Your pov:
Today's the day i take the test I'm really excited!

I take the test and run into the bathroom peed on the stick and waited.
After waiting i pick the stick up off the sink and read it!

Negative.

Maybe that was a defective one.

I take another one.

Negative.

Third times a charm?

Another one.

Negative.
============

Jared and i continued to try but with no luck.
I went to the doctors they say they don't understand what's wrong.

Jared and i drove home after going to the doctors the car ride is silent i stare out of the window.

What's wrong with me?

"(Y/n) its ok if we keep on trying you're bound to get pregnant."

"Jared what if....I'm not supposed to have a child?" I say at the verge of tears.

"Hey hey don't say that we are gonna have a baby we just have to keep trying baby. Don't lose hope yet its just the beginning."

I lean on his shoulder.

===================
I'm taking one last test.

Positive

Oh my god!!!!!
I'm pregnant! I run into the room and wrap my arms around Jared.

"Are you?" He asked.

I nodded excitedly.

"Oh my gosh!!" He hugged me again. "I told you baby it was bound to happen!!"he knelt to my stomach lifted my shirt and kissed my stomach. I cried tears of joy.

2 months later....

Jared and i are asleep in bed peacefully with our little unborn child Jacob. I really think its a boy. Jared think its a girl though.

Out of no where i hear something fall downstairs. I jump.

"Jared?" I shake him lightly.

"What?"

"I think somebody is downstairs." I say scared.

"Stay here baby."

"Jared no what if they have a gun."

"Call 911." He left.

I grabbed Jared's phone and dialed 911.

"911 what your emergency?"

"Somebody's in our house." I say scared.

Out of no where i hear screaming. I run downstairs to see a teenager with a gun in his shakey hands he pointed at me.

"Don't move! i will take what i want and leave or your lady gets shot!"

"Alright take what you want j-just please don't shoot her!" Jared pleaded.

The teen took his bag and hurried to the living room i rushed to Jared and i heard a shot fire, screaming and i felt a pain in my stomach. I looked down and i was bleeding. I almost fell to the ground but Jared caught me.

"I-I'm sorry i didn't mean to!!" The teenager yelled. He dropped everything he had and ran.

"Oh my god hold on baby I'm gonna get you to the hospital!!" Jared said. He picked me up the pain in my stomach worsened i cried.

Jacob please be ok.

=================
I just go out of the hospital and paparazzi crowds me as Jared and i push our way to our car.

"Back up!" Jared defensively yells.

I keep my head down and my shades on to keep everyone from seeing the tears.

The kid had been caught but

The baby was lost.

Jared opens the door for me. I quickly get in he gets in on the driver side and we drive off.

"(Y/n)....i know this is hard but i don't want us to become distant because of this." Jared said.

"Its like i cant have a baby!!!!!I'm just not meant to be a mom!!" I say crying.
He pulls over and cuddles me. I cry into his shoulder. I could feel a couple of his tears on my hair.

"We're gonna have a baby you are capable and when you are pregnant I'm gonna guard you and the baby with my life this will NOT happen again i promise!" Jared said with a shakey voice.

========

Today Jared and i were supposed to have the kids for the day.

Jared's pov:

Its been a few weeks since we've lost the baby. She hasn't been taking it well.
Around people she's herself but at home she's quiet doesn't eat much. She doesn't even sleep in my arms like she used to.
When i ask her if she's ok she smiles and says I'm fine but i can tell she's lying to me.
Its been a while since we've seen the kids i feel like (y/n)'s gonna take it harder with them around so we are only keeping them for today.

Your pov:
We pick up the kids and take them to the house.

"Who ready for spaghetti taco night?!" I say excitedly.

"Me!!" Jared and the kids say. They rush to the table from the living room.

They all sit down and eat.
I go to the sink and wash the pots and utensils i used to cook.

"Mommy?" Shep said

"Hmm?" I reply

"Hows the baby?"

