First day of the trip.

Cole's head was spinning with how they could make this work. He didn't think it would be difficult to act like he was in love with Allison, because he knew part of him still did. But to act like they were still in love when he knew it wasn't the case... it hurt more than words could ever describe. It was an ache in his chest for something that he desperately longed for, but he couldn't get back. Something that was his that he lost long ago.

Their flight was in a few hours, and since it was international, they had to be there hours before. And since their mother was involved, add three more hours onto that. They were getting there so early that Cole wasn't even sure they'd let them into the airport that early. But he wasn't gonna be the one to tell Lorena that.

Cole's back ached a bit from another night on the couch. It had been a few days since he and Allison had decided to essentially fake date for his sister's wedding. Well, he supposed it was faking marriage. But then again, they weren't even officially divorced yet. He wasn't sure what this qualified as, but he knew they were faking something.

They had barely spoken at all in the last few days. He still hadn't touched the journal that their therapist had given them both. He had wondered if Allison started yet and what she was saying. He wanted to know where she was at so badly with everything. They stopped talking at some point and just never started again. He missed talking to her more than anything.

The light reflected off something from the corner of his eye, making him pause. He stretched his hand out, eyes locked on his wedding band unsurely. It felt unfair to still wear it, sometimes. When they were home, Allison hardly even bothered to wear it. At first, she chalked it up to not wanting to get it wet or dirty. But then eventually, it found a new home in her jewelry box and hardly left. Feeling a wave of hurt rush over him, he slowly slid the ring off his finger.

Cole wiggled his fingers, testing to see how it felt. His brain screamed at him. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. He felt bare, like he was missing part of his body. It felt like he was suddenly missing a limb. His body ached for it, and he ran the tip of his finger along the spot where it sat just moments go.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

But he ignored his thoughts, shoving his ring into his pocket without a second thought.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

The drive to the airport was silent. It was clear that Allison was trying to wrap her head around everything as well. Cole wasn't sure either of them had realized just how difficult this would be on the both of them. The mere thought of it was taking a toll on them both. But most of all, Cole had no idea how he was going to fool his family. The Alvarez family knew each other like the back of their hands. If someone blinked wrong, everyone jumped. He had to act normal, but Cole was an awful liar. He never liked lying, but he had to or this whole thing would fall apart. He just wanted to give his sister a good wedding. Scarlett deserved that much. Cole knew that if she found out, she wouldn't rest until everything was right again. And he didn't think she could fix this.

The three of them walked into the airport where they were meant to meet everyone else. Cole heard his family before he saw them. Sam and Scarlett's voices were so loud that he was surprised that security wasn't with them when he finally spot them. Cole let out a laugh when he saw what was going on. Scarlett stood next to who Cole presumed to be Nate. He couldn't see who it was definitively though, because a poofy bag that likely held Scarlett's wedding dress was entirely covering his face. Sam was ranting about something to his sister that Cole couldn't quite make out yet. He saw Lila and Lorena as well, immersed in their own conversation.

"If you think for a second that I trust them not to lose my wedding dress, you're wrong," Scarlett told her family fiercely. Nate nodded in agreement, or that was what Cole assumed he did. He could hardly see him over the giant bag that he assumed held Scarlett's wedding dress.

"Well, hello to you too," Cole greeted as he plastered a smile on his face. Allison raised an eyebrow in amusement at the scene in front of them, looking around for an explanation.

"Hi, honey," Lorena greeted them both, not lifting her head from the folder she had in front of her. He knew the folder well, they had used it on trips since they were children. Whenever they traveled, she always carried every possible piece of paper they could ever need on her. Somehow, they still always forgot something.

"Cole! Tell them I'm right," Scarlett ordered excitedly.

"That feels dangerous," he muttered teasingly.

His younger sister narrowed her eyes. "More dangerous to disagree. They want me to check my dress, which is basically asking me to go dress-less for the wedding."

"She's making Nate carry it around!" Sam cried out, gesturing to the boy who's face wasn't even visible.

"I really don't mind," Nate piped in, his face muffled from behind the bag.

Lila coughed, covering her mouth as she said, "Whipped."

"Lila," their mother scolded mindlessly, whipping through her papers to check they had everything.

"To be honest, this cost basically was the same price as the down payment on our house," Nate admitted with a grunt as he hoisted the dress up, getting a better grip on it. "So, I'm not too keen on losing it."

"So, you want her to be wearing some ugly dress from the lost and found when they inevitably lose the dress on the flight?" Allison countered, going to hug Scarlett.

"Thank you!" Scarlett gushed happily, hugging her tightly.

