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Campbell's mall smelled like Christmas, and I was overwhelmed in the best way.

The huge evergreen near the entrance brought back memories of taking pictures with Santa, and I could almost taste the new winter scents from Bath & Body Works: peppermint, frozen lake, mahogany, and fresh sparkling snow. There was a hot chocolate vendor by the front, and me and Luke each got a cup, the steaming hot drink warming us up to our fingertips.

There's always something really nostalgic about Christmas, and the season surrounding it. It might be because it's so familiar, a merry constant since I was a child. I know I'm lucky, though. My holidays have always been happy and bright, because my family was...well, they were something good, anyways. 

I knew others didn't get that. I glanced at Luke, who'd fallen behind me, staring at his phone, and I waited for him to catch up. I slung an arm around his shoulder, my hand finding space on his puffer jacket, and he turned to roll his eyes at me. 

But I saw the smile on his face, and we walked in silence. 

This place  was always crowded, especially around this time of the year, but it was worth it. For the amazing food and amazing sales, I sang in my head, remembering their little commercial tune. Really, everywhere I passed, I had to control myself not to get anything for me. 

As we continued to look for cheap stuff we could pass off as gifts, we bickered about anything and everything, from Marvel superheroes to Harry Potter. Were Gryffindors the most basic House? Maybe. But would I defend them with my entire heart? Yes. Were they better than Slytherins? Secretly, I didn't think so, but it was fun to argue about stupid things like this. 

Luke would shake his head at me, and say my name in that admonishing tone, and throw his hands up in the air, and it was funny as fuck. Annoying him was my favorite side-hobby, right next to pissing off Maya. 

As I laughed at something he said, I noticed a group of pretty girls out of the corner of my eyes who'd been staring at us. Well no, they were staring at...Luke. 

They giggled when they were caught, and I prodded Luke to get his attention. He looked up from his phone just as two of them walked up to us, all smiles. 

"Hi," one of them said, and I smiled back. She was hot, a tall, Asian girl with dyed blonde hair cropped under her chin. 

"Hey..." I started, glancing at Luke to gauge his expression. He just looked bored. 

"My friend thinks you're cute," the other one said, looking at Luke, and he raised his eyebrows. "Can she get your insta? She's that one, over there," she said, and my eyes followed her pointed finger. Oh shit, she was gorgeous. Luke would be stupid to say no. I smirked, sipping on my now cold hot chocolate, waiting for Luke's response.

"Uh thanks, but I'm gay." I choked on my drink, and the brunette one glanced at me, trying not to laugh. Say what now?

"Oh! Um, I'm sorry..." the first girl trailed off, and she turned to walk back to her friends, an embarrassed look on her face. The brunette took another look at both of us before letting out a snort, and she proceeded to follow her friend. Once they were both gone, I turned on Luke with both my eyebrows raised. 

"You were kidding right?" I clarified, "About the whole gay thing?"

"No. I wasn't." No, he has to be joking. Right? Because otherwise, we'd kissed last night, and that was...that was all different now, and it was just- 

Well. He had to be joking. 

"That's not funny Luke. That's not even a little bit funny. You don't just joke about things like that," I said nervously, trying to sound like I wasn't a second away from panicking. He looked at me with a dead serious expression when he burst out laughing, throwing his head back. A kid who was walking by us turned to throw him a concerned look. Touché. 

"It's so much fun messing with you, man. I just told her that so she wouldn't feel bad."

"Shut the fuck up," I muttered, more relieved than I cared to admit. The confession hit a little too close to home after the events of the day before. I'd started questioning my sexuality because of this guy, and here he was, joking about him being gay. Fucking idiot. 

A long hour and fifteen shops later, we stopped at the food court again and got french fries, unable to resist the smell. We'd sat, and Luke was staring at something beyond my shoulder, on the floor below us. 

"Should we just eat lunch here?" 

"Mhm," Luke replied absent-mindedly. 

"What do you want to get then?"

"Cool." Was he ignoring me? 

"I'm failing school, so I'm gonna drop out and become a stripper," I deadpanned, a bit annoyed now.

"Sounds nice."

I grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look at me. 

"What are you doing? Are you even listening to me?" 

He laughed, pushing himself back. "Sorry, I wasn't. But look, over there. By Sephora." I glanced over to see none other than Madeline, arguing with a dark-haired girl, a blonde girl by her side. 

Wait, I knew that ponytail, the way it swung sharply to the side while arguing. Elena? 

