Grayson Reid Jansen

   No, I didn't leave the wedding. Had I done that, I wouldn't have ever heard the end of Holland and my mother's bitching. I only stepped outside for some fresh air, not that anyone would notice or care.

"Grayson, that you?" Asked a familiar voice. I squinted my eyes in the dark to make out who it was that was talking to me. I quickly realized it was my brother-in-law's Uncle Mike.

"Sup." Our hands slid.

He was sitting on the bench under a leering tree, smoking a fug. "Here." Mike offered me one.

I waved the smoke out of my face and said "no, thank you."

"You look like you could use it. Stressed?" He asked. That was one way to put it, I'd say "overthinking" but both fit.

Fuck it, I thought in the moment and took a fresh from the pack cigarette out of his hands.

It wasn't my first time smoking a cigarette. In fact, the first time was when I was in college. I had gotten into some trouble and decided to go party because I thought I'd be getting expelled the next day. We were at a party, me and my guys, I was sitting on the couch in somebody's living room when these two girls came and sat on my lap. This guy, this freshman who wanted to be my friend so bad, said I looked bad ass - like a pimp or something I think he said - and handed me a cig. I remember saying "fuck it" and just smoked it.

It was still as nasty as I remembered. Shit really was a stress reliever though but if I was gonna smoke anything, it'd be weed. I had to stop smoking though after I got in with the wrong people and that's all they did. It got fucking tiring, boring. The feeling wore off and getting high just became pointless. I guess it was pointless because I actually was depressed around that time and being high was only a temporary solution. I didn't want a temporary solution. Now, I just didn't smoke weed because Colson copied my every move and I didn't want him getting into that shit.

The door flew opened and let Brea out, followed by some guy I never saw before.

Uncle Mike nudged me, offering a bottle of Jack he stole from the bar. Straight faced, I took it and started drinking it like it was water.

Brea didn't see me as she was carrying things to her car with this new guy. She was all smiles as he took the equipment from her hands and held the door open for her.

"Isn't that your girl?" Asked my uncle, looking up at me with worry.

I didn't sweat it, though, he was just helping her put her shit away. I knew the second she was done, she'd come looking for me.

Or so I thought.

The guy closed the door and leaned over Brea, trapping her in his noodly arms. She grinned big and laughed at something he said. And this wasn't just a laugh, it was her flirty laugh. I knew because when we first met, she laughed at me like that even when what I said wasn't really that funny.

I clenched my jaw and continued watching from afar.

I stepped boldly into the light at the edge of the pavement and watched angrily as Brea took this motherfucker's hand and skipped back inside with him.

"You know how happy somebody gotta be to skip?" Uncle Mike instigated. I loosened up my tie, extinguished the cigarette, and charged inside where I stopped in the doorway to the ball room and peeked in.

In the center of the floor, Brea was dancing with the same guy from outside.

I tried not to be jealous and go in there and hurt this kid but they weren't making it easy.

Brea was spinning in a circle when the guy stopped a roaming caterer to take two drinks from him and offer one to Brea. Even though she wasn't "much of a drinker", she took it anyway. Throwing her hands freely in the air, the kid slid his grimy hands down her body, to right under her mini dress and kept his hands at her hips. Brea backed into him and bent over. When she came back up from a hair flip, the boy had a look on his face that I didn't like at all. He looked way too fucking happy. He started running his hands all over her skin and when she turned to look at him, I saw him stare at her lips. Those soft, full, pink, juicy lips I loved so much.

Right as I was about to go over and break it up, Brea walked away from him. I saw she was coming my way, so I hid behind a plant.
When the door opened, I watched her pull out her phone and she started to text.
My phone vibrated in my pocket so I discreetly declined the call and appeared from behind the plastic tree.

"Hey." I scared Brea from behind.

"Oh, hey. Where were you, you left me alone in there?" She said, pouting.

'Alone' my ass, I thought.

"Just getting some air." I swallowed.

"You wanna go for a walk?"