Lorena lifted her head up suddenly, eyes wide with alarm. She would go through waves of panic at the airport, and this seemed to be the first. "We should really get going through checking our bags and security if we wanna be on time. Apparently wedding dresses can take a while to go through TSA."

Sam groaned. "Just check it!"

Scarlett shot a glare in his direction over her shoulder. "No."

As expected, the dress caused quite the commotion. It was too big to go through the x-ray, which meant security had to check it by hand. Scarlett watched like a hawk as they inspected every area of the dress, making sure they didn't do anything to damage it. She let out sounds of discontent when they poked and prodded at it. Lorena stood with the two to make sure it went accordingly, frantically checking her watch to keep track of time. The rest of the family agreed to just go through security while she was held up with Nate who attempted to keep her calm during the process.

Lila had prepared everything in line while they waited in line, clearly judging her twin who sporadically threw everything into the bins like his life depended on it as the TSA agent watched in bewilderment. Sam's phone started to ring from his pocket and he jumped slightly, snapping his fingers as if recalling what he forgot to do. He got his phone out of his pocket and went to put it in the bin before remembering that it was ringing.

"I said everything out of your pockets," the TSA agent muttered dejectedly.

"Oh, I'm getting a call," Sam murmured as he stared at his screen, ignoring the TSA agent.

"Who's been trying to reach you all morning?" Lila asked skeptically as she took her shoes off.

"All items in the bins, please," the lady said pointedly to Sam, her eyes trailing down to the buckets on the belt.

"Sucks to be you, caller," Sam commented as he tossed his phone in the bucket and went on his way. Lila rolled her eyes, following him to the line to the x-ray.

Cole laughed as he shook his head, not even noticing that he set off the detector at the x-ray when he walked through. Sam noticed and cupped his hands around his mouth. Cole was sure he was about to scream something incredibly idiotic about the ordeal and his eyes widened in panic. Thankfully, Lila seemed to notice as well, ripping her brother's hands from his face and slamming her on hand against mouth before he could utter a word.

"Do you have anything in your pockets?" the TSA agent asked with raised eyebrows. He went to deny anything in his pockets before blanching. He winced, entirely forgetting that he stuffed his ring in his pocket this morning.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. Completely forgot..." he trailed off as he reached his hand in and pulled out the wedding band. He held it up, showing it to them.

The lady nodded at him to go through the x-ray again, seeming satisfied when it didn't go off again. She waved her hand and he stepped forward. She motioned for him to lift his arms, explaining she would need to pat him down. He wasn't paying attention though, because he turned his focus to Allison. He knew that she didn't wear her ring anymore when they were in the house, but he had always worn it. He was't sure what she would think if she knew. Maybe she wouldn't care. He was jolted out of his thoughts when he felt the lady begin to pat him down.

"Whoa there!" Sam shouted with a boyish grin, pointing a finger at the two. "He's a married man."

Hardly, Cole thought with a grimace. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Allison watching the scene with a look that Cole couldn't decipher on her face.

"Why was your ring in your pocket?" Lila asked in amusement as she got her things together, not realizing the significance around it.

"Was cleaning up some mess this morning, didn't wanna get anything in it," Cole dismissed with a wave of his hand. His youngest sister nodded slowly, looking at him carefully as if piecing something together in her head.

After about twenty minutes of them checking the dress at security, they were finally at their gate. Scarlett had complained that they got the dress dirty and was already searching ways on her phone to get it cleaned while they were in Aruba. They had a bit of time before the flight, sitting in the grimy seats as they waited. Allison was reading the book she brought, but Cole hadn't seen her flip a page in far too long. He just wanted to know what she was thinking, he couldn't take this anymore.

It felt strange, sitting next to Allison as if nothing was wrong. Cole thought they were doing a decent job so far, they could blame their lack of affection on being tired. But Cole knew they would have to up the charade when they landed in Italy. The two of them were always affectionate with one another, and his family knew that. It hurt already, knowing that everything going forward would be an act. Loving Allison was as easy as breathing for him, once upon a time. He still felt that in him, but he knew that she didn't anymore. And so, any love he had towards her now just hurt.

The notebook from their therapist felt heavy in his bag. It remained wordless, and he knew he would have to change that soon. He wondered if Allison had brought hers on the trip as well. He hoped she did, because maybe that meant that she wanted to try too. Part of him wanted to ask, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

Looking around at his family, he only felt a heavy weight on his chest. Everyone looked like they belonged here. The twins were bickering as they had since they were born. Scarlett and Nate were flipping through their wedding notebooks to double check their planning. Lorena watched them all with a fond expression on her face, acting as if she was reading her magazine whenever someone caught her staring. Their family had always just moved in sync. This all came easy to them. Maybe that was why he felt so out of place— Allison and Cole hadn't moved in sync in a long time.

