Gabriel

In college, my room was a revolving door of men. I was so busy with men, my first roommate couldn't stand living with me and requested a room change. My next roommate barely said a word and spent most of his time in the library. I had another roommate who was so homophobic I was the one who requested a room change. Because I didn't want to make a big stink about it, I didn't specify the exact reasons why I wanted the change. By my junior year of college, I'd moved out of the dorms. I fell  madly in love with my philosophy professor, Mark Savard, until I discovered he was married with three kids.

When I was Juniper's age, I'd just finished medical school and was about to enter my first year as a resident. I thought I was in a committed relationship with Kevin Cunha until he suggested a threesome with himself and his other boyfriend. I found out he didn't just have one other boyfriend, but three others. I believed in monogamy and wasn't a polyamorous type of guy. If I loved someone, I couldn't fathom sharing that person with anyone else.

Dennis Cormier nearly bankrupted me. At the time, he broke my heart when he disappeared, ghosting me when ghosting was first a thing. In retrospect, his ghosting prevented me from truly going bankrupt.

It'd been a year since Cole was sentenced to prison for seven years, a month before he was found dead in his cell. As I've said a million times before, Juniper was unique and unlike any other man I'd ever dated. Our relationship had gotten serious, and to the point where I considered permanently moving in with him. My only hesitation was his father and the fact his father owned the cabin where Juniper lived. I would have preferred to either rent my own place or buy a house. Mr. Doiron made it sound like he didn't care if I lived there, just as long as I paid rent, but it still didn't feel quite right. I was a thirty-five year old man and physician, not a recent college graduate.

I'd never missed a Passover Seder with my family. The first two nights were the most important. I made it for the first one. Before I left for New York, Juniper asked me if he could come with me "because I've never been to a Seder," he said. I was only in town for a night, so I didn't feel like it would be the right time to introduce Juniper. Besides, I wasn't sure how my mother was doing. Whenever I spoke with my father, he never painted an accurate picture. Within the past six months, my mother stopped being the overbearing Jewish mother. I kind of missed hearing from her multiple times a day. I never thought I'd miss the nagging.

Since last autumn, my mother lost at least fifty pounds. She had been overweight, but the loss still concerned me. A lot of things concerned me, but I did nothing about it. She had Parkinson's disease and that would never change unless there was a miraculous cure. Aunt Ruth waited until the very end of the meal to let me know how she really felt. 

"I wish you'd come home," she said. "What's so great about Maine, anyway? Your family needs you here."

"Oh, stop it, Ruth," my mother said. "He's got himself a girl. He's happy. Let him be happy." My parents were under the impression I was seeing a woman named Juniper and I never said anything to clarify that Juniper was, in fact, a man.

"Thanks, Ma," I said. "I am happy."

"You're not planning on having children, are you?" Aunt Ruth said.

"Stop it, Ruth. This doesn't pertain to you," my father said.

"The topic has never come up," I said.

Aunt Ruth shook her head, gathering up the dirty dishes. "I'm gonna take a walk," she said. "I just have to say one thing, Gabriel. If Juniper is so important to you, then bring her here. Your parents need you, Gabriel. There's just so much I can do to help. Your father will never ask you for help."

"Because I don't need help," my father said. "Everything is fine. Go take a walk, Ruth. We're fine, Gabriel. We haven't seen you this happy in a very long time. We want you to stay happy."

So far, I hadn't considered asking Juniper to move to Brooklyn. I couldn't imagine him living in a city and saying goodbye to Sandy and country-living. In the summer, he worked as a river guide five to six days a week. Would he ever give that up? I didn't want to ask him to give it up.

After my brief visit with my parents, Juniper picked me up at the airport. He offered to take me out to dinner, but I just wanted to go home and let him make me dinner at my apartment. He decided it would be more fun to take a bath together first. My bathroom was much better and far more modern than his, but that didn't mean I liked his place any less. We'd talked about getting a hot tub for the porch. We'd have so much fun in that hot tub.

"Can you believe you're the first uncircumcised man I'd ever been with?" I said, slipping my finger inside his foreskin. "You love this, right?"

He nodded, his back resting against my chest. He pushed his foreskin back, exposing the head. He sighed, moaning as I ran my finger over the tip. "You're so perfect," I said against his neck. "I love you."

"Yeah, I love you, too," he said. "Keep doing that. Oh, fuck... You're gonna make me come. Wait... wait..." He pushed my hand away and got out of the tub. He haphazardly dried himself off, skidding on the floor of the bathroom on his way out. "Let's go!" he shouted.

I'd seen him naked so many times and I still got excited at the thought of seeing him sprawled out naked on my bed. It never got old. I pounced on the bed in between his legs. Biting his bottom lip, his eyes opened wide as I picked up his foot. He squirmed, moaning as I kissed each toe. "Oh, my God, I love that," he said as I dragged my tongue down the center of his foot. "Suck my balls. Please..."

"You don't have to beg," I said, dropping his foot.

He draped an arm over his forehead as I massaged his dick while sucking one ball, followed by the other. He was in the mood to bottom. I lathered up and guided my dick into his ass.

I bet he'd do anything I wanted if I promised to do whatever he wanted in the bedroom.

But I wanted to enjoy this moment and did what I did best: procrastinate.

***   

Over the past several months, I'd gotten to know Halina since she frequently showed up unannounced. It became clear to me that she used Juniper like so many other people did because he was a good listener, as well as a good talker. She surprised him by hanging a rainbow flag outside the front door. It was her way of showing support.

