Chapter 5-Musician's Block's Ass Got

"um...Miss, do you want to order?"  you hear a voice and you look up to see the waitress waiting for you to tell her your order. 

"um, Yes,  a hot choc-" you stop yourself as images of your chocolate-dipped essay come to your mind, "Actually tea will be just fine"  you tell her with a smile. 

At least if tea falls on your paper- which you hope it doesn't- you might be able to save it, opposing to the chocolate drink. 

​​​​​​"What flavor would you like?" she politely asks you. 

​​"Surprise me!" You tell her with a grin, she smiles and leaves after muttering a 'be right back'. 

When she turns around you get back to writing lyrics, you decide to look over at what you have written;

'Don’t think of anything

Don’t say anything, not even a word

Just give me a smile

I still can’t believe it

All of this seems like a dream

Don’t try to disappear

Is it true Is it true
You You'

And now you're stuck again. 

"Fuck" you mutter under your breath as you forcefully place your pen down. 

​​​​​​You lean back and close your eyes for a few seconds, after you open them you look outside the window at the awful weather. 

It kind of makes you feel sad and...  nostalgic? Why would you feel nostalgic? And why would the rain make you feel sad? 

​​​​​​You like the rain, it always gives you a reason to stay in your house, curl up under your covers and catch up on your favorite shows or read a good book, while you drink tea and be all cozy. 

However, you feel like something is missing. 

​​​​​​What could possibly be missing? You haven't done anything different on rainy days so that you should feel nostalgic about it. 

Then your eyes snap back to the cute couple and you realize how nice it would be to spend a rainy day with someone you share a romantic connection with.

​​​​​​Descriptions of romantic rainy days you've read in books flash across your mind and you feel the emptiness and loneliness sink in your stomach. 

Wow! Hold up there! Wait a second. Are you actually thinking how it would be to have a boyfriend? To actually live those moments you've read in so many books about? Well, damn right you are. 

But...what... What If... 

What if you do get into a relationship with someone,  you actually have those moments with him, whoever might the lucky one be to own your heart, wouldn't it make you happy?  You let yourself smile at the thought of having someone to do all those cringy yet romantic things you've been denying the idea of needing.

​​​​​But...

What happens if that person betrays you? What happens if his just fooling around with you? What If he's just around you because your a hard nut to crack open and when he succeeds and you surrender yourself to him,  he loses interest in you and simply abandons you but taks along your heart with him?

What if you turn out to be the one that doesn't want to be with him anymore and you have to break his heart because of your own selfishness? 

And once again, your emotions are simply matching with the weather, one moment you're feeling happy, cheery and maybe ready to open the door to your love life, but the other moment your feeling scared, closed off, locking the door and throwing the key as far away as possible or to the deepest oceans that exist. 

You look down at your paper with your messy writing and suddenly you know how to continue the lyrics,

​​​​​​Don’t think of anything

Don’t say anything, not even a word

Just give me a smile

I still can’t believe it

All of this seems like a dream

Don’t try to disappear

Is it true Is it true

You You

You’re so beautiful, that I’m scared

Untrue Untrue

You You You

Will you stay by my side

Will you promise me

If I let go of your hand, you’ll fly away and break

I’m scared scared scared of that

And like that you continue writing the lyrics feeling more passion than you ever have. You have even come up with a few melodies that you quietly recorded yourself singing, on your phone. 

Just as you put your pen down, after you wrote the very last verse of the song you hear your phone beeping indicating a text has come. 

You take it in your hands to see who texted you but your eyes widen when you see what time it is.  Two hours have already passed ever since you started writing that song.

Hell, you didn't realize a thing, even the rain has cut down a bit,  you look at your table and see the cup of tea the waitress brought you quite some time ago. You take a sip and cringe at the fact that it's cold like ice. 

​​​​​​You look around the cafe to see if anyone has left or anyone new has come; The cute couple that gave you the jump start has left, so have a few others, the only costumers that have stayed are you, the matchmaker couple (Eun-bi and Tae), Jimin and Lisa, who all look like their having an amazing time as laughter keeps echoing from their table. 

You look towards them and you spot Jimin looking at you, the moment your eyes land on his, he averts them pretending to never have looked at you and continues chatting with Lisa. 
You frown in confusion but don't give it much though as your phone beeps again. 

You open your phone again and this time you actually check the income messages;

Unknown Number:

-Hey, Y/N, it's Cody, do you wanna meet for your essay? 
-Is this really your number? I hope your friend didn't fool me. 🙏

You smile at the second text and start typing your response. 