"You all have your passports, yeah?" Lorena checked suddenly, closing her magazine as she sat up in alarm.

Sam turned his head towards her with a panicked expression. "No, was that important?"

"You're joking right?" their mother checked in a low voice, her eyes wide. This was another thing she kept doing. She would suddenly have a rush of panic around the trip, but Cole couldn't exactly blame her for that. Their family trips had never gone seamlessly. One of them always ended up biting someone's head off or even throwing someone's clothes off the balcony. Though, that was only one time, and Sam seemed embarrassed enough by it when he went to gather his twin's belongings.

"Just had to make sure you were listening," Sam assured her with a boyish grin before his phone ringing filled the air once more.

"Oh my god, Sam, just answer your phone," Lila finally snapped after the third missed call, hands stilled in front of her.

Sam swiped his thumb along the screen, huffing as he answered the call. "Dude, what?"

"Three months," Ashton spat at him angrily, not even bothering to say hello. Lila perked up at the sound of her boyfriend, who happened to be Sam's roommate at college. The twins were in their senior year of college now. They went only a short drive away from the other, able to see one another whenever they pleased.

"What? I've been gone for two days," Sam reminded him in confusion, narrowing his eyes at the screen.

"No, you pain in the ass, that's how long you've let me water a fake plant, Sam," Ashton ranted angrily, which made the other boy smile proudly. "You stood by and watched me water a fake plant for three months at our apartment."

"To be fair, I thought it was alive for the first week."

"The first week—" Ashton gritted out between his teeth.

"Say hi to Lila," Sam sang out, frantically handing the phone his sister who took it happily.

"Hi," she greeted happily, smiling at the screen.

But he would not be deferred. He narrowed his eyes and asked, "You've visited, did you know it was fake?"

Lila seemed to debate answering before going with, "Say hi to my mom!"

Cole let out a laugh as they passed the phone around until Ashton just got fed up enough to hang up. The twins had been with both their significant others since high school now. Lila had started to date Ashton when she joined the football team as a kicker her senior year. Sam had loved his current boyfriend, Charlie, since they were children. He only mustered the courage to tell him when he joined the school play his senior year as a ploy to get closer with Charlie. They would both be flying in two days before the wedding, which was about a week from now. The rest of Scarlett's bridal party would be flying in then as well, which consisted of her friend's from college, Maeve, Aster, and June.

The family trip before the wedding seemed like a good idea at first.

But that was then.

"When is Matthew flying in?" Scarlett asked their mother curiously. Cole tried to see even a flicker of disdain on his sister's face so that he could feel less alone in his thoughts, but he found nothing. She seemed fine, happy with it even.

Despite everything, Allison reached over and rested her hand over Cole's. Or maybe it was just for show, either way, Cole needed it. Matthew was their mother's boyfriend. It was recent that she told them. Everyone seemed happy for her, and Cole really tried to be. He wasn't even sure they'd last. He wanted his mother to be happy, but it was hard. Sometimes he would see them laughing and for a split second he would sometimes forget it wasn't his Dad. It all felt wrong.

"Same day as everyone else," Lorena told her in a tone that still held some reservations. She had to know that this was a bit strange for everyone. Everyone wanted her to be happy, but it wasn't as easy as that.

"I think it's great that he could come," Scarlett assured her earnestly, squeezing her mother's hand with a smile.

"Especially if he brings a gift," Nate added jokingly.

Oh, right. There was also the fact that this man had more money than he would ever need. Cole hated him even more for that. Lorena had never been the type of person to want to live a lavish life. She was happy with their Dad and all that he could provide. Cole didn't understand why she would want anything more than that.

But instead of letting any of that show, Cole smiled at his mother, and tried to force himself to be happy for her.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

The beginning of the plane ride was as uneventful as you could hope for. Allison was asleep in the window seat while Cole was on the aisle. They paid a bit more to get more space for the flight with only two seats in the row, but it hardly felt like they had more space right now. They had only been in the air for around an hour now, and had a ways to go. It was a smooth ride so far, and he hoped it would stay that way so that Allison could just sleep through the flight. He heard her walking around late last night and he knew she didn't get much sleep, not that he did either.

Cole tapped his pen against the arm rest, glancing at the woman sleeping next to him unsurely. Allison looked at ease— she never did anymore. He hated the idea that he caused her so much stress that the only time she looked at peace was in her sleep. He let out a heavy sigh, feeling something pull at his heart. He never wanted this. He had to try to make things right. This was their final attempt to fix things before they signed the papers. He had to try.

He flipped open the notebook and started writing.