Evan wasn't shocked, no, he was purely terrified. He wasn't fidgeting anymore. He was as still as a stone.

I basically just told the Murphys that it was a lie.

That... was really dumb, wasn't it?

That was really dumb.

That was extremely dumb.

That was possibly the worst thing I could've said in that moment.

That was possibly the worst thing I have ever said in any moment.

I am a dumbass.

Welp, goodbye life. Goodbye sun, goodbye graduation, goodbye reputation, goodbye clean record, goodbye friends-

"What... are you talking about?" Zoe was the first to speak. "You... you guys were his best friends... his only friends."

What was I supposed to do?

I should've never joined this big fat lie. All I wanted to do was spice up my life a little, and, oh boy, did I?

Should I just continue? Spill it all out?

Turn it into a metaphor?

Let Evan do the talking?

(That last option seemed very appealing.)

"Evan..." Mrs. Murphy started calmly, "say something."

"I-" And once again, Evan physically could not speak. He just sat, speechless, facing Alana and the Murphys.

I couldn't just say nothing!

"Evan wrote the suicide note-"

"Who the fuck-" Zoe started, but I cut her off.

"I know! That's what I said!" I blurted, with the tiniest of smiles on my face to try to bring some humor to this conversation, "Like 'what is this, some sex thing?'"

"Jared." Alana said, pausing, "Just... talk." It sounded like a demand coming from Alana, not gonna lie.

I inhaled before speaking, "Evan wrote it for an assignment, and somehow Connor got a hold of it. He must've had it when he died."

Mrs. Murphy, "So are you saying...-"

"Yes, it wasn't Connor's suicide note at all."

Evan was trembling. Crying, no doubt. But I was the strong one here, I couldn't risk looking at him and crying, too. I did, though, manage to grab his hand. That seemed to calm him down.

"When you guys thought they were friends... I recommend he play along, as to not disappoint." I admitted, "I didn't think there was any way he could come over and just... admit the truth! You guys would surely think he was crazy!"

Silence.

Evan sniffed.

"I wrote the emails."

Zoe gasped.

"My idea. All of it."

Alana narrowed her eyes at me.

"Evan was trying to keep you guys happy." I said, starting to feel tears well up in my own eyes. This was really happening. We really did this, and now we're paying the very real price. "And I was trying to earn an easy buck."

Was I leaving anything important out? Did they need to know every detail? That was the jist of it, right? Evan was trying to help and I... helped him? I don't know, it's all jumbled now.

"Did..." Alana was the first one to speak up. She was also the only one not in tears, but rather a red, angry face. Her anger was not reflected in her voice, "Did Connor even die?"

I started to say something, but Evan cut me off, "I think so."

"Either that or he ran away like the psychopath he is, amiright?" I said, once again trying to bring humor into the conversation.

It did not work.

No one denied it, though.

Mr. Murphy hugged Mrs. Murphy, who was bawling at this point. Zoe just sat and stared at us. Alana did the exact opposite, she couldn't stand to look at us.

"I'm so sorry." Both Evan and I said at the same time.

Guess who was crying now? That's right, Jared Kleinman.

Zoe turned away and joined her parents in the hug.

I sorta expected Alana to join them, but to my surprise, she started heading towards us.

"Oh boy, oh boy." I whispered to Evan, "Get ready for a stern talking-to."

Evan took a deep breath as Alana approached.

She smiled.

What?

A smile?

"You guys really had me fooled." And that's all she said before bringing the two of us into a big hug.

I'm... so confused.

But Evan latched on immediately, the water works doing their thing. He was probably soaking Alana's cardigan. She seemed fine with it.

I slowly and unsurely wrapped my arms back around the other two.

Alana squeezed tighter, and that's when I noticed that she was crying. I couldn't hear it, but my eyes couldn't have been deceiving me.

The 3 of us just stayed like that, in a long, warm hug. Zoe and her parents on the other side of the room no doubt doing the same thing.

Though I was a bit confused at first, Alana's hug did start to make me feel a little better.

She pulled away eventually and made her way to the door. "I'll be going now," She said, her voice as optimistic as always, "Sorry I couldn't stay. See y'all Monday." And she left.

"What the hell?" I heard Evan mumble. Okay, so he is as confused as me.

"I think you two should go to." Mr. Murphy said sternly.

"I was just thinking that." I said normally, standing and helping Evan up.

"Thanks for everything." Evan said quietly to the Murphys before we walked out the door.

We walked back towards the direction of Evan's house in silence. What was there to say?

We were about a forth of a mile away from the Murphy's when I decided to break the silence, "So-"

That was all I got to say, because then Evan suddenly stopped walking and quickly sat on the grass, starting to cry.

"Woah!" I said, basically diving down to wrap him in an embrace.

He wasn't just sobbing anymore, he was ugly-crying.

I kept my arms around him and squeezed tighter. "You're fine, Evan. We're fine." I whispered into his ear. Not sure if he could hear me through all of the crying, but I was trying here, okay?

And I knew the truth. We were not fine. We're gonna get put into jail for fraud and our parents will disown us and we'll never graduate with a clean record. That was the truth, wasn't it?

But it's not really Evan's fault at all. I'll testify that when we go to court. It wasn't his idea to tell a lie at all. It was mine.

And I was the one who ratted us out, too.

"You didn't do anything wrong." I said reassuringly, making sure to put emphasis on the anything.

Evan wrapped his arms around me and held me as tightly as he did in Alana's hug.

His voice was very watery, and hard to understand, but he spoke, "Thank you..."

"Don't thank me." I said quietly, "I-"

"No!" Evan said, breaking the hug, "No, thank you for..- thank you for telling them."

I stared at him confused. "Evan," I said sternly, but at the same time softly, somehow, "That is not something you should thank me for."

"But- but you knew how long I wanted to- to do it. T-to tell them." He sniffed in between words, tears still flowing, "I just... couldn't."

I nodded slowly, understanding what he was talking about.

Now's not the best time to bring up the fact that we're about to be pressed with legal charges, anyway.

I looked up at the sky and then stood up. "We should get home, though."

Evan nodded and stood up, too, brushing off some blades of grass that got on his pants. "Sure. And Jared?"

"Hm?"

Evan shook his head before looking back in the direction we cane and saying, "I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but I really do love you."

I smirked and nodded. I feel like, deep down, Evan knew I would never get tired of hearing that, which is exactly why he says it so much.

I haven't told Evan a truth in a long time. He's probably tired of hearing lies.

"I love you, too."

--

guys it's gay.
so uh talk about slow-burn, right?
chapter 32 and jared finally admits the gay™
character !
development !

(yeah the book's coming to a close)

Published: 4/9/20
Word Count: 1367