​​​​Me:

​​​​​​-Yes, this is my number, Cody. You don't have to worry. And please come help me with this essay I have no energy to start this again.  😤

You send hit after re-reading it a few times to make sure you made no errors in that text. But you come to realize something. You didn't just flirt, did you? 

Please come and help me with this essay, I have no energy to write this again.... 

You repeat your words in your mind, thinking that someone would definitely take this as flirting.

You said 'please', when Cody has no other choice but to help you with this because he is the reason your original essay went to the trash.  And you said 'I have no energy to write this on my own again' well... How could that be flirty?
 
You scratch your head as you think about that, and you choke on thin air as you think that dirty minds might get the wrong idea.
 
And now you're worried.

You're ready to start panicking but you force yourself to calm down by thinking that it's not much of a big deal and you'll know how he understood your words through his response.

If he belives you meant something else with those words he'll send something that indicates he understood... Like a flirty Emoji?

Right? 

Right, you're just overreacting, you shouldn't make it that much of a big deal. 

You jump slightly as you feel your phone buzzing in your hands. ​​​​​​
Cody texted back. 

Unknown Number:

-You can't say 'please'. It's my fault, I'm kind of bound to help you. Glad your accepting my help tho! Where do you wanna meet? 

You sigh in relief as you see no indicator that could lead to any other meanings. It surprises you, nonetheless.

You ​​​​​​relax and text him back;

Me:
-I'm at the same cafe we were earlier. When I got out it started raining and I had to come back. I didn't see you tho... Where did you go at such little time? 

You automatically press send without even bothering to re-read it. For some odd reason you don't feel weird with Cody anymore; you feel like you can be your crazy self with him and he won't judge. This is the vibe he gives off...you hope he honestly acts like the vibe he gives. You could actually be friends with him, considering that this fact is true. 

If nothing more... 

Says the little irrational voice inside your head. 

No, I can't think of him like that! It's just the weird weather affecting me in an abnormal way,  these are not my real thoughts, I'm just being influenced. 

You told yourself. Before you can continue your thoughts you get a text from him and you immediately open it. 

Unknown Number:
-I'm on my way, I'm bringing my laptop too. I left right after you did, a friend gave me a ride, that's probably why u didn't see me. 

Me:
-I was going to text you right now to bring your laptop with u. Mine's not working, that's why the essay was hand-written :///​​​​​

Cody:
-I figured that out. Sorry about that again...

Me:
-Yeah, well, what's done is done, so stop saying your sorry,  you've already said enough times :P

Cody:
-As you say! 😁 

You look at this text, and are at a question at how to respond to him, so you decide to just not respond to him at all. 

After five minutes he enters the cafe, he scans the room in search of you and smiles once he spots you. 
You smile back at him as approaches you and takes a seat in front of you. 

​​​​​"Shall we begin?" you ask. 

​​​​​​"A little rushy? Hello to you too by the way" he says with a smile. 

You blush, but try to play it cool, "Eh, well, the sooner we begin the better. But, Hello" you end with a smile and he chuckles as he pulls out his laptop and biology textbook. 
"Okay, let's get down to it" you take a deep breath and both of you dive in endless analyzing of the human D.N.A.

It has already been two and a half hours since you started the essay and both of you have been working equally hard. 

​​​​"uuuggghhh"  you whine as you rub eyes.  

"Just a little longer, Y/N, a few more sentences and we'll take a break" Cody says and takes another sip from his warm coffee. 

​​​​​​"We have only written like only half of the essay," you say as you keep your eyes closed. 

It's fifteen to nine in the afternoon, there is no one at the cafe except you, Cody and the staff of course.  Tae, Eun-bi, Jimin and Lisa left long ago, but not without coming to say goodbye, and tease you about being with Cody (especially Eun-bi) and saying stuff like 'have a nice date', or Jimin throwing you death stares. 

​​​​​​"Okay, I've had enough, we can continue this tomorrow" Cody says and he too rubs his eyes. 

"I have to agree with you on that" you say and start packing your things. 

"It's quite late, do you want me to give you a ride?" he offers and you remain silent for a second considering your answer. 

As if reading your thoughts, Cody says half jokingly  "I'm not a pervert or a criminal I promise! You can trust me"  

​​​​​​You laugh along with him and agree to have him take you home, since you are too tired to walk and adding to that; it's raining, again. 

Mother nature sure is moody today. 
Once you get home, however, you're not prepared for the many questions Eun-bi shoots you with and also the presence of seven boys, who are also rather curious.

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