His breaths stucked inside as those soft lips of hers pressed against his rough ones. A sharp breath he inhaled as she gave a little suck on his lower lip. 

His gaze got fixed at her face. Her eyes were closed while her hands were holding his face.

She sucked his lips again while her hold on his cheeks tightened. Her soft rosy lips took his lower lip again sucking it softly.

His eyes got closed too this time. Her breathes mingling with his as she kissed him. He needed this. His weak emotional self needed this.

Pushing her against the wall his one hand held her hands above her head. His body pressed against hers as he himself took her lips in his.

His other hand moved at the back of her neck pulling her face more into him. He sucked her lips with that wildness which made her moan inside his mouth.

She could feel that strong passionate force of his lips against hers. His giant body was crushing her petite figure in between himself and the wall.

Tightening his hold on her wrists he sucked her both lips in utter desperation. Biting her lower lip he made her wince while entering his tongue in her mouth.

He kept kissing her sucking every inch of her mouth. His body kept pressing against hers with the force increasing every second.

The more he kissed her with that passion, with that need, need of love, need of warmth, need of her, he could feel that urge to drink subsiding slowly.

The more his lips tasted hers, the more he sucked those soft lips of hers, the more he felt her skin against his, he could feel her warmth rushing through him. He could feel her love submitting to his passionate self.

Her body, her soul was lost in him. Her heart was wanting to soothe his aching heart. Her soul was wanting to take his pain away.

She could feel every inch of their bodies connecting with each other. It was doing something to her. The sensations were all over her skin inside and out.

Shifting his hold from her neck to her waist his hand moved inside her kurta. A strong urge to grip his hair engulfed her as his cold fingers moved up at her bare back.

Sensing her wriggling her hands in urgency in his tight hold, he loosened his hold giving her the chance to get her hands freed.

Pulling her hands out of his grip she held his hair in tight grip as he digged his fingers in her waist pulling her more into himself letting them feel each other to the extreme intensity.

Kissing her he took her senses away for moments. Letting go of her lips he rested his face in her neck catching his breaths while she kept panting experiencing the intensity of the kiss.

His lips brushed on the soft skin of her neck while he stayed still. His hand was still inside her kurta while she was standing normalising her breathes.

Her fingers ruffled his hair softly as he kept breathing in her neck. She was relieved that he wasn't feeling the need of alcohol but was still scared thinking if he tried to drink again.

"Sidharth" she whispered while her hands kept caressing his hair trying to soothe him in every way.

He didn't answer her while his giant figure was hiding her in himself against the wall.

"Theek ho ab, theek lag raha hai sidharth?" she asked getting no answer. Worry was starting to engulf her as he wasn't replying to her. The next moment she felt him inhaling a sharp breath against her skin.

His hold tightened on her waist as her words reached his ears. He was lost in the moment forgetting his pain for the time.

Her words made him come into reality. The reality which was always painful for him.
Those flashes started to play in his mind again which could make him feel extreme ache inside.

"Mar gye hain tere maa baap" those harsh words rang in his mind stabbing deep in his heart like always. The words which he could never erase from his memory.

The words which got imprinted in his mind at the age of just 4.

"Nhi hainn vo, mar gye hain"

"samjh mai ni aata. mar gye hain, suna tujhe?"

"ja yahan se, mar gye hain vo, tera baap bhi aur teri maa bhi!!!!"

"mar gye......"

"Aghhghhhhhh" a loud scream left his mouth as those words overpowered his senses.

Those flashes took over his mind making him go in that moment again. Screaming angerily his teeth sunked in her skin as he felt immense pain inside.

Her lips parted to wince but she bit her lower lip to suppress the pain inside. His teeth digged harshly in her neck causing her immense pain for the moment but that painful scream which left his mouth digged deeper in her heart.

That scream hurt her more that his bite. Every part of her body, her heart, her soul felt that pain of his.

"Shant sidharth, relax!! theek hai sab..main hun yahan, tumhare paas..hmm!! hun mai" entangling her fingers in his hair she tried to relax him while soft relaxing words left her mouth to calm him.

