
Chapter 25: "Can't Go Back"
Charlie's P.O.V
"Alright! Attack!"
Springbonnie shot a Shadow Blast three times at the three cardboard cutouts, managing to knock all of them off the boxes they were standing on. "Good work on hitting all three," congratulated Freddy. "Finally. Had to spend this long just for her to hit all three damn targets, instead of just saying she no more chances," said Bon Bon. "Everyone has to be prepared to fight, and that means to Freddy nobody will be forgotten," responded Mangle. "Would make things go faster if we abandoned those who aren't ready. Freddy did that to us himself," said Bon Bon. "But he came back. Didn't he?" asked Mangle in response. "Yeah! When the damage was already done!" exclaimed Bon Bon irritated. "Seems like to me you rely on him, too much," she responded. "I do not rely on someone who can't rely on their own self!" yelled Bon Bon.
Everyone turned to him from his sudden outburst, still facing Mangle with a face as to tell her to back off as she held the face of someone who would not back down. I had admired her for her determination of being a true leader, one even I wish I had the strength to fully be at times.
"Are we done for tonight or not!" he exclaimed turning to Freddy. "You're all dismissed, unless you got something to say to me," he said staring at Bon Bon. "Figure it out yourself," he responded walking away from all of us and towards the door. "I need some damn sleep after all that!" expressed Helpy while yawning. "We should probably go ahead and do that then. We'll continue things tomorrow night, because it'll be a long one," instructed Freddy. "Better make sure the house is locked then, I'm not going to be the one hassled at for forgetting to lock the garage door," noted Helpy.
Just him mentioning my father made me realize I had promised to talk with him, not because I didn't want to chat with him but the dread and pain of what we would have to talk about. Though I had to get through to accept how the rest of my life would go until the end.
"I call couch again then!" exclaimed Springbonnie as she and Bonnie walked on over to the garage door. "No point when we're the only one's who use them," said Bonnie. "Ah, but you never know when someone like Helpy might decide to want to sleep on it for once." said Springbonnie. "Like I need to sleep on a couch covered in Cheetos dust when I have an actually comfy bed to sleep on," responded Helpy. "Then you wouldn't consider... you know? Letting someone use it for one night?" asked Springbonnie. "I'll think about it," responded Helpy. "You could get a chance to sleep on a comfy bed," said Springbonnie to Bonnie. "I think I'll stick with the couch," he responded as they both entered the house through the door. "I think I'll get ready for the night as well," announced Michael. "You better if you want to regain that strength you lost today," said Mangle to him. "I could say the same for you," he responded. "Don't worry about me I'll gain my strength back in time. And I trust Bonnie with my position for the time-being. You just better still be here before I'm back in my prime," she responded. "I'm not dying anytime soon, not as long as my father lives... " he responded as he planted a kiss on her cheek. "And I'll make sure that kiss won't be the last one." "Go get some sleep already," Mangle responded. Michael smiled back in response as he walked over towards the garage door, though not before saying his farewell for the night. "You make sure you train hard yourself. You're just as important as all of us remember?" he said to Freddy. "Don't you worry, I'm striving to be prepared for when we finally face my father by the end of this week. It's a lot of effort to learn all my powers by then but it's for the greater good," he responded as he held out his hand that was formed into a fist. "I'm at your side until the very end." Michael stared at him for a moment before walking over and fist bumping him. "Can't go back now can we?" said Michael. "I already decided that I'm not turning back from this," responded Freddy with a smile. "Heh. Same here," he responded as he walked away now, while Foxy made her way towards Freddy. "Are you going to bed?" she asked approaching him. "Yeah, once I'm finished putting this stuff away for tonight," he responded looking at the sheets and whiteboard. "See you when you're done then," she responded before planting a kiss on his cheek. "Goodnight."
