You never realize how much you need someone until they're gone.

Walking into school next day, I only had one word to describe how I felt. Empty.

Since we were in second grade, Cam had always been there to walk through the front doors with me. He hadn't showed up as usual every morning over the last week, and I rarely saw him at school.

The only time I saw him was at lunch, watching him sitting with my own friends while I sat with his old group, Ray being the only one that actually cared enough to acknowledge me.

I was in the bathroom washing my face a few minutes before the bell when I heard the door open behind me and caught Shay's eye as she walked passed me and toward the stalls.

"Hey." She mumbled, waving shyly as she slowed to a stop. I grabbed my purse from the counter beside me and started toward the door. Before I could grab the handle, Shay caught my wrist and stepped in front of me.

"What's going on with you, Blake?" She whispered, her eyes roaming my face for something I'm sure she wouldn't find.

"Nothing. I've gotta go, Shay." I tried to move again, but my best friend's grip tightened around my wrist, her blood red lips pursed.

"I gave you two weeks to figure out what the hell you were doing with yourself. I let you have your space for long enough. Tell me what the hell is going on." She blew a strand of her white blonde hair out of her face as she spoke, her green eyes concerned.

"Where do I even start?" I muttered, hoping she didn't hear me. When she didn't say anything, I tore my arm from her grip and opened the door, nearly running in to a girl rushing by me with a pad in her hand.

"Cam told me." She called out behind me. I jolted to a stop outside the bathroom, my entire body feeling as if a bolt of lightning had just shot through me.

"What?" I could feel my heart pounding against my chest.

"About Jacob. I'm sorry, Blake. I know how much you liked him." She offered me a sad smile, "Just know that I'm here if you want to talk about it."

*

I walked around the park by my house for a while, trying to process everything that was going on. I was surprised to find Cam on the swing set when I came back around the second time, his head bowed as he texted someone.

"Hey, stranger." I whispered, taking the empty swing beside him. His head whipped up quickly, the smile falling from his face at the sight of me.

"Oh, sorry. I'll leave." He grabbed his backpack from the ground and started to walk away, throwing it over his shoulder.

"Cam, come on." I followed him, jogging to catch up.

"I don't want to inconvenience you, Hart." I recoiled, stopping dead in my tracks at his words. I brought my hand up to my mouth and swiped my hand across my lips to prevent them from trembling.

"It would have been easier," He said quietly, "if you just punched me as hard as you possibly could. It would have hurt a lot less." I grabbed his arm, surprised when I felt something smear across it.

I blinked in surprise when I saw a heart drawn with a marker on his forearm. It was the same heart I used to drawn on him when we were kids, with our first initial on either side of the heart. Now, do to my smearing, it looked as if half of the heart had been swiped into a mess. How convenient.

"I'm sorry, Cameron. I-"

"Don't call me Cameron." He whispered. He looked exhausted, as if he were done trying to fight me.

"Cam, you know I love you. You-"

"Jacob will be home in a couple days if you want to talk to him." Cam cut me off, rubbing his face, "I'll see you around, Hart." I felt as if every piece of me was dragged away the further Cam got, until he was nothing but a speck in the distance, and my heart was nothing but an empty whole in my chest.

*

It took me over an hour to make the decision to call Shay over. I knew she'd try to talk me out of my whole bet with Cam, but that didn't seem to matter to me anymore. I just wanted to have my best friend again. I wanted to have him making sudden appearances on my balcony or in the middle of my bedroom, I wanted him to hold me while I cried or tried to fall asleep.

"You don't know how relieved I am that you called." Shay said, shutting my bedroom door behind her with a smile, "I was getting worried you weren't going to reach out to me-oh sweetie." She dropped her purse on to the chair beside the door before walking over to join me on my bed.

I clenched my pillow tighter against my chest as I stared at the blurred image of my friend.

"What do you want to talk about first, Blake? I'm here to listen to it all." She rubbed my shoulder, smiling sadly.

That was all it took for me to pour my heart out to her, every detail. Everything from Jacob and that night to Cam kissing me, and finally to my parents getting back together and the new baby.

She waited until I was a complete mess, snot and all, to hand me a box of tissues and start with her response.

"Okay, first off, I want to know why you were going to allow Jacob to have sex with you if you were that coherent. My Blake wouldn't allow that." I shrugged, wiping at my wet cheeks and nose.

"I was in love with him, Shay. Honestly, I probably would have done anything." She slapped the side of my head, earning a shocked look out of me.