I didn't know Violet as well, but she'd come over a few times. I didn't feel comfortable having dinner with the entire family in their father's house, not until Juniper smoothed things over with him. They were all fairly close, and they had one thing in common: they disapproved of their mother's life choices and they both 'wanted to be a fly on the wall' when Juniper told her he was gay. 

If Juniper and I wanted a future together, I had to get on Ronald Doiron's good side. I decided to have a chat with him, even though Juniper requested I not talk to him. Violet and Halina both thought it would be a good idea if I had a one on one discussion with him. I found him in the back of his house, chopping wood with an ax. I suspected Juniper had borrowed the chainsaw again. If Juniper saw him chopping wood, he would have given him a lecture and taken over for him. For a sixty year old man with a history of a heart attack, he was pretty strong.

"Could I help you with that?" I asked.

"Nope," he said, bringing down the ax as hard as he could. "My kids think that any type of hard labor will give me another heart attack. What do you think, doctor?"

"Regular exercise is good for your health."

"That's what I tell them. They never listen to me."

"But doing too much can cause strain on your muscles and joints."

"Yeah, I'm not as young as I used to be. What do you want, anyway? Where's Juni?"

"He doesn't know I'm here."

"I'm glad you're here, Gabriel, because I've been dying to ask you something." Gripping the ax, he glared at me. "What the hell are you doing with my son? He's a twenty-six year old, naive, and vulnerable kid who's lived a sheltered life... not like you who's probably seen stuff he'll never see in his lifetime. I have myself to blame for that. He lives in La-La Land. He believes everyone is good and we both know that's bull shit."

"Is that such an awful way to be? I'd like to believe everyone is good, too. He's not a kid and he's not as naive and vulnerable as you think he is. I love Juniper very much. We enjoy each other's company. We make each other laugh. He's the most incredible person I've ever met, and I mean that. I truly, honestly mean that. You should be proud."

"I am proud of him. What makes you think I'm not proud of him?"

"It's not me. It's Juniper who thinks that. You know Juniper. He wants everyone to be happy. If someone's not happy, he thinks he's let them down. He wants to be a good, dutiful son, and I can't imagine my future without him. I was just hoping you'd accept us... or at least tolerate us... maybe look at him when he talks to you because the last time I saw you two converse you avoided his eyes. You couldn't even look at him. You made him feel like garbage."

"You're exaggerating, doctor. He's just sensitive. I'm sorry, but maybe I'm a little old-fashioned. A kid... a man like Juniper... well, I foresaw him with a beautiful woman or wife, not a... not a--"

"A scruffy Jewish man from Brooklyn, right?"

Ronnie sighed, thinking of how he wanted to respond. "I have no problem with you being a scruffy Jewish man from Brooklyn. We're all a little scruffy around here. You fit right in. If I'm being honest with you, I'd rather he not be gay."

"Sometimes I feel that way, too, but I have no choice."              

"I don't want to see him get hurt."

"A woman could hurt him just as much as a man."

Ronnie paused before continuing. "I'm gonna need some time. It's unfair for you both to think I should instantly be over the moon about this relationship. He's my son and I love him and I like you, too. I just wish you were a Gabriella. I don't know what else to say. Speaking of Juni... there he goes...." Ronnie pointed to Juniper on his horse, Sandy, as they galloped in the fields, away from the growing fruits and vegetables. He was fast. As he slowed, approaching us, we must have distracted him because one minute he was on Sandy, the next minute he was on the ground. He fell off the horse, my greatest fear, the reason I won't ride one.

His father trailed behind me as I sprinted to him. "Don't move!" I shouted to him, thinking the very worst. I pictured Christopher Reeve in my mind. His father grabbed Sandy's reins before she ran off.  Juniper didn't listen to me, and was sitting up by the time I got to him.

"I'm okay," he said. "I'll just be sore tomorrow."

"Juni always falls gracefully," his father said. "I told you not to go so fast. One day you're gonna fall and break your neck. I'm tempted to get rid of her."

"Relax, Dad," he said as I helped him to his feet. "I'm fine. Damn, my ass hurts." He winced, rubbing his ass. "Gabriel, what are you doing here?"

"He was just offering some medical advice," Ronnie said. "Why don't you go home and let Gabriel look you over."

"Are you serious? What's going on here? I think I'm losing my mind. I think I have a concussion."

"Go home, Juni. We'll talk later. I'll take care of Sandy."

Still rubbing his ass, Juniper started walking towards his cabin. He limped slightly, wavering back and forth. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he was drunk. I suspected his head bounced against the ground, so he wasn't incorrect when he said he thought he had a concussion. 

"I'm okay," he continuously assured me, even as he tripped on the threshold of his door. "Why were you talking to my dad?"

"Because I wanna be on his good side."

"He doesn't hate you," Juniper said, unbuttoning his shirt on his way to the bathroom. "Rafting starts next month. I can't wait." By the time he got to the bathroom, he was completely naked. "I really wanted to spend Passover with you and your family. I'd never been to a Passover Seder. How's your mom?" I followed him to the bathroom to make sure he wouldn't fall and hit his head again. "Do you think I'll ever get to meet your parents?" He stood against the bathroom door with his arms folded across his chest.

"Yes." I just wasn't sure when.

"Because I don't want to be your dirty little secret. Well, I don't want you telling them I like to be bound and gagged, but you know what I mean. "Come take a shower with me. You can massage my shoulders and ass and maybe my prostate if I'm not too dizzy."

He was too sore and dizzy to play. He let me make dinner while he rested in bed. I wasn't completely useless in the kitchen. As I peeled carrots in the kitchen, I realized I could easily get used to being a husband or live-in partner. I truly felt that Juniper was my other half and that all things happened for a reason.

A/N Thanks everyone for putting up with this very rough draft.