In Wooyoung's room

San threw himself drunkenly onto Wooyoung's bed. Wooyoung sat down at a distance on the edge of the bed and looked at San. He grinned slightly at Wooyoung.  "Cuddling?"

"Sure," Wooyoung breathed and lay down next to San. San immediately wrapped his arms around Wooyoung and cuddled up to him. A little overwhelmed, Wooyoung tried to relax, but it didn't quite work. San buried his face in Wooyoung's neck and gently kissed him.

"Sannie," Wooyoung gasped and closed his eyes.  "What are you doing?"

"Kissing you," he giggled and kissed him from his neck up to his cheek. Wooyoung started to sweat and slipped away nervously. San sat up in confusion and drunkenly fixed his hair.

"What's wrong, Jagiya?"

"Why are you doing this?" whispered Wooyoung, biting his lip.  "I thought you liked Yoohyeon?"

"I like her though. She's nice. And pretty and funny too. But I can't imagine doing anything sexual with her," San slurred and stroked Wooyoung's shoulder.

"W-why not?"

"Well, I don't know her well enough yet. I just want to do it with someone I trust and love."

Does that mean he loves me? Or does he just mean sex and not the other things, like kissing? I just can't figure him out. And yet I've fallen in love with him. I would do anything, even if it hurt me. Why is love so painful?

Before he knew it, the first tear rolled down his cheek.

"Oh, Young-ah. Why are you crying?" San asked worriedly, brushing the tear from his face.

"S-sannie, I don't want this anymore..."

"What?" San took Wooyoung in his arms and stroked the younger boy.

"My feelings. I hate them," Wooyoung cried and was comforted by San, who rested his head on Wooyoung's shoulder.

"You shouldn't. They are a part of you. They make you who you are. And you're great the way you are," San breathed and Wooyoung leaned back into San's backhug.

"I'm not great. These feelings are destroying everything."

"How about you let your feelings run wild tonight. Just let it all out. Whether it's crying or laughing or whatever's on your mind. I won't judge you for anything. I'm here for you. Always," San whispered and closed his eyes. He opened them as soon as Wooyoung moved away.

"What's wrong?"

Wooyoung simply breathed in and out deeply. Closed his eyes and slowly leaned forward towards San.

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