She walked away and towards the door, leaving me and the others by ourselves now. "Thinking, huh?" said Helpy to me as he walked past me. "About things, yes," I responded. "You don't talk much do you?" he noted as he turned towards Freddy. "Ain't that like how Foxy used to be?" "If Charlie wishes to keep to herself, then let her be," Freddy said in response. "Guess you're already contradicting yourself from earlier," responded Helpy. "Both are different people, especially Charlie. She's gone through a lot through her life, some that is partly responsible for the way she is now. You can't change her for all the hell she's been through," said Mangle.
I was glad Mangle had spoken out for the way I am, but hearing Helpy's words made me wish I wasn't the way I certainty was. That wasn't going to change either.
"You gonna talk to your father before we all go to bed?" asked Freddy. My mind already raced to the feeling of talking to him, but knowing it had to happened tonight. I couldn't push it back or delay it. "Yes. I will," I responded. "By the way, we'll set up a place for you to sleep at. I'll grab a pillow and sheets from the closet for you and you can decide where to sleep at," mentioned Freddy. The words he said pained me inside as I had to respond to her offer, something I know would had to be mentioned sooner or later.
"I can't sleep."
Freddy, Helpy, and Mangle looked at from the words I had said, though I could tell they already had an idea of what I was referring to.
"Because I have soul that's bound to a body I have no need to eat, drink, or sleep. Though that means I can't sleep in general and my mind doesn't shut off... " I explained.
"Makes sense... Michael has the same issues as well. Though his mind can shut off, almost acting like sleep for him," responded Freddy. "Still need to get a bed set up for you regardless." I was taken back by his response, even though I had just told him of my problems. "I just mentioned my problems to you though," I said. "Not fully an excuse to not have your own bed. You may not be able to sleep anymore but I'm making sure you feel close to be treating as if you were still alive, no matter what," he answered.
I couldn't believe his response; he completely heard my explanation and still cared on treating me like a normal person. If I could cry I would right now to show my gratitude, for someone that is worth giving kindness back. The people I've been around my life has always been the innocent, those with anger, and just normal kids and adults I couldn't understand back then. Michael, while being different in certain ways, was someone who had changed for the better though our pasts interfered with forming a proper friendship. People like Helpy or Bon Bon didn't seem like I would connect well with, especially since one of them had issues even I would struggle to help out in. Bonnie and Mangle both were striving for different goals and methods of going at it than what I would do, but I admired what they were able to accomplish myself. Foxy was one person I felt I would connect with but didn't have enough confidence of, the same with Freddy.
Now I was certain Freddy was someone I would trust. To me he was perfect example of the best person who could exist. He is someone who was an inspiration to others when all he see's is doing what no one has the courage to do, someone who deeply cares about the others he's around and seeks to treat those the same as everyone else. As well as being someone who has faults that is willing to accept those that can't be changed and those that can be turned into strengths.
"Thank you," I said being the only way of gratitude I could use as a response.
"Just doing what I can," responded Freddy turning to look at me.
"I think I'll see my father before I rest up for the night," I announced, as much as the anxiety was still bothering me. "Hope everything with your father goes well," said Freddy. "Ah you got nothing to worry about, Henry will be more than understanding of your current situation," mentioned Helpy. "I know," I responded as I walked towards the door. "I'll leave a blanket and a pillow upstairs in your bedroom. "Bedroom?" I questioned having to stop for a moment to process his words. "I think you should ask him about that yourself," answered Freddy. It sounded like my father had managed to spare a room for me, even if it wasn't necessary. It really did feel like I was back home.
I resumed my way to the door that lead to the house as he went back to inspect the whiteboard.
"Oh that is not good," said Freddy as I stopped at the door to look back. There were holes in the whiteboard, caused by our training, as he lifted the whiteboard off the wall to reveal the few holes in the wall. "Could've been worse. You figure that out because I am not about to be scolded by Henry for something I didn't do," said Helpy. "You sure as much help anyone that refuses to do anything could be," remarked Mangle.
I turned back around and entered in the house to let those three deal with troubles, as I was off to talk with my father now. While I made my way to the stairs I could hear the others in the living talk among themselves though I couldn't tell what; it didn't matter anyways as I had my own conversation to have with my father. I still felt weird being in a house again, especially since this was a different house from the one we had when I was alive.
