hi hello, how are you? can i give you a warm hug? a kiss? anything? to thank you for sticking with me this far. seriously though, i still can't believe you all took the time of the day to give this book a chance, so thank you to every single one of you, from the bottom of my heart.

thank you for each and every comment, each and every theory, motivation and word of kindness that has been said. without you, this wouldn't have happened at all.

before i start tearing up, here's a few facts about june and its background story!!

I. june was originally inspired by my regret of never taking that ballet class when i was younger sigh. and also by a crush of mine (he had a girlfriend ad that time). a lot of inspiration came out of the conversations we both had up until the early mornings, hint most conversations and scenes between june and jimin have happened in my real life. (yes i was almost hit by a train 3 times lmao.)

II. i never thought i'd be able to write a fluff/romance book. all i've ever written about was horror, gore, and lots of mystery (thank you supernatural fam) but hey! here we are after 10 months of writing yikes. there's first time for everything, right?

III. originally, taehyung wasn't supposed to be in the whole picture. i wanted a fluff book, a coming of age story between a ballerina and another dancer, but thought it was too cliche and asked my sister what would it be like if june had issues with anxiety, depression and had given her conscious a personality? 

then my sister approved, and i had already written the first two chapters.

now before y'all come at me with the ''romanticizing a mental illness'' i'm gonna tell you that this has nothing to do with romanticizing mental illnesses of any sort. in fact, this book had been sitting in my head for way too long because like june, i myself (and i'm sure a lot of you as well) have struggled with mental illness. 

i'm still struggling, still fighting.

and i've been so afraid to publish this, mainly because i thought people wouldn't understand. i thought they'd dislike this so it took a lot for me to finally start writing this seriously. but also this is here to break the stigma of people suffering from mental illness. 

if you're going through anything right now, whether it be an illness, both physical and mental, or just a bad day, know that i'm so proud of how strong you are and how far you've come. never give up on yourself.

IV. all the gifs in this book were made by yours truly.

V. as an imaginary friend, taehyung is also a pile of june's emotions. he is her conscious; her anxiety, happiness, thoughts, mental illness and depression. hence the fact he's always with her, and only her, nagging or showing many outcomes of a certain situation. june is taehyung, and taehyung is june. makes sense?

VI. covers

 i've made like 15+ covers for this book smh and these are some of my favorites. first one being the original one. which one do you like the best?

VII. i've dropped hints throughout the book that taehyung was just imaginary and was scared shitless y'all will figure it out. but thankfully only a handful of people were suspicious and when the 22nd chapter was posted, everyone was shocked and honestly, i was low key proud of myself for achieving that. *high fives myself*

VIII. this book was heavily inspired by the movie ''black swan'', go check it out 11/10 would recommend.

and of course by one and only jimin park, the boy who's got my heart since 2014. the boy who's working ridiculously hard and always being his own worst critic. the boy who i share a big connection with, who i look up to so much. this goes out to him, for being the inspiration he always is, always was, and always will be.

this too, is for my best friend jess, without who this story wouldn't have existed.

IX. the moon prince story was a work of my imagination; one day my brother and i went hiking and the moon was still visible even if it was pure daylight. we talked about how it looked like it had a face and how cool it would be if the moon could actually talk lol. and there you have it. recipe for a disaster of a bedtime story.

X. s/o to debussy's clair de lune, khalid, eden, roy woods, 6lack, post malone, chris brown and lo-fi versions of bts for playing in the background when i was writing.

XI. i was writing as i go, meaning that i had a few ideas, but never knew what would happen before i started writing. i'm not organized at all.

XII. favorite chapters to write were the first two and last one. i wrote them in like 10 minutes, no lies. most of the chapters were written at 4 am, when i was supposed to be asleep but hey, at least something good came out of my insomnia. which are you favorite chapters?

XII.

– jimin never saw taehyung physically. in fact, taehyung has never talked with anyone besides june. chapter 7, taehyung and june are in the store, and taehyung only talks to her. chapter 14, taehyung "hides" in the closet when jimin came to visit june. chapter 17, june doesn't reach the bridge in time to meet taehyung when in reality taehyung was never there in the first place.

– chapter 9, june is reading a fashion magazine in the laundry room, the same one she's reading in chapter 39, probably from where she saw taehyung's face and name. ( hwarang too ) & chapter 38, june is watching the kdrama hwarang. 

– the more time she spends with jimin, the more june realizes she doesn't need taehyung (her bad thoughts) anymore. (chapter 21)

– chapter 28, the red apple jimin threw in june's grocery bag along with 10 other green apples she chose is a metaphor - jimin is a new thing happening in her life that brings changes (10 green apples suddenly became 11 with a single red one)

– jimin is constantly pushing june away, thinking that she wouldn't be able to love him as a person with many issues both mental and physical. because jimin was struggling with addiction.

after their small fight in chapter 37, june started to lose her grip on jimin, that's why taehyung shows up again - a coping mechanism.

– dirty dishes sitting in the sink (chapter 21 & 38) are a sign of june's depression.

    – the bridge in chapter 16 and chapter 41 is the mapo bridge also known as the suicide bridge that crosses the han river in soul, south korea.

    – after overdosing, jimin ended up in the same hospital as jungkook

    – for the theater play, i didn't want to just write about them dancing, i wanted something different, a real play in a book, so the chapters 46, 47 & 49 were written differently, hope i didn't disappoint or confused any of you.

    – june and jimin never ended up together. it's not that they weren't in love with each other; they were, but the concept of love is made of so much more than just two people. this book was never about love between a person and another, it was always about june (about you as the reader) who is on the journey of finding themselves, finding their heart and voice before giving it completely to somebody else.

 – THE ENDING is an open ending. and you can see it in two ways:

one being: this time taehyung is a real person, bringing a new beginning, new life and happiness.

second one: taehyung isn't real, he came back again, which means that mental illness for those who suffer from it will always be a part of them. people will relapse once or twice in their life time, but that doesn't mean that they won't experience life or love ever again.

it's up to you to decide how june will end. 

if there is a question you have, please ask me here! i've seen a lot of people asking for a sequel, a part 2, but we shall see. in the mean time, you can check my other book ''work of art'' which is a little different, more dark and more adventurous. i'll see you over there!

thank you once again, for allowing me to share a story, to be a part of something so amazing. you all are so incredible and i'm so happy to have had a privilege to get to know your fears, the things that make you happy, the things you relate to and thank you for letting me get to know you.

love always,
nika.