======

"Your mom is something else." Brea giggled as we walked hand-in-hand around the estate where the wedding and reception took place.

Agreeing with that statement, I chuckled lightly and continued walking with my head down.

"I caught the bouquet, you know? Mhm. Don't worry, I gave it to your cousin Shelby. She said she's been trying to get married for years. Three times divorced?" Brea talked and I nodded at her correct, but irrelevant, information.

Wearing my jacket, Brea turned a corner that was marked "off limits" to the wedding party with caution tape. I wanted to tell her not to go back there but she did what she wants anyway so it was no use. Instead of being a total stick in the mud, I followed her to this alluring balcony at the end of the dark hall. The mansion was so big and we were so far, we could barely hear the music anymore.

"Gray, you're always honest with me so I wanna be honest with you," Brea started to tell me something. She inhaled and said,"It doesn't really matter because I know this is just a stupid dare or whatever, but, I met someone tonight. He was really nice, we danced and talked. I'm not saying I like him, but, he was sweet. I didn't kiss him or anything but we came close. Are you mad?"

I inhaled through my nose deeply, my eyes closed. "Doesn't really matter what I think." I answered emotionlessly.

'Are you mad?' I mimicked her in my head. OF COURSE I WAS MAD.

Brea looked at me and didn't say anything. She blinked away and paced along the balcony. I stood there and looked out at the yard full of cars.

The moon was bright and appeared to be freakishly close. I'm talking, "Bruce Almighty" type of moon.

I guess it was my turn to open up.

It wasn't fair that I'd been giving Brea the cold shoulder literally all day since I had that talk with Chandler after Brea decided to move out of his house. It's just that he really opened my eyes, I noticed some similarities in his relationship with his ex wife (Brea's mom, Maria) and my own so I had some doubts, okay?

"You know how my mom is, right? She wasn't always like that. Her and I used to be close. Like, real close. I told her everything up until I met you; I didn't tell her about you at first. And, no, not because I didn't like you. Actually, I didn't tell her about you because I did like you and I had always brought these girls around her but those relationships would always end so I stopped introducing my family to girls I hooked up with. Well anyway, I guess after me and you stopped talking I wasn't the same. And it was around the time I stopped playing soccer so it was like 'damn, I can't catch a break'. I shut everyone out, started drinking more, abused sex, my grades were slipping, I might've dabbled with drugs, and got into some fights - stupid, reckless, childish bullshit." I vented, my palms on the railing.

Brea walked over and rubbed my back. She sniffled and put her head on my tense shoulder.

"I blamed you for making me lose that game and get hurt. I really fuckin' hated you for it, too. Maybe it was because you told me about Kaign saying he loved you that night, I was distracted?"

"Gray, you don't know how bad I wanted you to chase me."

"I knew you did, that's the thing. I just didn't care. Of course, I regret that shit now. After that night, I kept thinking about how different things would be if I didn't let Kaign take you-"

"You didn't 'let' him do anything. I chose him. You didn't want me, remember?"

"Yeah I did. I didn't know how to say it, I wasn't mature enough. I had it all: girls, money, popularity. I was one of the top D1 athletes in the world. In the world, B!"

"So that was more important than me?"

I ignored her question and said,"If I had just told you I liked you, made you mine, I wouldn't have been so... off... that night-"

"What're you talking about?"

"After you and Kaign made it official or whatever, he said some things about you so I beat him up." I confessed for the first time.

In shock, Brea gasped. "He never mentioned it-"

"I told him not to. The whole game I was asking myself 'why am I fighting over a girl I don't even like' — until I realized I did like you. Really liked you. Maybe even loved you."

None of that was easy to get out but it had to be said.

Brea's eyes lit up but she didn't say anything. Her finger started to dance along my spine while she put a kiss on my neck and then smiled at me warmly before sucking her lips into her mouth.

I picked her up and walked her away from the edge, to the door that I kicked shut and slammed her back against.

