Grayson Reid Jansen

     "Keep talking, twenty-four, I love it." I blew a kiss at an opponent who had been on me the whole game. The guy was relentless. It was a team from another county who volunteered to play in the annual tournament.

LJ, Andrew, and Jordy all came over to slap me on the ass and hype me up after that last goal. We were up 5 to 1 - no surprise.

The crowd was raving which made me look over with squinted eyes, the sweat from my forehead passed my brow bones and dropped down to my upper lip.

I stopped ginning and showboating when I noticed Brea having what looked like a heated conversation with Holland.

"Hey, get your head in the game. Come on!" LJ ran past me, shaking my shoulders to snap me out of the space where my mind zoned off to.

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"Another year, another dub." I bragged to my team, except this time around I was on the other team as an alum.

"Dinner on you tonight?" Andrew proposed, playfully punching me in the abs.

"I eat that for breakfast." I gritted, referring to his light blows.

We reached the sidelines and the guys all scattered to be with their friends and family. Meanwhile, Brea was nowhere to be found.

"Grayson-" Holland hollered for me from the bleachers. She waddled down then carefully to approach me.

"Oh, hey. Have you seen Brea?"

"Yeah, she's... oh — there she is!" Holland pointed to the left of us and shown me Brea by the gate talking to some woman. Only, when she turned around and waved at me with Brea, I saw that she wasn't just another woman - it was Bethany. I could've literally shit my pants.

Excluding myself from Holland, I made my way calmly over to Brea and Bethany who were sharing a light laugh.

"Ahahah. What's so funny?" I dryly joined in, sarcastically, of course, and draped my arm over Brea's shoulder.

"Hey, babe, we were just talking about you actually." Brea let me know.

Bethany smiled with closed lips and batted her lashes at me.

My jaw clenched. I grew nervous like they were onto me. It seemed as if I stopped breathing air and the hoodie around my neck got tight.

"Talking about what?"

"Just how good you played, coach." Bethany said, rubbing her hand down my arm.

"Oh, thanks."

"Well, it was nice meeting you Bethany, we have to get going. I'll contact you about the shoot."

"I look forward to it, thanks again!" I watched the women hug and part ways, Brea taking my hand as Bethany walked in the opposite direction.

"Where do we have to go?"

"Dinner at your mom's remember, she wants to make it a weekly thing?"

"Shit, I forgot. Can't we skip it, she always has to bring up some dumb shit-"

"Hey," Brea demanded my attention and when she got it, she palmed my face to say,"look at me, it'll be fine. I promise." She earned a kiss on the head before we could finally exit the stadium.

Before we got all the way to the car, I stopped. A cold chill came over me. It was weird, I couldn't explain the feeling it got; it was in my chest and felt suffocating and ominous.

"Gray, what's wrong?" Brea asked me, obviously very concerned about my sudden odd behavior.

"You ever get a feeling like something bad is going to happen?" I asked Brea, my eyebrows furrowed.

She kissed my knuckles and pursed her lips. Yanking my arm in the direction of my Jeep, she talked some sense into me. "Nothing's going to happen. I have something that might cheer you up." Brea promised, chewing on her lip. Peaking my curiosity, Brea started whispering in my ear - dirty talk, of course. A smirk crept onto my face as I fell weak to everything she said. That was enough to snap me out of my funk and get me home in a hurry.

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"Hello?" I sat up in bed to answer the call and looked over at the digital clock on my bedside drawer that read 5:43 AM.

All I could hear were Holland's cries on the other end of the phone. Through her distraught rambling, I could only hear one thing.

I flung the covers off of my naked body and stared through the window out at the view of the city at night.

"—I'm on my way." My voice was quiet as I talked to my distressed sister.

"Baby, where are you going?" Asked Brea as I moved like a zombie throughout the bedroom with little to no light.

I blinked and a tear fell. Seeing this, Brea hurriedly put my t-shirt on to hug me.

"I gotta go." Was all I said before snatching up my keys and wallet in order to drive to the hospital.

======

"Oh, Grayson!" Holland wept, falling right into my arms as I joined my family in the hallway.

I didn't say anything, only comforted her until she let Mark take her away.

"Dad. Is it true? Where is she? Tell me this is a joke." I asked my dad, squeezing both of his shoulders. He looked me deep in the eyes, his glazed over, and sighed. His head fell and a teardrop was seen hitting the floor from his eyes.

I swung at the air and fought to keep my composure.

"Where's, uh, where's Colson?" My voice cracked as I asked the question. A second later, Colson stood up from the cold, dirty floor and latched onto me.

"She's gone, Gray," Colson cried against my body,"she's gone."

======

It was 12:12 pm. Colson, Holland, Mark, my father, and I were gathered in the living room of our family home after discovering the news.

"She passed away in her sleep. It was the most peaceful way to go." My father spoke up, standing by the grandfather clock at the beginning of the living room.

"We all knew this was coming." Holland concurred, sitting under Mark who occupied the arm of the chair to rub her tense shoulders.

"Doesn't make it hurt any less." Colson barked back quickly, storming off to have some alone time to grief upstairs in his bedroom.

"Colson's right. What do we do now?" I worried, pacing along the carpet.

"Same thing we've been doing. It's what she would've wanted."

"What she wanted was a family dinner and I fucking blew it off." I grumbled.

"Don't you dare make this about yourself, you are not to blame!" Holland jumped up to nag me.
Before I could snap back, I thought about what she said and realized she was right. This wasn't about me and I wasn't to blame. It was the cancer. We knew she was going to die, it's all she ever talked about.

"'I don't have much time left, but'." Holland, dad, and I all mimicked my mother's favorite line. She always said it, like she wanted to guilt trip us into doing something for her but with good intentions.

It didn't feel real. I knew my mother died and barely shed a tear. I hated that I wasn't emotional because it seemed like I didn't care about my mother, but I did. If only I'd shown it more...

"I know you're all probably tired. Why don't we get some rest, discuss this later in my study. I need some time." My father warily made his way to one of the three guest bedrooms downstairs.

BUZZ! BUZZ! (5) unread text messages:

View wifey🖤🤞🏼 (3) >

View Bethany (2) >

Not wanting to deal with Brea yet and break the news to her, I decided to open the messages from Bethany. They read:

Hey, heard about your mom.

How you holding up?

I didn't text back. Instead, I stepped outside on the wrap-around porch and gave her a call.

"Hey." I held it together, balling my fists as I continued to pace.

"Do you want to meet up and talk?" I nodded at her question like she could see me.

"Be there in fifteen."