Part 3 of "At the Door"...

"Harder! Come on now!" He shouted at me. I felt the sweat trickle down my forehead as I gasped for breath. I couldn't. Didn't he realise that I just couldn't? I felt my leg buckling beneath me slightly and my blood ran cold.

"I can't!" I huffed at him. He shook his head wildly.

"You can! Come on! Harder for me!" He cried. My fists tightened but I felt my leg buckle again and I slammed my hand down on the red stop button. My sweat trickled into my eyes so I couldn't see the disappointment on his face anymore as he watched my run come to an end. I stepped off the machine and watched as the belt slowed to a stop.

"I can't. I was going to fall. I felt my leg giving out." I wiped the sweat from my brow and felt my leg still wobbling beneath me precariously. I limped to a chair and sat down heavily.

"Alright. I believe you. I just don't want to see you give up." He replied as he walked over to me. I got angry at the words, looking up suddenly at his wan face and thin body.

"Why not? You have." I said harshly. He looked surprised. There was a lengthy pause as he stared me down.

"What?" He breathed. I blinked and gave him an obvious once-over with a raised brow. He looked away guiltily.

"Everyone can see it. Your mother is worried too. You can't expect us all to ignore it. If you want your patients to try, then you have to be a good example to them." I looked up at him pleadingly. He blushed and nodded slightly.

"You are right. I need to try harder too. I'm sorry. If I promise to do better, will you promise me too?" He stared me down and I smiled. I stuck out my hand and he grasped it to shake on it. I pulled myself up to stand, despite the pain, and heard a slight gasp as my sweaty body bumped him a bit.

"It's a promise then. I'll try. Sorry. I got you all sweaty." I grinned at him and watched with interest as his face lit up bright red to the tips of his ears.

"It's alright." He mumbled. I wandered over to the weights and got in a bunch of sets while my leg rested. He wandered to another patient working on a machine for her shoulder and they chatted while the woman did her exercises. I growled a little to myself at her obvious flirting. It was my own fault for coming in here to do my training and rehab.

I finished my workout for the day, exchanging glances the whole time with Aaron as he helped others to overcome their personal barriers. He looked so fragile these days. I was worried like the rest of his friends and family. Was he eating enough? Did he sleep at all? It sure didn't look like it. It looked like a strong breeze was going to blow that little angel away any day now.

I found myself thinking that I didn't want that. I wanted him to stay right where he was. Here. With me. I couldn't meet his eyes as I left today, my mind in a strange place as it was. I felt like the promise we made to each other was more than just a promise to try. It was a promise to move forward. It was a promise for the future for both of us.

When I walked into my dingy apartment a little later, I looked at the stained wallpaper in silent contemplation. Why was I still here? I might've gone home if I had half a mind. They may have been ignorant pricks back home, but they were family. I knew they would welcome me there with open arms if I asked them to. But I didn't, and I didn't want to.

I wasn't the same man who left those years back. I couldn't just close my eyes and ears to what was going on around me. I couldn't stop the dreams, the shakes, the changes in my very soul. Those were things I would carry with me all my life. I didn't want to share them with those bastards. They would call me a pussy and take it as their due that I should follow in line again.

I wouldn't. I couldn't anymore. I ate my meal alone here, knowing that forward was the only direction left for me. I would keep moving towards my goals because they would keep me alive. I would go after what I wanted. Which was... what did I want? I stalled for a second at the thought, surprised that Aaron popped into my head like rains in sunshine. I crawled into bed with that strange feeling weighing on my chest again.

"Wake up. Ben. Wake up." I heard the familiar voice next to my bed and my blood ran cold when my eyes finally opened. It was him. I mean, Aaron said he saw him... but Jesus almighty it was enough to give even a soldier a fright. I couldn't speak, just stared at him like he was... well what he was. A ghost. He grinned at me and I blinked nervously.

"What are you doing Ben?" He asked me with that tilt of his head and raised brow. I gaped and looked around the dark room.

"What does it look like I'm doing, Duke? I'm sleeping." I shot back uncertainly. He shook his head at me and waggled his finger.

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it. Do you love him?" He watched me with sad serious eyes and I couldn't hold his gaze. That was a question if ever I heard one. Did I love him? I thought back to our gentle teasing, his soft voice and sad eyes, and the way I wanted to stick around so badly. I shrugged at him and hesitantly replied.

"I dunno Duke. I might just. I don't want step on any toes though." I scratched the back of my head. Duke smiled at me and I dropped my eyes sheepishly.

"It's alright. I think you'll find my toes can take it. I just want him to be happy. Can you make him happy, Ben?" He seemed to sigh without breathing as I ran the question over in my head. Could I? Was it possible that I could make Aaron happy?

"I dunno Duke. I'll try." The words echoed from this afternoon and I felt a sense of déjà vu so strong I almost couldn't breathe. I saw Duke stand up and walk to the window, looking out the dingy glass into the street below. He glanced back at me with a slight nod and started to fade.

"Then try already."

