Breanna Michelle Santana

  "So, doc? Is there anything I can do t-to fix this?"

"I'm afraid not. It's simply the shape of your uterus."

"Okay, I'm confused?"

"The shape makes it hard for a fertilized egg to implant." He told me, looking at my x-rays.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning you're infertile. This is common in cis women, Miss Santana. There are some treatment options for infertility but for you, in this case, it's just your heart-shaped uterus. However, there is a surgery you could get. Would you like to know more?"

"Surgery? I don't want that." I knew that wasn't an option, afraid that it could ruin more than it could fix. However, if I endured more failed pregnancies as time went on, I'd consider it.

"Then I'm afraid there's not much more we could do."

"So, what does this mean? I won't be able to get pregnant at all?"

"If you do, the chances of staying pregnant are very, very slim - nearly impossible - but that's even if you— I'm sorry, Miss Santana."

======

Sigh.

As my car pulled into the driveway, a white Chrysler 300 pulled out and sped down the road in the opposite direction of which I came.

I got out of my car and locked the doors before walking along the pavement to get to the front door where I rang the doorbell and waited for my dad to answer as I was too tired to even get out my copy of the house key.

"Hey." My dad greeted me out of breath.

"Hey. Dad, who was that that just left here?" I asked, bringing myself to the living room where I lazily plopped down onto the sectional.

"Just a friend." He couldn't help but smile so I figured that meant they were more than just "friends".

I lifted my head to tease him. "A friend, or a friend?"

"Just a friend." He repeated, laughing on the arm of the chair.

"Uh-huh," I sounded,"is this the same friend you had over the other night?"

"Ew, Brea, you were here?"

"Yes and wide awake. I heard everything."

"That's unsettling." He cringed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You're telling me." I scoffed, putting my face in the pillow.

"Sorry." He shrugged and walked into the kitchen. "How's Grayson, he hasn't been over much?"

"Too busy with the house and soccer team." I answered with a slight snarky tone as I was upset to not be spending a desirable amount of time with my "boyfriend".

"The season's almost over, he'll be all yours."

"I guess." I didn't sound too sure, not trying to get my hopes up for nothing.

"You get your dress for the wedding this weekend?"

"I think I'm just going to wear something old, I barely feel like going." I brought myself to sit on a barstool at the counter.

"Why not, bud?"

I shrugged my shoulders like I didn't know the answer when I really did. Truth is, I didn't wanna be surrounded by more kids, happy couples, and pregnant women. It was beginning to become depressing, and cruelly torturous.

"I don't feel good." I told the partial truth.

My dad stopped chopping the carrots and looked up at me with pity for a moment. "I'll whip you up a bowl of soup and get you some medicine," he said,"you'll be feeling better in time for this wedding."

"Great." I sang through my teeth, forcing a smile until he looked away and I got up to go sulk in another room.

======

"Wow." I let out in admiration as I walked up to the construction site where Grayson's house was being built.

"Hold up, guys." I heard Grayson say to another worker. He jumped down from the rough foundation and nipped towards me.

"Hii, babe." I greeted him with a peck on the lips.

"Hey, baby. What you doing here?"

"We have to talk." I said, taking his hand so that I could lead him away from the noisy area and onto the back of his work truck where we sat on the tailgate.

"What's this?" He asked when he saw the paper and pen in my hands.

"Well, today's our one month anniversary so I figured we'd make a contract."

He laughed at me. "One month anniversary? Some couples give gifts, some don't even acknowledge it, but you, you give me a contract. I'm flattered, really."

"Hush," I ripped the plain piece paper from his hands and started to write on a hard surface that was the composition notebook I ripped the paper out of.

"So. We have five months left, right?"

"Give or take."

"No. You said six months. We agreed on six months."

"To be fair, I said 'by the time the house is built'. Loopholes."

Hahahahaha, I thought. No.

I rolled my eyes. "Anyway. That means this will be over in January, correct?"

"If you want it to be, yeah."

"What does that mean? Never mind, don't answer that. I only have a few rules, okay?"

"Jesus Christ." He exhaled and rubbed his temples before crossing his arms across his strong, Captain America chest.

"Stop complaining. Now, listen. Number one-" I began to discuss my terms with him as I wrote them all down:

1.) no one finds out this isn't real [even Holland and especially not parents]
2.) no extension of the due date [this ends in January]
3.) NO SEX! [with each other OR others]

"Okay, sign here." I said confidently, passing the pen to Grayson.

He blinked his eyes. "You're joking, right? No sex?"

"No. I have to find out if I like you for you and not just a part of you. So, we're not having sex for the remainder of this little bet. And no, that doesn't mean you can have sex with other people either."

"Why, you'll get jealous?" He tried it, slightly nudging me with his elbow.

"Pfft, no. I've seen the girls you've hooked up with and they all look dirty - I don't want an STD - you fuck any girl with two legs."

"Breanna, are you serious?! That's six months too long I can't wait that long and neither can you."

"Um... yes I can. I waited eighteen years unlike you. What were you again, thirteen?"

"So?" He said it like there was nothing wrong.

"What's your number?"

"I don't think you wanna know that-"

"Oh shut up. I don't care, I just wanna know."

"I don't know, Brea. Does it matter?" He asked, bashfully looking down at his feet.

"I asked and questions need answers so answer."

"Umm," he vibrates his lips in thought," maybe... I dunno-"

"Come on, is it six? Ten? Twenties?"

"Higher." He shamefully told me.

"Grayson that's nasty. Were these like, one night stands?"

"I mean, yeah, sometimes."

Oh. "Were any one them... girlfriends?"

"I never did the whole girlfriend thing, you know that."

I nodded "Hm. Good to know. So like, have you ever had a threesome?"

"Why, you want to?" He seemed to eager to know the answer. I smacked my lips and he laughed.

He then answered my question with,"Yeah. A couple times, the first time when I was fifteen. I was staying on a college campus for this soccer camp and there was a party I had no business being at. These girls were kissing, I told them it was hot and they started kissing me. Next thing I know my clothes are off and I'm fucking two girls at once. It's not as fun as it sounds though."

"I didn't think it sounded fun at all. I also didn't need to know that. Grayson, you realize those girls took advantage of you, right?"

"But I liked it." He said in true male nature.

"Pig." I snarled, signing my name on the sheet in the appropriate place.

"For real, you might as well rip this up 'cause I'm not signing it."

======

"—Now sign it." I said, sitting up after wiping the corners of my mouth. I picked up a water bottle from the cup holder of Grayson's truck and gulped it down.

While he adjusted himself and fastened his belt, I observed my appearance in the camera on my phone.

Once he got himself decent, Grayson angrily snatched the pen from my hands and signed where I told him to.

"Thanks. Hope you enjoyed that, it's not happening for another five months." I smiled and reached for the handle to the door but Grayson stopped me. He hopped out of the truck and went around to open the door for me but didn't let me out.

"Uh-uh. You said no sex-"

"Oral sex. It's literally in the name, duh. Loopholes." I mocked him from earlier.

"You're sick." He grumbled at me and pulled my feet onto the ground by my waist.

"I have to go. Text me." I started to walk away but not before Grayson grabbed my hand.

"You haven't said anything about the wedding. You still wanna go, right?"

"Well, I do have to take pictures." I reminded him, and myself.

"But do you want to go? I don't want you to get the wrong idea."

"Please, I'll be fine. Thanks for worrying, though. It's cute." I playfully slapped his cheek twice before squeezing and walking away for the final time.