"Uhm" i felt a lump in my throat

How do you explain to a 5 year old that the baby.....is dead?

"Um the Angels decided the baby wasn't ready to be born yet so they took the baby back to heaven where all babies come from." I say smiling.

"Oh ok." Shep said sadly.

I went back to washing dishes.

I felt tear threaten to fall.

I didn't want to cry in front of the kids. But i cried anyway. I covered my mouth to keep them from know.

"Mom are you ok?" Tom asked.

I wiped my tears I turn from the kitchen sink and walk over to him and crouch to his level.

"I'm fine Tommy." I say smiling.

He smiled back.

I hug him and kiss his forehead.

Hugging him somehow made me feel better.

After that Jared and i took the kids home then went home ourselves.

This place doesn't feel like home anymore.

"(Y/n) what the hell is this?!" He yelled holding up my journal i kept under the bed.

"Give that back." I say grabbing for it.

"No what is this?!"

"Dammit Jared give it back!" I say crying he wraps his hands around my waist.

"Why cant you tell me any of this?I'm your husband (y/n) I'm supposed to be  the one person you can talk to about anything!"

"Because i don't want to be a burden on you you have to work so hard while i just stay home and wallow in my misery."

"But you don't have to. Baby i lost that baby to i cried with you."

"But we shouldn't have." I say crying.

"What?"

"The baby was in my stomach. Jared it was my responsibility. Its my fault!"

"No its not! Your fault it was that kids fault the blood is on his hands not yours look at me."

I refused.

"Please!"

I looked at him.

"We didn't know he was gonna break in that night with a gun. (Y/n) you were scared it was his fault he fired at you!" He said caressing my cheeks. "You are beautiful, amazing,caring,sweet, funny and you will be an amazing mother one day. So please dont call yourself stupid, ugly, worthless, useless like you did in that journal. Cause its not true you make me a better man you are my world." He kissed my sweetly.before we knew it we were on the bed.
~~~after sex because there has been enough smut for this book.~~~~~
Jared kissed me one last time. "I love you very much."

I smile and caress his cheek. "I love you too."  I got up and grabbed the journal.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to go burn this it means nothing now." I say smiling. A true smile.

======= 1 month later.
Lately I've been feeling really sick in the morning and my back hurts i freaking hate it! But today.....Today i was going back on to the spn set for a flashback Jared is happy because it'll be the first time I've acted since we lost the baby.

We drive on set and the first place Jared takes me is his trailer.

"Jared what are you doing?" I asked.

"You'll see." He kisses my neck i giggle.

"Jared!"

"What?" He lifted me up and placed me on the couch and (fucks me senseless!! Just kidding) places sweet kisses all over me.
We make-out for second then his phone rings.

"Ugh don't they know I'm busy with my wife?" He says nibbling at my neck
I giggle some more and then he finally answers the phone.

"Hello?..yea she is......ok ill tell her." He ended the call. "You are wanted in the make up trailer let me walk you over since they changed the location since you've left." He pulled me up and actually carried me to the trailer.

Once we arrived he spun me around and placed me on the ground. "See you on set." He says before kissing me and jogging off.

I see Lexi from the make up department smiling at me.

"What?" I say giggling.

"I ain't saying nothing but get your gorgeous tale in this trailer!" She says.

I giggle and go inside.

She did my make up and i seen somebody eating a burger and i was puking every 0 minutes. But eventually i made it through. i put on my clothes or i tried to.

"Lexi!!"

"Yes hun bun!"

"My bra wont fit are you sure this is my size?"

"Yea but you probably need a new one hold on baby cake let me get you a new one."
She rushed and got me a bra a size bigger. It didn't fit then she tried to get me a new one that one didn't fit. She finally got one that fit.

"Jeezus girly yours rack has grown x4 since you've been here did you get surgery done?"

"No!"

"Well today might not be your day you've been puking. Your bra wont fit i gue- oh.never mind."

"What?"

"You'll figure it out hun in the mean time they need you on set!!"