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( ID: fictions_writer )

Pulling the breaks sidharth stopped the car in a familiar region. Shehnaaz looked at the place in confusion. It was the same place where they...!!

In the whole drive they both were silent. Neither she asked him where was he taking her nor he told her anything.

Her eyes were on him all the time to let herself know if he was fine or not while his gaze was fixed on the muddy route he was driving through but he knew about her glances on himself.

Shehnaaz looked at sidharth to know why they were here while he opened the car getting out of the car. She too opened the door and went out of the car.

Locking the car door sidharth walked towards her side where she stood like a confused baby.

That simple plain suit of light purple colour on her was giving him the vibes of a simple,  beautiful house wife.

The cotton dupatta on her shoulder was adding to her simplicity.

Shehnaaz was just concerned about sidharth. His condition of last night wasn't leaving her mind. She didn't want to go anywhere but just be at home and take care of him but he himself ordered her to take her somewhere.

Half heartedly she got ready on the simplest suit she find in her closet. There was an instant feeling she felt inside to wear something simple and she did.

His strong hand slid into her soft one taking her attention. She looked at him while he firmed his grip on her grip. Looking into her eyes once he took a step with her hand in his hold while she followed his step.

Taking the stairs they were finally standing infront of the temple. The same temple where they had got married few days back.

Her gaze moved to him feeling him tightening his grip on her hand. He too a sharp breathe closing his eyes while she was observing him quietly.

She wrapped her other hand on his which was holding her hand. His eyes moved to their hand and than at her.

She blinked her eyes at him to let him know that she was there. Though she had no idea what was he thinking, why were they here but she wanted to comfort him.

He looked at her with something deep in his eyes. He could see her trying to comfort him, he could feel that. Even not knowing the reason of his restless breathes she was trying to comfort him. How couldn't his heart fell more deep in her love.

Looking into her eyes he took a step forward in the temple while she again followed his step quietly.

She could see the only pandit was present there. It was the same pandit which was there on their marriage day.

While walking inside she could see there was some preparation going on. It looked like the pandit was preparing for some kind of havan.

She looked at sidharth who was walking silently while his grip on her hand was firm. Panjit ji moved aside as they stood near the havan kund.

Her eyes fall on something which made her shock. A picture of a couple was placed there. They looked in their 30s in the picture.

Her eyes observed the picture and she could feel her breathes getting heavy. The features of the man in the picture looked same as sidharth. In fact there faces were quite same.

The realisation made her feel extreme heavy inside. Suddenly she was feeling difficult to breathe. Her eyes moved to him who was looking at the picture in daze.

She was scared to look into his eyes. He must be in extreme pain. How was he keeping this inside since always? She tightened her grip on his hand with her other hand making him look at her.

She looked at him with a slight questionable nod at him. Looking at her he inhaled a sharp breathe and nodded his head answering her silent question.

She took a sharp breathe while her lips pressed to stop that sob. Her heart felt extreme pain with the realisation.

The picture was of his parents. That meant he was all alone. His parents looked so young in the picture. Her father looked of equal age with sidharth now. That was another realisation that they left him so early.

He had been left alone in his childhood only. The pain of loosing parents, he had to go through in such young age.

Lost in the realisation she didn't realise that her eyes were shedding silent tears but he did. He was seeing her crying. She was crying for him. She was there with him, for him.

The last night had made him realise that she deserved to know his life. She deserved to know that painful part of his life. She deserved to know every little thing of his life.

He had always seen her soft and sensitive. Last night made him see a mature woman in her who could handle him.

He was drunk last night yet he remembered every little thing of the night.

He had seen how she stopped him from drinking more. The way she had scolded him and snatched the bottle from him.

He had seen her bringing him to room, removing his shoes, making lemonade for him.

He had seen her massaging his head with oil to reduce his head ache. She had held him while he vomited. She didn't feel yuck even for a moment. She made his face wash.

Another realisation which was her complete submission to him. He had seen how she let him engulf himself into her warmth.

The way she let him feel her however and wherever. The way she let him do whatever he felt like to do. He had remembered how she gave his her warmth like a mother.

The memories of last night were too deep in his head to take them out. Getting up in the morning he had remembered every thing.

He had seen their position. He had seen himself still engulfed into her warmth. He had seen himself relying on her in every sense last night.

Kissing her forehead he had moved out of the bed. The next thing just made him fall too deep into her love. The clean floor where he vomited made his heart beat stop for a second.

She cleaned his vomit, the realisation made him feel himself that one person who had achieved everything in life.