My alarm blared and I jolted awake with a cold sweat on my brow. My hand was shaking as I reached over to shut it off. I looked around the room, not sure what to expect. It felt like it shouldn't look and feel so normal after what I had experienced. I got dressed, ate my breakfast, and everything seemed too mundane for such a momentous day.

He was right. Ghost or dream, it was a sign from the Lord above that I was simply dithering about this whole thing. What was I afraid of? Falling? Maybe that wasn't so scary a thing anymore when compared to not succeeding because I didn't try. Maybe a part of me was still stuck back home as a little boy and I needed to cut it loose. Realise that you didn't fight some battles just to win, you fought them because you should.

I should have figured that out by now. I left my apartment with a bag over my shoulder and a grin. I spent my morning at my desk feeling more uplifted there than I had since I started. Being there meant being close to him and starting something new. I could find a new purpose for myself and all I had to do was let myself be the best I could at what I was able to do now.

I was smart. I was determined. I had a job and friends. I had my life... and I was expected to live it regardless of what had already happened. I could be stronger than I knew if I just wanted it enough and pushed hard enough. I could get through today, tomorrow, and the day after. When it was time to leave I did so with a bounce in my step. I was going to see Aaron and prove to him that I was trying.

"Hey." He smiled gently to me and I grinned at him with confidence.

"Hey back. You ready to beat my record?" I rubbed my hands together in anticipation as he looked on cautiously. I checked my clothes, my straps and took a sip of water on my way over to the machine. I stared it down determinedly. I stepped on and set the program up for my next go at it. It started slowly, Aaron watching over me with a bit of an anxious look.

"Don't push yourself too hard. You were just here yesterday." He warned me. I smiled and nodded.

"I know. I couldn't wait to see you again." My words were even and that blush infused his cheeks to make them glow prettily under the lights.

"You... I thought you didn't like it when I pushed you..." He stuttered uncertainly. I laughed a little breathlessly as the pace sped up a bit more.

"If I didn't like it, I wouldn't still be here now would I?" I glanced over at him and he couldn't meet my eyes. He stared down at that damn clipboard of his, jotting down my times and speed. I saw him gulp though and I suppose it gave me hope. I concentrated on keeping my pace just right as I ran on my athletic leg prosthetic. It had taken a bit to get used to it, but I was doing so much better than when we had first met.

The speed picked up again and he watched me closely without saying a word. My breathing was hard to regulate as I struggled to keep up with the treadmill. I felt the minutes tick by and watched out of the corner of my eye as Aaron's brows lowered and his concentration focused solely on me running. I felt my leg twitch a bit and my brain was going off with alarm bells at the first sign of weakness. I didn't stop.

I felt my good leg buckle a bit and struggled to keep steady so I could continue. Aaron looked at my time and watched me in alarm as I puffed closer and closer to my last moment of failure. I would show him though. I wasn't about to give up. I felt my leg buckle a little again and I huffed in my frustration to keep myself up. I could hear him mutter in some alarm and I knew he had seen my leg wobble.

"Ben! You need to stop. You are going to fall." He said to me. I smiled a bit at the words. They were how I was feeling for the past year or more. I didn't want to listen to them anymore. I kept running.

"You are right.... I might fall... but I might... just... succeed." I panted between harsh breaths. Just a little bit longer. Just a little bit more. I felt my leg give out entirely and I braced myself as I felt my body falling onto the track to be spit out the back onto the floor. The emergency stop kicked on and the treadmill came to a standstill as Aaron rushed over to my bruised body laying on the floor.

"You idiot! I told you that you would fall." He smacked my shoulder as I laid back on the floor, laughing while I tried to catch my breath.

"It's alright. I don't mind falling." I stared up at him seriously and his cheeks flamed in response.

"Doesn't it hurt though?" He reached out to the bruise that was forming on my knee and I shivered as he gently patted my leg. Why didn't I notice before the reason I was so uncomfortable with his closeness? It was because he made my heart race something crazy.

"Sure, but it is worth it. Doncha think?" I grinned at him like a little kid that got a treat and he looked thoughtful. He looked down at his clipboard and nodded minutely.

"I suppose. Let's see how you did then." He got up, leaving me panting on the floor to write down the numbers. I saw him furrow his brows and check a second time. I wasn't worried. I knew you see. I had put every bit of strength into that run.

"So? What's the verdict boss?" I called out to him. He came over and sat next to me shaking his head.

"You blew your scores from yesterday away. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes." He looked at me incredulously. I beamed back at him.

"Amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it, huh? How about you and I go out tonight to celebrate? What do you say?" I licked my lips as his mouth dropped open. He looked like a rather adorable gaping fish as I waited for a reply. I raised a brow and he jogged out of it.

"Uh, sure? I mean, yes. I would like that. What time?" He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear nervously and I looked down at my sweaty, bruised body.

"Give me a couple hours to ice and clean up. I'll pick you up around six?" I looked back up at him with a rueful smile. He smiled back sweetly.

"Six it is." He stood up and offered me a hand up. I took it, this time standing too close on purpose for longer than just a second and staring into his wide eyes with a serious smile.

"Wear something nice for our date." I breathed to him. Then I sauntered away to the showers to change.