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64. "one toxic relationship"

3rd person narrator

    It's April. Around three months, give or take after the supposed ending of Grayson and Brea's "bet".

Chandler and Angie had sent out their final wedding invitations.
As Brea gets one in the mail, she places it atop her suitcase and zips it as it's the last one.

She continues to clean the room and erase any evidence of her having lived there as she plans on leaving soon.

Left on her laptop, one purchased ticket to Greece. And not a round trip...

Because she had given up photography and hadn't yet landed another job, Brea decided she'd do something she never got the chance to do. Growing up, she always wanted to travel, that was her main thing. Even though she was a photographer who could've traveled the world snapping serene shots, she stayed local and put her dreams on hold. Now, though, nothing - and no one - was holding her back.

Her bedroom: completely empty. You wouldn't even know someone was staying there if it weren't for the suitcases on the bed and spare clothes left hanging in the closet.

She showers like she did everyday. Each time, overcome with a different feeling. This time, though, her eyelashes batted slower and she lingered on the feeling of the lathered loofa against her skin, appearing to be in deep thought and wallowing in self-pity.

...

Regret is a feeling Grayson and Breanna both embody as they realize time is not on their side.

As hard as Grayson's working on himself to win her back, she's working even harder to get to the bottom of what's been holding her back from love all her life and to finally get in touch with herself so she can discover what it is, or who, her heart truly wants.

...

Grayson, with the help of his naive ex girlfriend - Leila, moves into the house he built after getting all the amenities and paperwork in order with ease.
While Leila wasn't moving in for obvious reasons, Grayson had another roommate: Alfie. Alfie had been given back to Grayson after Brea left Oregon for the last time. She figured Grayson would be more responsible as she "wasn't in the right headspace" and Kaign didn't want pets in his plush home.

...

As per normal for construction workers, Grayson had been laid off. Instead of sitting around and wasting away, Grayson used his time to bond with his niece, visit his mother's grave more frequently, quit smoking weed and tobacco (temporarily, anyway), help Colson with his soccer during the off-season, and talk more with the psychologist his dad recommended whenever he felt as if he was "malfunctioning on autopilot" again.
What he did not do, was pick up random women and sleep with them knowing it would lead to one catching feelings he didn't reciprocate, thus leading to another one-sided relationship destined for doom.
Lessons learned, but he didn't think he was worthy of redemption just yet, if ever. He had nothing to show for his changed behavior as the only person who mattered and would care, is Brea who he had no idea how she even felt about him at that point.

...

Brea boards the plane, with her two guy friends who're accompanying her to assure her health and well-being.
She takes the window seat where she sighs heavily, easing her forehead onto the cold glass as she stares blankly at the clouds once they ascend.

Flashbacks creep up on Breanna and refuse to leave her mind for the next 8 hours and 46 minutes. And all of them, every single memory she can conjure up, depicts nothing less than Grayson declaring his love for her, only to get shut down with a poor excuse from Brea:

"I'm not ready"
"You sleep around too much"
"But Kaign likes me, too"
"I'm confused"
"We fight too much"

In the midst of this, Brea has a sudden epiphany that comes to her as — what she thought was — an anxiety attack. That claim isn't too far off, though, as she was quite literally overwhelmed with the realization that it was her in the wrong, all along.

To her, had she just let her guard down, her and Grayson could've been together and none of this would've happened.

Both startled by her sudden crying, Dylan and Kaign quickly console their friend and try to get some answers to which she can only repeat:

"It's me. What's wrong with me?"

Breanna cries herself to sleep with Kaign rubbing her back as she rests her head in his lap just like she used to in the past.

Dylan, who doesn't look to comfortable with Brea on his boyfriend's lap, looks to Kaign and suggests that Brea needs help. "I've never seen her like this before."

Kaign doesn't stop rubbing her as he shakes his shaved head and says,"She's come a long way, cut her some slack. Remember how we found her that night at the diner, she was a wreck? It's just heartbreak, she's confused. Her dad told me about what happened at their little cabin, I can't even imagine. If you ever put me through that much shit, I'll leave your ass in a quick second."

At that, Dylan manages to laugh quietly and loosen up some.

They both look down at Brea as Kaign gently brushes a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You think they'll get back together?"

"I don't doubt it one bit," Kaign answered like he already had his response ready and was sure of it.

Dylan nods in agreement. "That's one toxic relationship—"

"Is it, though? I mean, they were never really together, it was always circumstantial. I was there with them in college, remember? Brea'll never admit it, but she always loved him as much as he loves her."

"Then why weren't they together?"

"Well, other than me getting in the way, Brea's weird with her feelings-" Kaign said, speaking at regular volume when Brea swallowed and wiggled in place to get more comfortable. Once she appears to be fast asleep again, Kaign finishes his storytelling. "When I first told her I liked her, it was in his long text. I'm talking, size twelve lettering, Times New Roman font, double-spaced," they laugh together before Kaign goes on,"I poured my heart out, saying I thought she was beautiful and that I never felt that way about a woman before (literally) and that I wanted to be with her. At the end, I asked if she felt the same way and what she said back... it hurt me, not going to lie."

"What'd she say?" Asked Dylan who was deeply invested in the true story.

Kaign looked down at Brea and then twisted his mouth. "She just said 'oh, okay, thank you, that's nice.'" Kaign let out a chuckle to ease the pain of the situation.

He spoke again after a minute of silence,"It was weird because when she said it, it fucked me up. I was like 'damn, she doesn't like me' but the next day, we were perfectly fine, she acted like she didn't even read it. We were, I guess, dating at the time — she wasn't dealing with Grayson at that point, they were on and off — and we just kept doing what we did before I told her how I felt - kissing and everything, I mean. I didn't bother bringing up the text ever again because I thought if we were kissing and whatever, it meant she liked me but looking back... she didn't... and she was right not to."

His partner, Dylan, looked genuinely sorry for him and went "aww, I'm sorry".

Kaign shook his head, no longer thinking much of it as it's over and he moved on. See, Kaign didn't use Brea as a cover-up. Yes, he was always gay and in the closet but he actually developed feelings for her. However, those "feelings" were just platonic.
Now, he thanked Brea because she helped him come out to Dylan, who he truly loved and wanted to be with. That's honestly why he kept Brea around and cared for her so much, letting her stay with them - he felt bad.
To Kaign, he was the reason Brea was messed up with Grayson, why she couldn't fall for another man. Kaign thought he scarred her and that his wrongdoings on top of her then rocky relationship with her mother after her parent's divorce, that she would never be the same again; incapable of giving and receiving love.

"Don't be," Kaign whispered, stroking Brea's hair,"don't be."

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