Chapter 1: Irritating a Chinese Lady from the restaurant kitchen staff 

This book is for all the PG prank calls which didn't fit into the chapters of How Boys Speak. Thanks for all the support. We'll be doing new pranks on here as well!

I phone to prank a girl called Gina, but a Chinese woman answers.

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*Rinnnng Rinnng*

Reece: Hope Gina picks up.

Some Chinese woman answers.

Chinese Woman: Herro.

Reece: Sup dawg. I was wondering if I could speak to Gina.

Chinese Woman: I ask wu calling?

Reece: This is Johnson.

Chinese Woman: Peece hold, sir!

Reece: Word.

*In the background this woman screams like a motherfudger for Gina. She's like GINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH GINAAAAAAAAAH! Where dis girl?* (HAHA)

Chinese Woman: Shee service a customer. May I take message? (Vote up for Gina who's "servicing her customer?)

Reece: Tell her that she left her vaginal cream at my house.

Chinese Woman: Du du du... Wat?

Reece: Never mind homedawg. I'll call back.

Chinese Woman: Okai!

I really and decide to call back.

*Ring Ring*

 I had this urge to prank that Chinese lady but that was not my mission! So I waited for like 30 minutes

Chinese Woman: Herro?

Reece: Yo man, homes. Is Gina here?

Chinese Woman: Oh yu call before, rhye? (Rhye is "right" if you didn't realize, I'm trying to type in her accent)

Reece: Yeah that was me.

Chinese Woman: Peece hold! (LOL, she sounds so cute)

Reece: HURRY UP! (The words in capitals, I SHOUT in a high pitched voice just to annoy her)

Chinese Woman: She till beezy! I take message?

I start to fool around with this lady since Gina was busy.

Reece: A LA LA LA LA LA! Wat?! (I just randomly scream this out a loud throughout the phone call)

Chinese Woman: I'm sowi, Sir?

Reece: I want to make an order! HURRY UP!

Chinese Woman: Okai, okai! What wood you like, Sir?

Reece: I want two orders of BOOBayla steak. (I made up that word)

Chinese: Sowi sir? Peece repeat again?

Reece: A LA LA LA LA LA! WAT? I want two orders of Boobayla steak.

Chinese Woman: We do not serve dat ere!

Reece: What? Everybody loves a juicy piece of Boobayla! Have you ever had it?

Chinese Woman: No sir.

Reece: Say it!

Chinese Woman: Say wat?

Reece: Say Boobayla!

Chinese Woman: Boob-bai-lay

Reece: Perfecto! What's your name, love?

Chinese Woman: Kaiyo

Reece: Kaiyo, the next time you see your manager I want you to tell him that this restaurant needs Boobayla, okay?

Chinese Woman: Okai sir. Is there anytin else you want to orda?

Reece: Uhmmm... hmmm. Do you have vag-lemein?

Chinese Woman: Wat sir? I no hear you?

Reece: A LA LA LA LA LA! Wat????

Chinese Woman: *Laughs* Sir, wat yoo talk about?

Reece: How can you not serve vag-lemein? I come home from work, I open up my fridge and I want a piece of vag-lemein.

Chinese Woman: Vag-lemeen?

Reece: A LA LA LA LA LA! You're saying it wrong. Vag-le-mine! Say it!

Chinese Woman: Du du du... (I wanted to burst out laughing at her random stuttering)

Reece: What du du du! Say itttttttt!                  

Chinese Woman: Sir I very busy! Peece order sumfin on menu!

Reece: You hurt my feelings.

Chinese Woman: Why sir?

Reece: A LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!! Is Gina free yet?

Chinese Woman: Uh du du du, no.

Reece: Hurry up!!!!!

Chinese Woman: For wat?

Reece: Go and see if she's busy!

*She actually listens and walks away and screams GINAAAAAAAAAAH foon call! GINAAAAAAH! Crazy boi phone you!*

Chinese Woman: I tell you shee beezy and you waste time.

Reece: HURRY UP! Take order now!

Chinese Woman: Your order sir?

Reece: A LA LA LA LA LA!

She calls the manager. I change from my random voice to a sophisticated voice now.

Manager: Hi there, Sir.

Reece: Hello. How are you?

Manager: Good, Sir. Can we help you with something?

Reece: Well I just wanted a couple of dishes but your restaurant doesn't serve it. I think that lady has a problem understanding me.

Manager: Oh, I'm really sorry. Is there anything else we could interest you in?

Reece: No, no. I'll have a look at the menu and call back in the evening.

Manager: Sure. Have a nice day.

Reece: Regards.

*I cut the call*

I phone back like 10 minutes later in hope that the Chinese woman would pick it up.

*Ring Riiing*

Chinese Woman: Herro.

Reece: A LA LA LA! You call the cops on me!

Chinese Woman: I not understand you before, Sir!

Reece: I thought we were friends!

Chinese Woman: Du du du...

Reece: A LA LA LA LA! No du du du here! (I don't know WTF I'm talking about)

Chinese Woman: Sir, you want to take order or not?

Reece: I want Boobayla! NOW!

Chinese Woman: I don't know how to moke it!

Reece: Cook it! Do it! Do it!

Chinese Woman: Du du du...

Reece: A LA LA LA LA LA! What's du du du? You sound crazy!

Chinese Woman: Sir you come here and order, okai?

Reece: A LA LA LA! Okay!

Chinese Woman: Okai, bye sir.

Reece: Okay! I love you!

Chinese Woman: *Laughs*

Reece: Say it! Say it back! You love me too?

Chinese Woman: No sir!

Reece: A L A LA LA! WAT?

*Dead line*

I call again just to annoy her.

Chinese Woman: Herro

Reece: Say Boobayla! Once you say it you'll remember what I'm talking about.

Chinese Woman: Boob-bai-lay

Reece: I can't hear! Scream it louder!

Chinese Woman: I no have time for diz!

Reece: Listen here, Willy! (I randomly give her a nick name)

Chinese Woman: Sir, peece! You waste tym!

Reece: Big willly! Bigggggggggggggg willy!

Chinese Woman: My name not Willy. (I had to hold my phone away because I couldn't stop laughing)

Reece: Say you love me too?

Chinese Woman: Sir, peece!

Reece: Say it!
Reece: Do it!
Reece: Biggggggg Willy.

*Dead line*

Reece: AAAAAAAH! Why did she cut it! I loved talking to her!

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I actually called them back the next day and ordered a proper take out. I also told the manager that Kaiyo was a brilliant and polite lady who had lots of patience which I admired! (LOL she was a good sport) <3

Anyway hope you enjoyed this! Please let me know if we should post more. Don't forget to comment, vote and fan if you enjoyed it!

Reece