"That's your problem, Blake. You've got to stop doing what everyone wants you to do. You're Blake Hart, Miss Independent. The girl with great grades and a wonderful attitude. Not Blake Hart, the girl everyone can just walk all over. If Jake really returned your feelings, then why didn't he act on them sooner. Why did he wait until you wet through this. . . rebellious stage?" I shrugged, snuggling against my pillow.

"Sweetheart, I personally don't care about my virginity, it's just a thing. But I know you hold it close to you, that you want to lose it to someone you love. And maybe in your mind, the thirteen year old mind that still lingers somewhere in there, thought that you might have liked Jacob. So you thought you'd let him take advantage of you." I looked away, ready to tell her to stop talking.

But I couldn't do that, because she was right, and I had to let her continue.

"Blake, sweetie, you know somewhere deep down that he was doing it for his own gain. I'm not saying he's a bad guy, I'm just saying that he was doing what most teenage guys wanted to do the second you started making a statement about how you look." I wiped at my cheeks again, doing my best to smile at her.

"As for your parents, Blake, I know it's hard. God, I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to find out your parents have secretly been having sex and conceiving a baby. One that'll have a father." She pushed a stand of my hair out of my puffy eyes and tucked it behind my ear, "But you're going to need to be the bigger person and suck it up for right now. Maybe your father has a reason for not being here, maybe he doesn't. You're going to be a great big sister, forget about your parents for a while and think about the awesome little brother or sister you're going to have running around here soon." This time a smile started to spread across my face.

"Of course, now we have to go to the biggest issue of all; Cameron." She sighed, leaning back against my headboard as she smiled bitterly.

"You know I strongly dislike Cameron, Blake. At least I did, he's a little more tolerable now." She ran a hand through her hair, "But he makes you happy, he makes you smile like no one else can. Don't think that I haven't seen how miserable both of you have been, I knew something was up. Something pretty major. I've never seen you guys go more than twenty four hours without talking." I sighed, keeping my eyes on the threads on my pillow.

"I want you to answer me with completely honest answers, I promise they won't ever leave my mouth." I nodded.

"You have a few seconds to answer each question, don't think, just say." I waited until she clapped to sit up a little straighter.

"Favorite thing about Cam?" She started.

"His eyes."

"Have you ever thought about kissing him?"

"Once. In eighth grade."

"How disgusted were you when he kissed you?"

"I wasn't disgusted, just shocked." The last words that left my mouth seemed to shock me more than Shay. She leaned back against the headboard again, waiting for what I said to sink in.

"You don't think-" I trailed off, my lips parting.

"I don't know, Blake. If you're questioning it, then it's definitely possible you have feelings for Mr. Arrogant." I looked toward my window, my heart starting to sink into my chest again when I saw Cam sitting on the edge of Jacob's bed with his head in his hands.

"Go talk to him." She urged, giving me a gentle shove. I shook my head, my eyes wide.

"Blake, go." I forced myself off of my bed and toward the balcony, my eyes on the small bridge the boys had built from my balcony to the tree branch. I let out a shaky breath before climbing up on to it, forcing myself not to look down, knowing that I'd lose it and fall if I did.

"Oh God!" I screamed, my foot slipping. I gasped, gripping on to the edge of the wooden bridge, my eyes finally falling on to the ground, two stories below me.

"Blake? What the hell are you doing?" Cam said, peeking out of Jacob's balcony.

"You idiot." He mumbled, moving across the bridge as slowly as possible, making sure to keep it from shaking too bad. My heart was ready to pound out of my chest, my hand slipping every time I let out a shaky breath.

"Take my hand, Blake. You're fine." Cam held his hand out, gripping the tree branch above him for support. I stared at him, at the kind, guarded look in his beautiful eyes.

"I promise, Blake. You'll be fine, just let me help you." I let out one last shaky breath before dropping one of my hands from the bridge and grasping on to Cam's wrist with it. He took my other hand as well before yanking me up, his arms wrapping tightly around me as I let out a cry in relief.

"I would have died." I whimpered.

"Stop exaggerating, loser." He rolled his eyes, a small smile playing on his lips, "At the very most, you would have broken a few bones." I laughed nervously, catching Shay watching us from my balcony, her hands still gripping the railing as the color returned to her face.

"Cam-" I began. He shook his head, moving so we were moving toward his balcony.

"I know, Blake." He sighed, helping me into Jacob's room, "We need to talk." 

***AN***

Hope you guys enjoyed! 

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~ChasingMadness24