The last night made him realise her deep unconditional love for himself. She had always loved him, he knew but the moments of last night made him realise that she loved him with her all heart, her soul, her everything.

He had seen that strong woman in his soft naaz who could handle him. Being strong woman didn't mean to be physically strong, strict, rude and arrogant or the one who could fight alone with the whole world.

His naaz definitely didn't have these qualities but she was his strong woman. She had that patience in her, she had that care in her nature, she had that strength to take his pain. He had seen all these shades of her for himself. She had handled him so well last night.

He knew one thing by the morning that she deserved to be a part of his life in every way. She deserved to know every single thing of his life and he would do.

He will share his life with her. He will let her enter his that world which he always tried to keep her away from.

She deserved it and he had to let it go now. He had to let her handle him and he was ready.

Taking a deep breathe he shut his mind letting the memories of last night hide inside.

Moving his hand he wiped her tears while her eyes moved to him. He said nothing and just moved towards the pandit while her hand was still in his firm grip.

"Sari tyari ho gyi?" sidharth asked panjit ji in his plain emotionless voice.

Her eyes moved to him seeing how quick he masked his emotions within seconds. That's how he had been hiding his pain inside. But she would not let him hide his pain anymore. 

"Ji beta sari tyaari ho gyi hai, tumhara hi intzar kar raha tha" panjit ji replied checking everything again. He seemed knowing sidharth since long the way he talked with him.

"Hmm" he just hummed while his eyes were stuck on that picture of his parents.

"Puja shuru krni hai beta, aap dono baith jao" panjit ji said gestured them to sit infront of havan kund.

( I have no idea what do you call that place in hindi jahan aag jalate hain. Sorry if am writing wrong words here)

Sidharth pulled shehnaaz along sitting where they were supposed to.

"Ye mala tasvir par chadha do beta" panjit ji said igniting fire in the hawn kund. Sidharth did as said.

Shehnaaz was observing him quietly. The way he was performing his part in silence, she couldn't see any expression on his face.

Soon pandit ji started to recite mantras. It was 24th death anniversary of his parents. He performed every right as pandit ji asked him while reciting the mantras.

He did perform these rights every year since last 24 years of his life. He was alone every year but this time she was there with him.

He did come to this temple every year but never asked God for anything. He used to come there to let God see that he was still standing there strong.

God snatched his parents but couldn't break him. But how could God not see his pain which he was hiding inside. He had sent this angel to relieve his pain. The angel which was sitting right beside him and sidharth couldn't deny this.

Sidharth made her part of his every right. Holding her hand in his he did the necessities while she couldn't stop her tears which were flowing for him.

____________________________________

Performing the puja they both stood up. Holding her hand sidharth was about to move outside but she didn't follow him.

Pulling his hand she moved towards the idol of God placed in the temple. He did follow her silently.

"Bhagwan se kabhi muh pher kar nhi jaate" she said looking at him and then towards the idol while he followed her eyes.

Closing her eyes she folded her hands and wished all the happiness for sidharth. She prayed to God to relieve his pain, to give him peace inside.

She then prayed for their parents. His parents were hers too now though they were not present there in a physical form but they must be seeing their son from up.

Sidharth stood there looking at her. She was the only person in his life whom he fears to loose. God had snatched his family once, he could never afford this again. A fear was there inside him which he never want to come true.

Looking at the idol in front of him he folded his hands. The God he never asked anything from gave him something which he fears to loose now. He could pray for her and he did.

He prayed to God to keep his naaz, his wife in his life always. Years later the only thing he asked from God.

Soon they moved out of the temple. Reaching downstairs sidharth opened the door for her and got her inside. Starting the car they drove back to home.

Again the way back home went in silence. Reaching their home sidharth entered the car inside as the guards opened the gate.

Moving out of the car they went inside the house. Locking the door behind sidharth walked upstairs to their room while she followed him instantly. She did not want to leave him alone this time.

Entering inside their room he went towards the bed and set there resting his head back. Closing his eyes he took a deep breathe as if he was holding this breathe inside since long.

She walked close to him and started to take off his shoes. Opening his eyes he looked at her and held her wrist pulling her to himself making her fall on him.

Wrapping his arm around her waist he made her sit beside him. His eyes were gazing deep into hers as if reading them.

Her hand moved to his cheek. Caressing his cheek softly she looked at him asking him silently to let it out.

"let it go sidharth, mai hun tumhare sath" she whispered gazing into his eyes.

His hand moved to hers pressing it more on his cheek. It was the time. She was there, she will hold him.