I finally made it to the top of the stairs and continued to find my way to my fathers room. I had only been on the second floor earlier when we had all visited Henry's room where most of his work was, though there were only two other rooms and the bathroom that I had to go off of. I made my way to the door that was at the end of the hall and opened it while stepping inside.
I had clearly found my father's room, since he was at a desk working on something and turned to look at me from my entrance. "Hello Charlie," he said to greet me as I walked inside now. "Hello dad," I responded as I closed the door behind me. "I take it Freddy and the others are done with their training?" my father asked. "Yes. Everyone is heading off the bed now... I thought you were going to get sleep yourself" I said. "I already tried to get some sleep, mainly because Freddy and Helpy kept pushing me about it, though I got woken up by the neighbors," he answered. "The neighbors?" I asked. "I was woken up from their yelling outside, mainly due to Freddy's training and how loud it was, so I went downstairs and had a chat with them," he answered. "None of us heard you even come downstairs or talk with the neighbors," I said. "Can't blame you, I had to go outside just to hear what he had to say. I told them I was working on some new project since they're aware of my work and I agreed I would be finishing up soon. Freddy is lucky they didn't return, even with an hour of hearing all that noise," he responded. "How did you sleep then?" I asked. "I didn't," he responded. "As much as I would like to take up on Helpy's advice I cannot rest properly while William and his minions continue their schemes." "What are you doing with that device then?" I asked. "Modifying it so the neighbor won't be able to hear Freddy and the others training," he answered as he put down the device on the table and swung his body towards me in the chair he was sitting in. "What is it that you're here for?"
I inhaled and exhaled quickly enough for me to have the confidence to begin a conversation I had been dreading this whole time.
"It's time we talk... about us... "
"Yes... I suppose it is... " he responded. It seemed he was feeling the same way I was, but we both knew we had to deal with our problems.
"Take a seat on my bed."
I walked on over to his bed and sat down in front of him, as he turned his chair completely around to face me.
"So... Where do we start?" he asked.
"I guess about our relationship then, as father and daughter," I responded. "You're still my father, and I never forgot that after so many years of being alone." "And you're still my daughter, even through all hell you've went through," he responded. "Yes, but... I'm not the same little girl I was long ago. Being alone was hard, along with being stuck in a puppet and the position I was in. I didn't know what to do; I had no one to guide me but myself and the little things I learned from you and mom," I continued. "The new life I had... While I did good for others that died the same way as I did I couldn't heal the wounds I gave myself from being in the position I was for so long. It damaged me. It hurt to be alone and live a life I felt I couldn't trade back my old one for." "Yet you prevailed against the loneliness and pain... but it wasn't enough, was it?" said my father. "No. It wasn't... "I responded softly tilting my head down. "It was you and mom's strength I had to keep my sanity; I thought of you and even mom so much during the years. I never forgot you and her... But like I said I'm not the same person I was before I was murdered. I feel like I am just a shadow in anyone's presence, I don't how to approach the others without them doing the same first to start a conversation, and I don't know how to properly be friends with them. Most of them I just feel like I can't relate to, except possibly Freddy or Michael." "Freddy is an intriguing individual, though someone who is the most human out of the rest of the animatronics, though I cannot deny the others can also be considered the most human-like in terms of robots. Michael as well has gone through a traumatic life he still won't fully recover from, even if he seems past it. Both are loyal friends I, as well, would be appreciative to have," said my father. "But my problems will never go away," I said. "No, no matter how hard you try the memories you've endured and have planted into your mind will never leave. It can be ceased though, reduced with an impact that is barely noticeable if you have those to treat the wounds. Talking with others can help you reverse the damage and connect with those who understand your pain, people like Freddy and Michael," suggested my father. "But can I connect with them if I can't get myself to talk to them myself?" I asked looking up at him finally. "You just need to find the courage in you. Getting them to talk privately or alone is the most pivotal way to have a personal conversation without interruptions. It's the only way you'll have a chance to start a friendship, you'll need it if you want to help your problems," he continued. "What about you? Will you help?" I asked. "Of course I'll help, like I am right now. Though you require friends and those besides me to help because I can't assist on the things that is out of my league. People like Michael will have a better chance of understanding your pain because he went through a similar dilemma through his life; people who share pain they've experienced have a better understanding of each other than we realize. Only then can you begin to heal properly," he explained. "Thanks. For the advice. It's what I've need for a long time now," I responded with a small smile.