He groaned against her neck while her hands kept caressing his hair to calm down his restlessness inside.

His hold loosened against her skin slowly removing her skin from his harsh bite leaving it as her immense love was calming his aching heart.

Her words and her relaxing touch was soothing him slowly letting him feel that care which he needed.

"Naaz" he breathed against her skin while she could feel breaths were still uneven. His voice had uncertainty.

"Haan sidharth hun mai yahan. hmm.. relax" she whispered while her other hand moved to his back rubbing it slowly.

"mm...tum ho, tum ho yahan" he mumbled as if confirming to himself while his lips brushed against her skin feeling wetness on his lips.

He took her skin in his lips giving a small suck getting to know that it was blood. His harsh bite made little blood ooze out of her skin.

"Naaz...mm..khoon.. maine..ye...mai..." he mumbled against her skin like a lost child. His voice had fear and uncertainty not knowing how to deal with himself.

She could feel him getting emotionally weak again. His emotions which he had buried deep inside since years were rushing through him making it difficult for him to take a control on his actions.

"It's okay sidharth. Theek hai. Kuchh ni hua" she whispered in her softest voice while caressing his hair with extreme love and care for her husband.

She knew it was not in his control the moment he bit her so hard causing blood to ooze out of her skin.

Leaning on her he took her skin in lips soothing the bite sucking it as soft as he could. His hand moved to the wall at her back to balance himself not to crush her petite self more.

She could feel his breaths on her skin getting heavy again. The rush of emotions inside him was making him weak every passing second.

He had always kept a control on himself not to break, not to fall weak but this time he wanted to let his weak self come out.

He knew she was there this time to hold his weak self. He wanted her to heal him, to relieve his pain.

A sharp breathe he inhaled which she felt on her neck and the next second he moved away from her.

Leaning against the wall he set down on the floor in washroom. He didn't feel himself to strong enough to even move out of the washroom.

She herself was feeling every little feel what he must be feeling seeing him tiredly resting his head against the wall. He looked so exhausted, the exhaustion of emotions.

"Sidharth" getting on her knees she set in front of him. Her hands cupped his face letting him feel that she was there and she will be there.

"Hhm....naaz" he breathed her name feeling extremely heavy inside. She held his hands in hers rubbing them trying to comfort him. She could feel him getting restless again.

"Sidharth theek ho tum..mai yahin hun..tumhare paas..haina..just relax sidharth" she whispered giving him strength, letting him know that he was not alone. Her hands kept holding his giving him her feel.

"Mere paas baitho please" he pleaded anxiously while his voice came out just as a mere whisper almost inaudible but her complete concentration on him let her hear him.

"Han han hun mai yahin hun" she shifted closer to him rubbing his arms now. Caressing his cheek she kissed his cheeks softly to calm him.

Holding her wrist he pulled her in his lap while his other hand wrapped around her waist.

Keeping his head on her shoulder he inhaled sharp breaths. She kept caressing his little beard softly trying to comfort him in every way possible.

It was taking every ounce of her strength to see him in such condition. He had kept so much buried inside which was overwhelming him.
She never thought her strong sidharth could have been so weak inside.

"Sidharth agar tum bologe nhi, mujhse share nhi kroge to ye dard tumhe aise hi andar hi andar khata rahega, please sidharth mat kro aisa" she said pleading him on the verge of crying but was controlling himself for him so he could share everything with her. She will be able to heal him only after knowing the reason of his pain.

A lone tear fell on her neck making her bite her lips knowing it was his. He wanted to cry but was holding his tears back.

He wanted to tell her everything first as he knew if he let that hold on himself go, he will be totally devastated to speak anything.  

"Bolo sidharth please" she held his face in her hands looking into his eyes. Those deep eyes filled with immense pain looked into hers with longing ness.

That longing ness which tortured his insides since last 24 years. That longing ness which made him think that he was good alone,which made him believe that this world was all about power.

The more power you have, the more people will fear you.

The more power you have, the more people will be in their limits in front of you.

The more power you have, the more you will be able to survive in this cruel world.