When I pulled my jacket off her body and threw it onto a bench, she slid out of my arms and stood up. She collected herself and said,"Gray, no, we can't - the contact!"

I stopped unbuckling my belt for a moment to look down into her eyes and say,"Breanna, tell me right now that you actually give a fuck about that contract."

She hesitated to answer,"I do."

"Fine," I said,"we don't have to have sex."

"Thank you." Aha, she thought I was serious. No. I knew what it would take to break her down. There was no way she could hold out, especially for another five months.

Brea bit down on her lip which I took as she was turned on so I kissed her hard, grabbing her face roughly in the way she liked. She let herself enjoy the kiss and that's when I knew I had her submitted. Too easy.

I started to kiss her neck and suck on her spot. When she let out soft moans I knew I had her right where I wanted her.

She was whispering my name like she wanted me to stop but I knew she didn't. It was sexy, though. I knew how to tell if she wanted it or not. As she pulled me in for another kiss, our tongues finding each other, I lifted her dress off and Brea told me to choke her.

Don't gotta tell me twice, I thought.

"Slut," I quietly laughed at her in between kisses. She blushed and started unbuttoning my shirt. Brea didn't mind being called that, I thought it was hot of her, too.

I slid my hand gently down there and pressed my thumb hard against her clit. When she buckled and whimpered, I started sucking on her neck again and eased a finger inside of her.

She grabbed my hand and sucked my finger then kissed me and guided my hand back down.

I couldn't control myself much longer. Brea was fucking sexy there's no other way to put it!

She ripped a hair tie out and let her straight, blonde hair fall down past her exposed shoulders.

As I ripped off my belt, and unfastened my slacks, Brea had threw her bra and reached down into her panties. She started touching herself right before my very eyes. Speechless, I swallowed hard and stopped what I was doing to kneel down. I looked up at her like a lion looking at it's reflection as it drank from a watering hole.

Having a hard time to contain myself, I started biting the flesh on her inner thighs until I grew impatient and ripped her thong apart. My one arm wrapped around her torso and rested at the small of her back while my other hand caressed her round ass.

I lifted her leg over my left shoulder and started to do something I only did for her, but I was doing it for both of our pleasure.

I was Brea's kryptonite and I mean that in the most humble way possible. That wasn't necessarily a good thing either. I worried a lot about her lack of self control. Someone could really take advantage of that one day. And that scared me.

Look at what was happening, she said no at first yet went along anyway. She was weak. Because, as much as she didn't want to admit it, she was just as horny as I was and simply couldn't resist me.

When she cried out and her juices streamed into my mouth, her body trembled and she loosened her grip on my hair. I licked my lips and let go of her body that smelled good - like fresh, creamy vanilla with a hint of lavender. I wiped my face and suddenly realized my head was killing me. My headache came back but I think it was just 'cause all the overthinking I was doing. The drinking hadn't helped those thoughts go away, only increased them.

I grew annoyed at myself for constantly replaying in my head what Chandler said to me, about being careful. He said there's no way she'd be ready to settle and commit and that it would take her far too long to say she loved me, that is, if she ever even started to develop those feelings. He said, like with him and Brea's mother, it'd be this toxic, never-ending cycle of her wanting me then not wanting me, and me chasing her.

Then, I started to remember the guy Brea was dancing with. It made me mad that she could allow herself to get comfortable with someone right in front of me and my family. To make shit worse, she had the nerve to tell me about him! And not only that, she said they would've kissed.

Pissed, I handed Brea her dress and told her to put it on. When she did, she looked at me confused. I knew she thought something was wrong, which there was, but I wasn't about to have that conversation.

"What's wrong?" She asked me in a sweet tone.

"Nothing." I answered, removing her hands from my face. I opened the door and started to walk out of it before I turned around to speak again. "I got a headache. I'm gonna call it a night, you can stay."

"Grayson-" she cooed, grabbing my hand.

My head really was pounding, though. So, I didn't want to continue the conversation so I just kissed her forehead and walked away.