"Fucking hell, Luke, that's Elena." He looked at me, and I stared back, trying not to let any emotion show. This was the first time I was seeing her after the break-up, and she looked...Well, she didn't look like she was at her best. 

But I didn't think that had to do with me. It was probably because she was out here, yelling at one of her best friends in the middle of a shopping mall. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but it was obviously serious. 

Madeline reached out to the blonde next to her, taking her hand placatingly. Wait. What? 

The girl looked at her with so much love in her eyes, and I was still reeling from the original shock when Elena turned, walking away with her hands balled. Her face looked like it did when we'd broken up: pink and angry.   

Madeline and the blonde girl were still talking, and they kissed before blondie left. 

I turned to Luke and stole one of his fries, then wondered out loud, "Madeline has a girlfriend?"  

"Apparently," he replied, looking slightly less shocked than I did. 

"Did you know about this?" 

"No. Clearly she's trying to keep it a secret. But she's not doing a very good job of it, if you ask me."

"Why'd you think Elena reacted like that?" I asked, and Luke shrugged.

"Why do you care?" 

"I don't!" He was watching me, one eyebrow raised. "No, seriously, I don't. I'm over Elena." 

"Okay," Luke said, and silence fell over us. Luke kept staring at me and I squirmed in my seat, uncomfortable. 

"Well it wouldn't hurt just to-" 

"No." 

"But I was gonna-" 

"No!" Luke said the word with finality, and I deflated, pouting. 

"Fine. Let's go." 

We kept walking around the mall, still shopping, when we found our way near a familiar shock of red hair. Madeline glanced at us, and looked back down at her phone, bored. 

I turned to Luke almost immediately, and he sighed at the look on my face. 

"You're not gonna let this go, are you?" he asked, and I shook my head. 

"No." 

"If you go ask her about Elena will you stop with all this? Forget about her for a bit?" 

"Yes." Probably not, but my curiosity's overwhelming my desire to be truthful at the moment. I wasn't entirely sure why it was so important for me to talk to her, but it was. I needed to know how Elena was doing, for whatever reason. 

Luke sighed again, and we started walking over to Madeline, pushing past a group of college kids holding bags. She looked up at us, eyes peering from behind sunglasses. It's December, but fashion before everything I guess. 

"What do you two want?" 

"You were talking to Elena." The statement came out more like a question, and she frowned at the name. 

"Yes. I was." 

"Well..." I paused, and Luke prodded my shoulder. "How...is she?" 

"She's fine." 

"She didn't look fine," I blurted out, and Madeline's eyes narrowed. 

"That's none of your business then," she said, putting her phone into the bag beside her. 

"Also," Luke started, "Um, we wanted to tell you that we saw you." He was deliberately ignoring Madeline's warning look, the way her eyebrows had scrunched together. 

"Go on." 

"And, we just want to make it clear, we're totally accepting or whatever. We're not like gonna shun you," I said, cringing as the words fell out of my mouth and made a mess on the floor, harsh, loud, unable to keep my opinions to myself. Luke made a face at me, but this caught Madeline's interest and she looked us dead in the eye, a little panic showing.

"What the fuck. Did you just say?" Me and Luke looked to each other, both unwilling to speak now. 

"Well," Luke finally continued, "Aiden's saying it all weird, but we saw your girlfriend. Or whatever. I'm not sure."

There was a controlled mask of calm on Madeline's face, and it was like any semblance of emotion had been wiped off. 

"And you wanted to tell me this for what?" 

"We just wanted to tell you we wouldn't, like, tell anyone. And besides, we kinda assumed the argument you had with Elena was about that," I said. 

"We're not talking about Elena anymore. I have to go, so-" 

"Yeah, we were just about to leave, weren't we Aiden?" And that was my cue. 

"Thanks Madeline," I said, but she didn't even look up at me and we walked away from the devil herself. 

"Good job not being desperate," Luke muttered, and I scowled. 

"Shut the fuck up." 

"Are you ever going to get over Elena? She doesn't give a fuck about you, y'know." His words were harsh and they hit home, hitting my deepest fears and insecurities with perfection. 

"I swear to god, Lucas, if you don't shut up right now." 

I saw the group of girls we'd met before from the corner of my eye, laughing with each other. The one who'd wanted Luke's number smiled and walked up when she noticed us there, and I stiffened, not sure what to expect.

"You guys are a cute couple by the way." This she said very casually, turning back around almost immediately and leaving us in stunned silence. I glanced at Luke, and he burst out laughing at my fish-like expression. 