He had seen the reality of this world in a very young age which made him strong enough to fight alone.

Him being strong never meant that he didn't have any weakness. He had hid his weak self  not to let this world to know.

Once this world knows your weakness, you will be finished and he had experienced this very soon to protect himself.

Him being overprotective for shehnaaz had this reason only that he had seen many dark shades of this world. He knew she was too pure, too soft to deal with this cruel world.

She could be easily targeted in this world because of her naive self and he could never bear that.

He had to protect her because her pure naive self dared to melt his stone strong heart, she dared to make his heart beat for her. She dared to make him fall for herself. The truth was he loved her all these dares which she herself was unaware about.

"Sidharth" her soft worried words reached his ear breaking his thoughts. He looked at her in silence.

This girl sitting in his lap who took his heart for forever was his wife now who loved him, the only person. Her presence in his life made his longing self calm. She was an angel for him.

"Bolo sidharth, kahan kho gye the tum" she was looking at him worriedly. Seeing her worried for himself, he couldn't stop another tear which left his eyes.

She quickly wiped that tear of his while burying her sobs inside.

"Sidharth bahr chalein. Bahr chl k baithte hain...hmm?" caressing his cheeks with her thumbs she asked him with all the love.

They were sitting in the washroom. She thought he will feel better outside in open fresh air. It will be better for him to talk.

"Nahi, kahin nahi jana...yahin baitho mere paas" pulling her more into his chest he hide his face in her neck again. His voice had fear, anxiousness and that possessive feeling of not letting her move away from himself even for a second.

He was totally leaning on her crushing her into himself while burying himself into her.

"Achha theek hai. Yahin baithte hain..kahin nhi jaa rahe" she rubbed his arms taking his weight as he was literally sitting loosening his half self on her.

He kept breathing in her neck while she kept caressing his hair while rubbing his arms. It was extreme silence in the room.

She was waiting for him to speak himself whenever he would feel like. He needed his time to voice it out whatever he had kept inside for all his life.

"Mere baba DCP the Mumbai Police mai" she heard his voice against her neck as he talked in the daze of memories.

"Hmm" she hummed while caressing his hair encouraging him to talk. The position she was sitting in was quite uncomfortable.

She could feel an ache starting in her back but him being in such emotional moment didn't let her voice it out.

"Apne kaam se wafadari aur apne zameer se imaandari, ye do asool the unke zindagi mai" moving his head back he rested it against the wall while his one arm was wrapped around her and the other hand moved to hers to hold it.

She instantly entangled her fingers with his getting his need. Closing his eyes he let those days roam in his mind again. His hold tightened on her hand making her rub his hand softly to relieve the anxiety he was feeling inside.

"Unki imaandari bhut se logon ko chubhti thi naaz" he said as he remembered his father's words back in his childhood.

"Baba ek aur case solve kar diya aapne. Congratulations!! we are proud of you" three and a half years old sidharth hugged his father congratulating him for his another success.

He was very well aware of his father's profession.  Whenever his father's picture used to be printed on the front page of local newspaper of Mumbai, he used to feel the proudest son and would express his happiness using the perfect words surprising his parents.

"Baba jo vo uncle mile the market mai, vo bhi aapke office mai hi hain na. Unhone aapko congratulate bhi ni kiya aur baat bhi badi rude tone mai kar rahe the. I didn't like that uncle" sidharth said with all the seriousness lacing in his voice.

His father was looking at him amused. Yet another time he surprised his father with his observation capability. He was really good at observing people around.

"Har koi aapke kaam se khush ho ye zroori nhi hota beta. Kuchh logon ko aapki kamyabi bhut khalti hai" those words of his father set deep in his mind. He very well understood what his father meant.

"Koi baat nhi baba, koi aur khush ho ya na ho,mai aur maa aapke liye humesha khush honge" the little baby sidharth smiled at his father holding his hand giving him the confidence, no one else could give except his family.

"Janta hun sidharth. Tum aur tumhari maa mere liye sab kuchh ho" kissing his forehead he smiled at his son.