As quickly as it had formed the smile disappeared upon having to force myself to bring up one last topic, one that needed to be acknowledged.
"But there's one more thing that needs to be talked about."
"And what would that be?" asked my father.
"About me... About staying here with you... About-"
I stopped as to clear my head and explain myself properly, as I wasn't making myself clear at the moment.
"I can't live here as your daughter when this is over nor can I make a life here again. I can't go out in public, eat food or drink, or interact with anyone except you and the others. If I were to stay here I would only be sitting here each day forever, as my soul is still stuck in a puppet, while you would age like everyone else," I explained.
"I can't go back to my old life, nor can I go back to getting things normal again... I can't live a normal way... "
"Yes. That is something to consider," said my father looking down at the floor, followed with a sigh.
I could tell my dad was as concerned as I was about how to approach the predicament I was in to continue living on, though it was up to him to provide an answer to the problem.
"What do you propose to do?" he asked.
"I don't know... I-I'm not sure if there is a solution... And I'm scared of living further forever without being able to die. The thought has been on my mind of so long now that it has almost prevented me from continuing on, because I know I will never die peacefully... " I explained.
"There is only one way then... By dying so your soul may finally rest," said my father. "Y-You want me to die?" I questioned stunned by his answer. "Well, more specifically by having your puppet body destroyed so you're soul may finally be able to reach heaven. It is the only way you may be free from this world and pass on, though I do not want you to kill yourself as an easy way to escape the torment," he responded. "When you are out on missions with the others, or at the final battle to confront William, I do not want you to use any opportunity you see as a means to purposely end your life. Let it come naturally, do not think about the possibility of death, it will happen when it needs to."
"And what if it doesn't? If I survive? What then?" I asked.
"Then we will figure something out of that time comes. Together," he responded.
"Is that everything you wanted to discuss?"
"Yes, it is," I responded followed with me taking a deep sigh. "I feel like some weight has been lifted after finally speaking about my problems, though their not completely resolved yet. At least I won't have a lot on my mind as much... After all those years stuck with those thoughts, feeling like they would never leave me."
"But that's changed. You can begin to heal what can be healed," said my father.
"Yes, finally," I responded as I got up from the spot on the bed.
"And thanks father."
"I'm only doing what a father is responsible for you as my daughter," he responded.
I walked over to him without saying a word before hugging him while he was still on his chair, though being cautious while doing it considering I was in an animatronic that was heavy and had a lot of strength.
"Really father. Thank you."
"You're welcome," he responded with a smile now as he wrapped his arms around me now
"Your mother would be proud if she were still here, though I'm sure she already is."
"I know... Your advice does sound like something mom would say," I responded. "I learned a lot from her, and some of it stuck with me. Her advice and way of thinking lives on, at least what is important to me and her," he responded.
Being in my father's arms felt like I had officially been reunited with my family again and that I could finally move forward. I was still unsure of the future or what would happen in time, whether my fate would be to die in battle or live out my life as a memory with no ending to it. However I had a feeling of motivation to fix the things I could, even with the fear of interacting properly with the others.
I finally couldn't wait for tomorrow and the following days after to come as soon as they could.
I finally wanted to live and enjoy the life I still had use of.
I couldn't go back to my old life, but now I had a new one to continue off the one I lost too soon.
I was ready to continue my life as Charlotte.
"Soon you'll be reunited with Mom and have peace finally, when that time comes. I know she's been waiting this whole time to see you again. Though I have the feeling she is more focused on you going with your life, whatever time you have left, and making the best of it," said my father.
"So make it memorable."
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