He inhaled a sharp breathe as a tear fell down his eyes. He kept breathing sharply biting his lips.

Taking her slippers off she completely got on bed shifting closer to him. Her hand held his pressing it giving him the assurance he needed.

He looked at her once and then turned his gaze looking at nothing particular.

"24 saal ho gye, maa baba ko mujhe chhod kar gye hue" those heart piercing words left his mouth digging in her chest like sharp knife. His voice had extreme pain while his eyes had those painful tears brimming which he was stopping to flow out.

"4 saal ka tha mai jab mujhe bataya gya k....mar gye hain mere maa baba" he breathed a heavy breathe letting those words out. Her hand pressed his hand tightly while she bit her inner cheeks to stop the sobs inside. Tears had already made their way out of her eyes.

He was just 4. She couldn't even imagine his pain. He was just a small little baby. How he would have digested this news?

"Meri family k baare mai sunogi?" he asked suddenly looking at her with longingnes as if he was dying to share those 4 years of his life with her which he never shared with anyone.

Those years which he used to remember and hid them inside again. No one was there whom he could tell that he too had a family. Now his wife was there to be a part of his those 4 years.

"Haan sunungi na, batao tum mai sab sunungi" she cupped his face while controlling her tears. She could see a little child in him today who he must have kept hidden inside.

A painful smile came on his lips while he pulled her closer to himself.

"You know naaz, meri family bhut chhoti c thi. Mai, maa aur baba. Hum teeno ek dusre ki zindagi the" he said remembering those happy times of his life.

His painful smile turned into a warm smile as some happy warm memories engulfed his mind.
Her lips curved into a smile too amid tears seeing his smile.

"Maa baba ek dusre se bhut pyaar krte the. Kabhi kabhi ek mature couple k jaise behave krte the aur kabhi kabhi bilkul bachon jaise ban jaate the" he chuckled remembering those times making her chuckle softly too.

"Baba bhut strict the aur maa bhut soft lekin jab maa ko gussa aata tha baba kabhi unke samne bol ni paate the phir" he smiled softly while his hand was caressing her knuckles in daze.

"Kabhi kabhi mujhe lgta tha k bacha mai nhi vo dono the" sidharth chuckled while his eyes had happy tears. She kept listening him quickly observing him how his expressions were changing as the memories were taking him back into those days.

"Maa ko cooking ka bhut shouk tha. Vo humesha hamare liye kuchh na kuchh banati rehti thi aur itni khushi se banati thi na k chahe kitni hi simple dish ho, bhut tasty lagti thi. Kabhi hume bahr ka kuchh ni khane deti thi. Jo cheez khani hai vo maa ko bolo aur vo ghar par banati thi, healthy bhi aur tasty bhi. Mujhe aur baba ko unke hath k khane ki itni aadat thi k hum khud hi bahr ka kuchh nhi khate the. Hume sirf maa k hath ka khana chahiye hota tha" he was continuously smiling as those visions were flashing in front of his eyes.

"Pta hai naaz, mai maa k paas khda ho jata tha jab vo khana bnati thi" he looked at her like a small excited baby.

"Achha to tumne khana bnana maa se hi seekha?" she asked involving in the conversation.

He looked at her in a daze as she called his mother "maa". It felt so complete inside how she accepted his family which was not even there.

"Haan maa se hi seekha lekin kabhi banata nhi tha. Bas unko dekh dekh k seekh gya" he said looking at her with a warm smile on his lips.

"Naaz" he whispered her name making her hum gesturing him to continue.

"Agar maa aaj humare paas hoti na, tumhe bhut pyaar krti" he breathed those words with a smile on his face. The smile which depicted his numerous emotions. The emotion of pain was the strongest.

Tears brimmed in her eyes seeing him inhaling sharp breathes to hold back his tears in his eyes.

She could feel his pain as she too had lost her mother at a small age. But her case was different. Her father was there to hold her, to love her, to take care of her. But he, he was all alone.

"Vo aaj bhi tumhare paas hai sidharth, humare paas hain vo. Tum abhi unko yaad kar rahe ho na, vo bhi tumhe dekh rahi hain jahan bhi hain" she caressed his cheek nodding her head at him trying to comfort him.

Kissing her hand he smiled at her effort. She was truly an angel in his destructive life trying to soothe him.

"Vo 4 saal bhut acche the naaz. Mai, maa, baba apni uss chhoti si family mai bhut khush the. Kabhi socha hi nhi tha k mujhe maa baba k bina bhi kabhi rehna hoga" he suddenly gripped her hand so tight.