"Bolte hain na k apne karam ko apna dharam maan kar karna chahiye, baba humesha yahi karte the. Unke liye unka kaam unka dharam tha" his lips stretched into a slight smile while his voice had that pain which he was hiding behind that smile.

She was listening him quietly not wanting to disturb him. He was engrossed in those days of his life while talking and she let him be.

"Sab kuchh achha chal raha tha. Chhoti si family thi hum teen logon ki. Ek simple sa flat tha humara mumbai mai hi. Baba office jate the, mai school aur maa ghar sambhalti thi. Simple si life thi humari bhi jaisi aur logon ki hoti hai" he took a deep breath taking a pause while his fingers were playing with hers easing him.

She could feel her heart beats increasing slowly. If he had a simple life, then what must have had happened which made him choose this way of life.

She felt scared to know the reason of him taking the path of a criminal. He must had experienced something beyond her imagination.

Her fingers tightened with his trying to strengthen herself to hear whatever he had to say.

"Ek din baba ghar aaye aur hume bola k hum ghar chhod rahe hain. Do din baad humne vo ghar chhod diya tha. Kya hua tha mujhe nhi pta tha lekin maa ko pta tha. Maine dekha tha unko pareshan par mujhe bataya nhi" he inhaled another breath while leaning on him she placed a kiss on his chest to keep him relaxed.

"Phir hum iss jagah aaye, iss jungle mai. Ek chhota sa ghar tha yahan. Ye ghar naya hai naaz lekin ye jagah wahi hai. Aaj bhi vo chhota sa ghar dikhta hai mujhe iss ghar mai, humara ghar" he smiled warmly while resting his head back.

There was extreme silence again. He was quiet while his eyes were closed.

"Ye jagah dekhte hi bhut pasand aayi thi mujhe. Bilkul shant, koi shor nhi aur phir humne iss jungle mai dubara apni chhoti si duniya bsa li. Vo duniya jis k baare mai kisi ko nhi pta tha" a slight smile came on his lips again.

"Sab kuchh achha chal raha tha naaz. Hume iss jungle mai adjust krne mai koi dikkat nhi hui. Infact vo life zyadan achhi lgti thi. Bhut sukoon tha yahan. Phir baba ek case mai busy ho gye. Ghar par late aate the. Maa bhi pareshan rehne lgi thi par koi mujhe kuchh batata nhi tha" his breaths got heavy again. She started to rub his chest calming him.

"Mujhe bacha samjhte the maa baba lekin mai cheezon ko bhut jldi samjh jata tha. Ghar mai ki problem hai, mujhe sab samjh aata tha. Lekin maa baba mujhe humesha problems se dur rakhne ki koshish krte the" his eyes got teary while she could feel his voice breaking.

"Pta hai naaz, mujhe pta chal gya tha k baba jo case solve kar rahe the, usme koi problem thi. Maine baba se puchha to unhone mujhe taal diya par maine vo tension dekh li thi unke face par" a tear fell down his eyes as he inhaled another sharp breath.

Her heart felt heavy seeing him close to his breakdown.

"Jis mandir mai humari shadi hui hai naaz, maa har roz jaati thi wahan. Bhut purana mandir hai vo. Unko achha lagta tha wahan jana aur kabhi kabhi mai bhi chla jata tha sath mai." he smiled slightly making her smile too. His gaze was fixed at the floor.

"Diwali thi uss din. Mai maa aur baba gye the sath mai diwali ka diya jalane. Baba k ek dost ka call aaya. Diwali celebrate krne k liye baba ko aur hume bula rahe the apne ghar. Baba ne mana kar diya lekin unke dost ne insist kiya to baba ne haan krdi" his grip tightened on her hand while she rubbed his hand giving him much needed strength.

"Baba ne bola k vo akele jaa k aa jayenge thodi der mai par maa ne mana kar diya. Unko baichani si hui ek dam se, baba ko bola k ya to yahin ruko ya phir vo bhi sath jayengi" he remembered how his mother got so restless all of a sudden not wanting to leave his husband alone.

