A couple of you may be saying, but Krazydiamond, your profile is full of monsters, madness, and mayhem, what the frack do you know about writing romance.

An excellent question dear reader. 

I enjoy experimenting in many genres but romance has always given me a bit of trouble. It seems simple enough. One body meets another body. There are internal fizzies and sparks. They do the horizontal Carlton. Happily ever after ensues. 

I don't know what it is. Something about the whole business feels rather daunting, but I am making strides to conquer the genre and here is what I found works for me! 

1. Stuck writing an intimate moment? Spice it up with dinosaur noises in place of the same old sexual terminology. 

Ex: Randolph ran his fingers up her silky thighs. "Yes," cried Miranda, "please, put your fingers into my *Velociraptor screeching*" 

2. Contemporary romance is hard. Specially the dialogue. You really need to pay attention to what your characters are saying. Absolutely under no circumstances should you attempt to write romantic dialogue at 2 in the morning after two glasses of wine. This is how you open the way to Cthulhu's chaotic realm. 

3.  If the story simply isn't working for you, roll with your strengths. When I get stuck, I chuck random creature features into the mix until something sticks. 

For real though, I'm in the process of writing a romance novella and it has taken all my willpower not to toss a zombie outbreak in the mix. Is it cheating to write a monster infested dream sequence? Maybe, but you could also totally play it off on symbolism. Yes symbolism, people love symbolism. Or is that emojis.... 

4. Remember to enjoy what you write. It doesn't matter if you write romance, horror, sci fi, or chick-lit. Write it because you love it. And experimenting with different genres will teach you a lot about your personal style. 

Go forth and *pterodactyl noises*!!