After the jam session, and Jake had headed back home, I felt something I hadn't felt before. Was it the butterflies that people talk about in books? It felt more like happiness because of the beautiful music Jake and I made together, I mean, it sounded like something you'd hear from one of those famous people on TV. But I couldn't help but wonder if I had started to actually like this Jake guy. Ok, let's face it, I do like him, but how so? Like, as a music buddy? A guy friend? Or am I going as far as to wanting to call him my boyfriend? As I walked down the sidewalk towards the shelter, I slowed down a bit to hear the wind blow through the now green leaves. A week ago the leaves and flowers had all blossomed and it all looked and smelled absolutely amazing! I took the long way back to the shelter, going through the park. I found a bench and just sat and listened. I always found that listening is just very relaxing. I closed my eyes and I started thinking about Jake, then I started thinking about all the problems and heartaches from every other guy I had gotten close to. I didn't want that again. I didn't want to trust someone else and get thrown away like trash. I mean, I somewhat blame myself for throwing myself at every other guy I saw, what did I expect? That I would be invincible to the heartache that came along with being rejected? But one way or another, I didn't want to throw my heart away to another guy who most likely will do the same just like every other guy. I realized that tears had started running down my face. Look at me I thought out loud. I'm such a wimp. Why couldn't it be as simple as never seeing a guy ever again? Just say no to every guy who came near me. But no, couldn't be that simple. I have to go through all kinds of heartache and pain just to find out I'm going to be rejected again. Why, I asked myself. Why did he have to come into my life? He messed everything up. I had just finished picking up what's left of my heart and now I'm having trouble keeping it all together. What am I supposed to do? I started crying. I couldn't hold it in. That's it, I couldn't take it anymore, I'm going to have to tell him to back off, to get out of my life. I'm going to have to tell the one person who seems to want to be in my life, to get out...