Shehnaaz's grip tightened on his hand as if she herself was present in that moment. She herself felt that restlessness which his mother must have felt at that moment.

His head leaned back as that day flashed in front of his eyes.

"Sidharth hum dono jldi se mere dost k ghar p diwali ka gift de k aate hain. Tumhe ghar chhod k jayenge, thodi der mai aa jayenge hum" her mother said. Her heart denied to take him along. This jungle was the safest place for him. No one knew about this house of raichands and that would keep him safe.

"Maa mai aap dono k sath jaunga please. Diwali hai aaj, mujhe akele nhi rehna" though he was just a little kid but he could feel a different restlessness too. He didn't want to be away from his parents on that night.

"Sirat, sidharth akela kya karega yahan, sath leke chalte hain" his father said to sidharth's mother. They were just going to his friend's house. He was a trustworthy friend for him to think any negative thoughts.

"Nhi sidharth nhi jayega sath. Agar jana hai to hum bas jaldi se jaa k aa jayenge, nhi to rehne do. bss ghar chalte hain" his mother said instantly. She didn't want to go or let her husband go but she knew if he said yes to his friend, he wouldn't deny.

"Theek hai. Sidharth we will drop you home aur phir bass 5 minute unke ghar baith kar aa jayenge" his father said giving in his wife's wish.

Sidharth reluctantly agreed to stay at home. He wasn't scared to be alone in the house as that place was the safest. Being in nature could never cause threat until one doesn't interfere in nature unnecessarily.

What he was scared was to be away from his mom and dad. He didn't want them to go but agreed to them thinking it was a matter of some time.

"Mujhe maa baba ko jaane hi nhi dena chahiye tha naaz" he mumbled feeling so heavy inside.

Her heart was thudding against her chest as she felt scared to hear further. She started to rub his chest seeing him inhaling sharp breathes.

"Uss raat k baad maa baba kabhi vapis aaye hi nhi" he breathed while another tear fell down his eyes.

That whole night flashed in front of his eyes. Every second he felt a fear that night, the fear which didn't let him sleep, which took his peace away.

She felt extreme pain in her chest realising what must have had been the situation. Tears rolled down her eyes thinking of him being just a small kid and experiencing such cruel fate.

He was breathing so heavy while his hand was gripping hers with all the force as he was feeling immense pain shooting through his insides.

The intensity of that pain was heart wrenching. It made him loose every little control he had on himself.

"Nhi aaye vo...nahi aaye maa baba.." screaming helplessly he gritted his teeth. Extreme pain, anger, helplessness, agitation rushed through him. Not able to take the intensity of his emotions sidharth punched the wall beside screaming loudly.

Her whole form shivered listening his pain filled screams. She couldn't control the sobs which left her mouth not able to take his condition.

"Sidharth..ye kya kar rahe ho...stop" she tried to hold his hand as he punched the wall again.

He didn't listen to her and kept punching the wall letting out the emotions which were build up inside him.

Seeing the blood oozing out of his knuckles she got anxious. He wasn't ready to stop and it was causing her heart ache to the extreme.

"Sidharth" she held his hand as he again tried to punch the wall. He tried to push her hand away but she didn't let him do that tightening her hold.

"Shh..calm down sidharth.. please sidharth..mat kro aise" cupping his face in her hands she looked into his eyes. Her eyes showed her every feeling for him, her every emotion for him.

Sidharth looked at her like a small baby. She saw that small sidharth of 4 in him today who got deprived of love in such early age. She saw that lost kid in him who had spent that entire night waiting for his maa and baba.

"Main hun tumhare pass sidharth...humesha" she mumbled looking into his naaz. He looked at her with those teary eyes making her bite her lips to stop her sobs.

"Naaz" breathing he pushed his face in her chest hiding himself into her warmth. Her hands wrapped around his head holding him as close as she could.

"Maa baba nhi aaye vapis naaz" he cried in her chest wrapping his arms around her waist.

Her soul, her heart cried with him. His pain made her cry for him.

Note-

Sorry if i messed this chapter.

Could have written better but....

Next chapter will take time.

Take care everyone. God bless us.