the phones were set face down on the table even though they were off. guess we wanted each others full attention. my kindly bought croissant lay untouched. outside, the sun that once hung high in the sky was now slowly sinking down in the horizon. thank goodness eomma doesn't need me home anytime soon. back in the café, we're playing 20-ish questions.

"favorite color?" yoongi started.

"purple."

"white. and sometimes black. favorite movie?"

"the notebook."

"oooh, it's inception for me. hmm, do you have any pets?"

"nope! you?"

"i've got a dog named molly. which class do you hate the most?"

"i've gotta say math. mr. namjoon is way too smart for me."

"haha same. i hate math. how about you ask some now?"

"o-ok. what's your favorite sport?" i stuttered.

"oh definitely basketball. it's a huge pastime for me."

"ah, i'd say anything with a ball. where were you born?"

"daegu."

"busan. ooh, i've got one! favorite instrument?"

"piano piano piano piano pi-"

"ok ok, i get it you love piano, me too!"

we both laughed heartily, smiles threatening to make their way onto our lips. we sat quietly for a little while longer. i caught the pattern of yoongi's silence before he speaks. i didn't need to hear a word because in the silence, every tone i seek is heard. right about now he's going to say something i don't want to hear...

"so, if you don't mind my asking, what's your issue with eating? is it diabetes? depression?"

it's words like these, words that i'm scared to hear and the truth of how they feel that leave the whole words ringing in my ears. i gulped and felt my cheeks turn a bright pink. yoongi spoke again.

"because you know, even now, when i feel i can read you like a book? there seems to be some pages missing... you've just got me worried and i think i deserve to know what's wrong. we have known each other for a little while now. surely you can tell me, your friend...right?"

i shifted uncomfortably in the faux leather seat. i guess i knew i'd have to face the fire sooner or later. my mouth suddenly felt very dry, and i wished i had another drink.

"i-i had a friend. well, sort of friend. her name's ana. and she's so pretty and thin and i can only wish i looked like her. but when we started hanging out more and more, i started listening to her advice. not eating. counting, constantly counting and checking for change. she seemed so n-nice at first and then when i let her see me, like r-really see m-me, all i wanted was for her to be gone so i could be reminded of what happiness is. sh-she's stuck. in. my. head."

yoongi knew i didn't want his pitying eyes at having witnessed me oh so vulnerable. i reminded myself: he's only staying with you because he feels bad for you, not because he wants to.

yoongi questioned me in a soft calm voice."i understand completely. i thought ana was my friend once too, but i'm better now, and you can be better with me. jimin, how much do you weigh?" he didn't even hesitate to ask

"45 kg." (100 lbs)

yoongi's expression went from concern to his heart sinking to his stomach. maybe he does care? don't get attached, jimin...

yoongi sighed for what felt like the 50th time in the café. perhaps i was only trying to see the bad, but i saw a glimmer of pain in his eyes. trust me, i was sad about it too. i could really stand to lose a lot more weight. that's why he would never like me, unless i committed to the change. damn you, ana...

"i want you to listen to me jimin. i don't know everything that you're going through, but i know enough. and you're not going to get better if you don't want to. so i'm going to use all my power to help you realize how beautiful you are. i know you're thinking you can't trust me, or that i'll turn out to be a fake, or just like someone else who's hurt you in the past. if i could trade places with you, i would, believe me. god knows i can take it after everything i've been through. but just know, even though we haven't known each for the longest time, i feel like we're going to stick together. we can be like, two depressed besties you know?"

yoongi was whispering and somehow it felt appropriate because on lookers were starting to get that look of pity in their eyes i've always hated. i was crying because i didn't know what else to do. everything i ever trusted never said things like yoongi just did.

and i- i trusted every word.

"yes," i replied in a hushed tone. "but it won't be easy for either of us, you get that right? being friends with me...might be a bad idea. i don't want to hurt you or make you look bad."

"jiminie, you never could! i'll always lo- i'll always be here for you ahah!"

"then that's good enough for me. for now."

on that note we went back to our lighthearted questions, but with slightly less enthusiasm. he went to ruffle my hair at one point, but i pulled back. he knew what that meant.

we looked down at our watches simultaneously as we saw an employee flip the open sign on the door to closed. it was 10 til 9 pm already! i wasn't ready to go home to jihyun and my parents just yet.

"it's a friday night, what the hell," yoongi declared. "do you have anywhere to be tomorrow?"

"no, why?"

"i say we get out of here and i can show you one of my favorite places. maybe it'll help you enjoy life a bit. what do you say?"

"what the hell," i copied. "let's go!"

the cutie grabbed my hand and lead the way to this mysterious wonderful place. i was picturing a music studio or a bar of some sort. i was just happy being with my only friend. the colors of the sunset slowly went from orange to purple to a dark blue. i could hear the crickets chirping in the bushes around me as i felt my legs growing tired. i hadn't even been paying attention to where we were going; all i felt was the softness of yoongi's hand.

we came to a stop and yoongi put his hands over my eyes before i could give my surroundings a second look.

when he took them away, i was a little surprised. i wouldn't have taken yoongi as a flower kind of guy, not even for a girl on valentine's day. laid out all around me was an vast field with an abandoned farm house in the distance. the long grass tickled my ankles as the breeze carried away flakes of wheat along with my worry.

but the most most beautiful thing was yoongi's ear to ear smile as to spread his arms wide to make sure i took in the view. everywhere i looked i saw purple and white daisies scattered among the blades of grass. altogether, it was breathtaking.

there's nowhere he'd rather be than in that moment. forever.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

i wasn't sure which picture to use so i put both on here. isn't it just gorgeous?

welp, i j-hope ya'll enjoyed and that you didn't cry too much! :)

have a lovely day and stay safe! ||-//

~k.k