He was opening his heart infront of slowly but was still controlling his emotions. Those tears which he was holding back needed to come out to relieve him.

"Kya hua tha sidharth, please bolo. Jo bhi hai dil mai sab nikal do. Mai hun na yahan, mai sunungi tumhe sidharth. Let it go" she rubbed his hand as he was feeling difficult to breathe all of a sudden.

Those flashes were coming infront of his eyes which always takes his peace away. His heart was starting to feel that restlessness inside which always leads him to drink to calm himself.

That urge to drink was engulfing his insides. He needed to drink to soothe that feeling inside. He desperately needed a drink. His mind couldn't remove those flashes while his body needed the same doze to bear that pain which he always used. Pushing her hand away he got up hastily to get a drink.

She was startled seeing him behaving like this. The way he was getting anxious was breaking her heart.

"Sidharth kahan jaa rahe ho,kya chahiye?" she held his arm as he moved towards the door.

"Naaz, yahin ruko...mai aa jaunga thodi der mai" removing her hand hastily he walked out of the room knowing she would not let him drink and he couldn't control that urge.

She ran behind him worried for him as he entered in the same room he was drinking yesterday.

Her heart was thumping loudly inside with the thought of him drinking again. She wouldn't be able to see him like that again.

"Sidharth" she shouted his name as he took out a bottle from cupboard. Running towards him she tried to take the bottle from him.

"Naaz jao yahan se aur bottle chhodo" he pushed her hands away from the bottle and opened the bottle hastily.

"Sidharth chhodo isse, mat pio please" she held the bottle again trying to snatch from him. He held her hand which was on the bottle pushing it away harshly.

Before she could hold the bottle again sidharth started to drink restlessly making her heart stop beating for a second.

She never saw him this desperate to drink. She realised yesterday too he came to this room like this only. He must have felt that desperation inside to drink alcohol that time too.

"Sidharth please, chhod do isse" holding his hand she stood on her toes to take the bottle but wasn't able to snatch from him.

Taking a big sip he inhaled a sharp breath while she could see his eyes brimming again.

"Sidharth" she whispered his name as her eyes too were filled with tears.

Taking a deep breath she held his shoulder and pulled the bottle from his hand snatching it away.

"Shehnaaz" shouted sidharth as he needed to suppress that urge inside of drinking. He needed to drink. Why couldn't she understand?

"Sidharth mai nhi de skti... please mat pio" she pleaded holding the bottle tightly not wanting him to snatch it from her.

He took a step towards her to take the bottle. She knew he could easily take it from her. She quickly ran towards the washroom making him frustrate.

"Naaz stop" sidharth ran behind her. Reaching the washroom she started to pour the drink into sink.

"Don't naaz" entering inside he took long steps towards her while she moved back hiding the bottle behind.

"Give it back naaz" his voice was strong and stern. She nodded her head in no making him pull his hair in frustration.

"Please naaz bottle dedo..bhut dard ho raha hai andr" he almost pleaded her for the drink. His hand started to rub his chest to suppress that feeling inside while he was desperate to get the bottle back.

This was the last bottle he had as the remaining he had drank yesterday. He had avoided to stock much alcohol in the house because of her and now this the only bottle he had.

Tears rolled down her eyes seeing his condition. He was in extreme pain and she wasn't able to do anything. She couldn't give him the bottle. It would only harm him. He needed to leave this and she will help him.

"Sidharth ye sharaab dard kam nhi kar skti, please mai hun na tumhare paas, mujhse share kro please" she tried to make him understand hiding the bottle back. She wanted to take his pain away anyhow.

He took a step towards her while his eyes were getting red. She knew she was angering him but she couldn't help.

She took a step back colliding with the wall behind. Another step of his and she was caged in between his arms and the wall behind.

"Sharaab dard kam nhi kar skti lekin dard sehne ki himmat deti hai. Jab bhut dard ho na andar, to sharab ki zroorat padti hai naaz" leaning on her he breathed every word on her lips while she couldn't stop herself from closing her eyes.

His hand slid around her waist moving to her back and the next moment she felt him taking the bottle from her hand.

He hastily took the bottle close to his mouth but before he could take a sip, she snatched the bottle again.

This time the bottle was on the floor all broken.

Seeing the broken bottle lying on the floor he clutched his fist. She should not have done that.

His eyes moved to her and that extreme anger in those eyes of his did scare her. He was extremely angry and frustrated at that very moment.

"You did wron...." his words died in his mouth as her soft lips pressed against his rough ones.

Note-

This life of sidharth will take one more chapter to reveal fully.

Hope u like the chapter.