"Blake, sweetheart. We need to talk."

The second I walked into the living room, on my way to grab a package of poptarts and a water bottle for Cam and I, my mom perked up.

She was sitting beside my father, her fingers laced through his and resting on her lap.

"Cam's upstairs." I whispered, coming up with the first excuse that came to mind.

I honestly wasn't in any sort of mood to hear all the bullshit my Mom was going to try and feed me about my father, all the lies and excuses she'd give for him not being here for the last seventeen years.

My mind was still reeling over what happened last night with Jacob, and Cam's bitterness had only added to everything.

"He can wait, Blake. Sit down." She gestured toward the recliner, a sad smile playing on her lips. I gave her a hesitant look before throwing myself on to the chair, sighing.

"So, I saw that Jacob run out of the house last night." She said with a worried look, "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"No."

"Blake, you nee-"

"I'm not having the safe sex talk with you again, Mom. Especially not with him in the room." I glanced back toward the stairs, making sure Cam hadn't ventured out of my room to come find me.

"Sweetie, you've been sneaking around a lot more, teacher's have said you've been absent in a few classes, and now I'm seeing you wearing all of these. . . different outfits." I shook my head, starting to get up.

"I'm not talking about this with him in the room, Mom. I'm fine, my grades are fine. That's all that matters, right?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Blake, stop acting-"

"Cam's waiting for me." I repeated, starting to move toward the kitchen for what I had come to get in the first place.

"Blake, I'm pregnant." I paused in the middle of the pantry, my mouth hanging open as I stared blankly at the wall in front of me.

"Sweetheart, say something." My mom whispered, but I could barely even let out my shaky breaths.

"I know it's a new adjustment." My father spoke up before my mom could go on, "But you'll be a great older sister, a-"

"How would you know?" I whirled around, my eyes stinging with tears as I glared accusingly at him.

"You don't know me, James! Don't sit here and act like you've been here the last seventeen years of my life." I blinked quickly, not allowing myself to cry in front of them.

"You left me, your daughter. But now you'll have a second chance, right? Because I wasn't good enough for you." I ripped the entire poptarts box from the pantry and waters before jogging up the stairs and away from my parents before either of them could stop me.

*

"It's not you, Blake." Cam assured me, his mouth still full. I looked away, picking at the tip of my chocolate chip poptart, my eyes pooling with tears.

"It's your job to say that, Cam. But it is me. Why else would no guy approach me at school before now? Why would my dad leave a six month old unless I did something wrong?" Cam slapped my poptart out of my hand before taking both of my wrists in his hands and staring at me with a serious look.

"Blake, nobody at school wanted to make a move on you because of me, not you. And it was your father's mistake not staying to raise the wonderful woman you've become. Don't ever blame yourself." He smiled weakly, almost as if he were trying to convince himself of what he was saying.

"Thank you." I whispered, squeezing his hand. He smiled, lifting his head up so that he was staring into my eyes, his own glistening with millions of emotions that I couldn't come close to pinpointing.

"Maybe-" I started, but was cut off by Cam's lips against mine before I could continue. My eyes shot wide open as I threw myself off my bed, shaking my head at my best friend.

A hurt look crossed over his face for a second before his face was wiped emotionless.

"Oh My God, Cameron! What the hell was that?" I reached up and wiped at my mouth as he climbed off my bed and grabbed his things from the floor.

"Cam? Answer me!" I grabbed his arm, my mouth still hanging open.

"It was a mistake, that's what it was." He snapped, ripping his arm from my grip.

"Cam, why-"

"Why?" He whirled around on me, his face growing a deep shade of red. "I don't know, Blake. Why do guys usually kiss girls?" I recoiled, my back against my bedframe.

"I. . ." I trailed off, my mind still too busy wrapping itself around what happened for me to process a coherent thought.

"You what? You're repulsed by the thought of kissing me? Or is it because you wish I would have let my brother rape you last night?" He shook his head, laughing coldly, "I should have known. I'm such a fucking idiot." I only stared at him, my entire body locked in place.

"Cam." I whispered.

"I should have just kept my feelings to myself, it's always better that way, you know? When I do that, I don't feel like such a fuck up. I feel that my mom cares about me too, that my dad, wherever the hell he is, still cares about the eight year old he left behind. Every time I let my feelings show they always get crushed. Do you know how that feels?" I squeezed his hand harder.

"Cameron."

"Do you know how it feels, Blake? To be in love with your best friend? To wish that you go walk up to them and pour your heart out without them thinking it's some sort of joke? Without them laughing in your face? Without them being repulsed by the thought of kissing you?" He touched my cheek, and I swear I saw his eyes start to glisten with tears, but it could have been a trick of light.

"Cam."

"What, Blake?" He was already heading for my bedroom door, his head bowed.

"I. . . I'm sorry." He shrugged, but even that seemed half hearted.

"I'll see you around, Blake." he kissed my forehead and ducked out of my room, jogging down the steps and out of the house before Mom could see and force him to stay for breakfast.

*

"Thanks for picking me up." I whispered, pushing my purse between my feet and listening to the engine of the Camero I was in purr to life.

"Not a problem, Blake. I know you said you didn't want to talk about it, but I'm all ears if you feel the need to vent." I tried to smile, but a grimace took it's place.

Ray pulled away from my house, his eyes staying on Cam's house for a second before he tore them away and looked at the dark road that stretched ahead of us.

"Anywhere you want to go?" He questioned.

"No. I. . .I just needed to get away, clear my mind, you know what I mean?" He nodded, grasping the steering wheel tighter.

"Definitely." He sent me a quick smile before giving me some silent time to clear my head.

I didn't even know where to start, my mind was pounding with millions of thoughts. Of course, the first thing my head went to was last night.

I hadn't thought I was drunk, not in the least. But the Blake Hart that I knew best would have never had sex with a guy on the first date, even if it was the guy I'd had a crush on for the last ten years. Cam had stopped Jacob, but had it been for him or me?

I. . . If Cam was in love with me, then what was going to happen to our friendship? I loved Cam more than I loved the world aroud me, he was my world. He had been there for me through everything, I had returned the favor. And last night. . . he stopped me from making a mistake, but had it been for himself?

If he was in love with me, the he wouldn't want Jacob anywhere near me, let alone about to have sex with me.

And finally, my thoughts drifted to my parents. The man that had left me fatherless for seventeen years was back, and he was ready to sit and raise another child with my mother. I was going to have a little brother or sister, and I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I would envy him or her. I would be jealous that they got to have the father I never had.

"You okay, Blake?" Ray reached out and rubbed my arm, trying his best at a reassuring smile.

"I think my life is really messy right now." I responded, laying my head against the cold, dewy window, "But I think I'll be all right. I'll have to be." 

***AN**

Hope you guys enjoyed! 

Let me know what you thought! 

~ChasingMadness24