben: You belong in there!!!! *won't let go*

Jeff: C'mon, into the trash with you, kid...!

---

Ao: There's only one thing worse than a rapist. *takes off paper to reveal the word child above rapist*

Ben: A child.

Ao: No.

---

Maury: The results are in. Zalgo....

Zalgo: Yeah?

Maury: ...You are the father!

Ellie: The fuCK YOU AIN'T *gets up and smacks him across the face, overturns his chair*

Jeff: *quietly and nervously walks off the stage*

Ben: *watches in the roaring crowd and eats popcorn*

---

Jeff: Ben, why'd you turn off the lights??

Ben: To save power, duh! And I wanna suck your dick.

Jeff: ...

Ben: *plays Pony*

---

Jeff: *aggressively screams* sHIT!!!!

Ellie: ...

Jeff: ....goD YOU'RE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL

---

Readers: You gotta look inside yourself and say, what am I willing to put up with today???

*Killer Protector* *Cruel & Blue*

Readers: noT FUCKING THIS!!!!!!

---

[Possible Spoiler]

KP readers: Ellie is dead! LoOK AT HER! *points at Ellie*

C&B readers: N-No, she's not dead--

KP readers: shE'S DEAAAAD!!

C&B readers: No.

---

*shit happens to Jeff*

Jeff: *Brandon Rogers voice* fuK mE RiGHT IN ThA ASSHOLE

---

Xavier: Craig? Craig? Guess what?

Craig: ...

Xavier: I'm going out with my ex tonight.

Craig: You what??? *glides into the room on hover board*

---

Ellie: *looking for Halloween costume*

Jeff: We're Halloween shopping, but I mean...her face is already scary...

Ellie: *turns towards him and raises her hand bouta smack him*

---

Jeff & Ellie As Parents:

Jeff: Hey, you love your son right?

Ellie: Of course.

Jeff: Okay *walks away* well go change him then, he just pooped.

Ellie: What?! no!

---

Jeff: Relationship advice, don't let your girl run the relationship. You put those pants on just like I do.

Ellie: Uh, you wear booty shorts.

Jeff: nO I DONT

---

Jack: *teaching grammar* When you sing, you say 'I sing'. What do you say when Ben sings?

Jeff: 'Shut the fuck up Ben, you're a terrible singer.'

---

Caedis: *alone, minding his own business*

Ao: Hey, do you think that guy can talk?

Jeff: Never heard him.

Ao: Do you think he understands us?

Jeff: Let's try it. *cups his hands over his mouth* Hey!

Caedis: *turns*

Jeff: Jerk off, you albino ass lookin' motherfucker!!!

Caedis: ..... *raises his middle finger*

Jeff: *lowers hands* Yeah he understand us.

---

Ao: Jack! There is a dead human in our house!

Jack: Oh...hey...How did he get here?

Ao: Jaaaack, what did you do?!

Jack: Me? Uh, I didn't do this!

Ao: Explain what happened, Jack!

Jack: I've never seen him before in my life!

Ao: Why did you kill this person, Jack?

Jack: I do not kill people. That is...that is my least favorite thing to do.

Ao: Tell me, Jack, exactly what you were doing before I came home.

Jack: Alright, well...I was upstairs...

Ao: Okay...

Jack: I was uh...I was sitting in my room...

Ao: Yes?

Jack: reading a book...

Ao: Go on...

Jack: And, uh, well this guy walked in...

Ao: Okay...

Jack: So, I went up to him...

Ao: Yes...

Jack: And I...I stabbed him 37 times in the chest.

*Silence.*

Ao: Jaaaaaaaaaaaaack, that KILLS people!

Jack: Oh! Well, I didn't know that!!

Ao: How could you not know that?!

Jack: Yeah, I'm in the wrong here. I suck

*silence*

Ao: What happened to his hands?

Jack: What's that?

Ao: His hands. Why—why are they missing?

Jack: Well, I kind of umm...cooked them up. And ate them.

*silence*

Ao: Jaaaaaaaaaack!

Jack: Well, I—I was hungry. And well, you know, when you crave hands...

Ao: Why on earth would you do that?!

Jack: I was hungry for hands! Gimme a break!

Ao: Jaaaaaack!

Jack: My stomach was making the rumblies.

Ao: Jack!

Jack: That only hands would satisfy!

Ao: What is wrong with you, Jack?!

Jack: Well, I kill people and I eat hands! That's—that's two things.

---

Ao: Isn't this great? It's just like when we were younger! Remember that time...

Jack: *his thoughts* Hanging out with Ao sure is fun.

Jack: You know what else is fun? Eating your best friend.

Jack: That doesn't sound fun at all, Jack!

Jack: Well, how would you know?!

Jack: Jack! Ao stopped talking! She wants you to respond! Say something stupid?

Jack: *outloud* I wasn't thinking about eating you.

Ao: Awe, thank you!~

Jack: *his thoughts* Nailed it.

---

Ao would be the blue.
Ben is gray.