"It's not funny," I mumbled, elbowing him as we made our way into yet another store. I ignored the weird feeling her words had made me feel, and I remembered the kiss from the night before. I shook it out of my head for the thousandth time that day, shoving it into a box in my head labeled, 'Traumatic Things Aiden Doesn't Want to Think About', promising myself I would unpack that someday. 

 After another half hour of Luke's complaints, I still hadn't found the perfect gift for Maya, but decided on a snuggly blanket and socks, since she was always cold. The coldest it probably ever got was like 40 degrees here, but whatever. 

I'd also gotten a bunch of scented candles and lotion for my mom and some art supplies for my dad. He had recently gotten into painting, so I had gotten him some palette knives to work with. Kenji got band merch and Rishi got gym clothes and hair product.

"Finally! I can go home and rest!" Luke sighed, and I glanced at my phone. 

"You hungry?" 

"Yeah." His stomach growled as if to prove his point. 

"Let's go back to my place, we can grab lunch there."

"Sick, your dad's food is the best." 

As we walked out into the parking lot, Luke pulled out his phone, probably to text his brother and tell him. Luke's parents were...well, it was complicated. They had never really wanted kids, but they'd had two almost for the sake of it and then left them to fend for themself. Things had gotten fucked up a while ago and when the authorities realized how often Luke was left alone, they let him get adopted by his brother, Nate. They'd lived alone together for the past few years, just them and their dog against the world. 

We got into the car, and he turned the radio on again, humming along. The song wasn't one I knew, but it felt oddly familiar, reminding me of better times. I felt a wave of nostalgia pass, thinking of rough tanbark and playgrounds and the burn of a hot metal slide against bare legs. I was reminded of the summer of second-grade when me and Luke had just met. Even though we weren't that close yet, as a kid, you have brotherly bonds with every single one of your friends. And it had been the same for us as Luke practically carried me home after I had fallen off my bike. Turns out I had broken my leg, but I still remembered that point of our friendship, and how I'd stuck by his side ever since.

We'd arrived home, in the time I'd been thinking and stepped into the house to the homely, familiar scent of spices. I peeked into the kitchen and smiled at the scene that greeted me: Ricky Martin playing on our old black radio and my Dad using the rubber spatula as a microphone. He was wearing his patterned apron, and I knew he was making Chicken curry. 

"Upside, inside out-" 

"Hey Dad!" I called out, and he paused to turn and wave at us.

"Hey Aiden. Hello, Luke, would you like to try this?" he asked, and Luke grabbed a plate, practically running to my dad. I laughed, heading to the bathroom. Unsurprisingly, I found my sister already there, sitting up on the sink. 

"Yo, what are you putting all over your face?" I asked, unable to tear my eyes away from the green goop on her cheeks and forehead. Maya rolled her eyes at my reaction, continuing to gently dab it on.

"Not everyone can use dish soap as a cleanser and still have perfect skin, Aiden."

"I don't use dish soap as a cleanser, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You use a five-in-one soap Aiden, let's be for real," she said.  

"It's a two in one..." I muttered. My conditioner and shampoo combo had been there for me when no one else had, she was not allowed to insult it. 

"Where's mom?" I asked.

"Went to get a haircut. Now why are you bothering me? Go away."

"Go away," I mocked, but I trudged up the stairs to my room anyway, looking to change into more comfortable clothes. I heard my dad and Luke's laughter from upstairs and smiled, going down the stairs to find out what was so funny. Since we'd been friends for so long, my parents loved Luke as much as they loved me. Possibly more, if you considered his perfect grades. 

My life would be very different without him. He was the one who had gotten me into soccer, who had introduced me to an embarrassing number of friends. He was the only one who laughed with me about stupid things, and who pushed me to actually do my homework. He even let me cheat off of him in math. 

I was glad he'd somehow find his way into my life. I don't know what I'd do without him. 

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do u guys miss my cute lil chapter titles bc i miss them a little bit it always gave like Rick Riordan's titles but i cut them :( oh the things i do for the aesthetic </3 

i am totally fine seeing grammar corrections, so don't hesitate to correct me. be as fierce as an english teacher, idc. 

i miss what wattpad was earlier it's not the same anymore and everyone's leaving/left a while ago (all for totally valid reasons) but it makes me sad bc the community's changing and i'll shut up now mini rant over 

any thoughts abt the chapter tho lol,,,,

stay safe, 

<3 bia