타이타닉

HAVING THE PHONE PRESSED AGAINST HER EAR, June tried to keep her balance, one handedly putting on the shoes before storming out the front doors. She had been talking to her mother for about good twenty minutes, their usual one hour session has been cut in half as June kept finishing her mother's sentences, even though she loved the conversations with her. Those few minutes almost making her feel as if she was still there with them, still with her family; still back home.

God, she missed home so much. Not particularly the always freezing bedrooms or the slippery marble stairs, but mostly the people inside that same house, along with the voices and the warmth surrounding them. That, she missed the most.

''Are your friends going to be there as well?'' Her mother asked, not really caring about the people in June's life as much as she did for the few minutes she got to hear her daughter's voice.

''Ma, I told you already. Namjoon invited me, it's a meeting with all the students from campus, from freshman to seniors.''

''Aha.'' The woman probably nodded on the other line. ''And that Namjoon guy, is he nice?''

''Yeah. He's really sweet and even offered to show around town.''

''That's nice.'' Her mother said before taking a deep breath, now her voice filled with a dash of concern. ''But June, honey, please take care of yourself and don't-''

''Don't do drugs. Go it, like always mama. I promise.''

''I love you.'' She sang from the other line.

''Love you too.'' With a small bye leaving her lips, their phone call ended as June found herself standing in front of the university. Eyes carefully scanning the name of it, she was making sure her feet were standing at the right place.

June was, without a doubt, more anxious than ever before. It was weird to think that she even agreed to something like this, something she has always been afraid of. However, if she wanted things to change, she needed to do this. She needed to take huge steps like these in order to beat the suffocating anxiety.

Otherwise she would be stuck in a vicious cycle, living the same every day life within the four walls of her tiny apartment.

So if meeting new people meant a step towards a better, healthier life, she was willing to do it. Mostly because Taehyung would be the one pushing her into doing it, telling her that no one was going to die, that nothing bad was going to happen if she started talking to people, making new friends and actually enjoying the social life.

But Taehyung wasn't here this time.

With her fists clenched she would purse her lips in a firm line, almost willing to turn around and go back home where she knows she would be safe.

But Taehyung wouldn't do this. He would go inside and talk to people, she thought to herself after a big breath was taken in and her feet started walking towards the tall building.

Once inside, she followed the wave of mixed voices, both low and high pitched, leading her to an opened classroom, filled with students of all ages.

Alright, you got this. Think of what would Taehyung do.

Her glance skimmed through different pairs of eyes, in hope to find a familiar looking face. The room wasn't as big as she hoped it to be. It was rather small with a wooden floor and bright white walls, making it seem more crowded, the same walls almost closing her in.

One, two, three, now breathe in.

''June!'' A voice called through the crowd of students, its tone scaring away the voices of anxiety.

Smiling lightly in relief, June recognized the dimples and the soft expression belonging to no other than Namjoon as he stood up from the small table among many others, beckoning to her.

For a single second, she had felt safe knowing that she won't be alone.

''You made it.'' His eyes wrinkled, a genuine smile forming his lips.

''Oh, you must be June, right?'' Somebody's voice approached from behind her as she turned around, her view locking with a bright enigmatic smile and puppy-like eyes. ''I'm Hoseok.''

June grinned widely and sat down on the floor right next to Namjoon. Once adjusted to the surroundings she noticed a few bottles of cheap canned beer, some snacks and new faces belonging to both girls and boys.

If you wanted, you could've easily pinpointed the sophomores from the freshman; as the older ones were talking and enjoying themselves, the freshman were glued to the wall and their eyes fixed to the front, scared to even make a contact with another human being.

''Is Kang your last name?'' Hoseok asked as June raised her head, frozen in place.

''Y-yeah, it is.'' She confirmed.

''Kang hoobae, you're a freshman, correct? Tell me about yourself.'' The same boy extended his arm, grabbing one of the plastic cups and pouring himself a drink while waiting for June to answer his simple question.

But she doesn't.

Like every other time, her anxiety kicked in once again as she just stared blankly through the boy as if he was made of glass. Unable to understand the language while both her mind and existence were being cut off from the world around her.

One minute she would be listening to a conversation but the other, everything would go completely blank. It wasn't her intention to do so, it never was. But it would happen every time, her brain wouldn't even notice when the words turned to silence and her eyes only saw one's lips moving repeatedly.

''Ah Hoseok hyung, she just got here. Let her breathe for a moment.'' Like a cure for the sudden cry for help, Namjoon joined in, patting June on the shoulder softly.

''Sorry, sorry.'' Hoseok chuckled, popping a snack in his mouth. ''Do you drink June? Ever heard of the game called titanic?''

June shook her head as an answer. She was a lightweight indeed, couldn't ignore the fact that she never drank more than half a cup of alcohol on birthday parties or weddings. Drinking wasn't something she enjoyed. ''I've actually never been drunk in these twenty years of my life.''

Namjoon's eyes go wide. ''Really?''

''Well, there's first time for everything.'' Hoseok added, now filling the cups seamlessly. But before explaining the rules of that drinking game, his eyes travel away from the table to meet with June's, his voice sounding sincere. ''I've heard many good things about you.''

As a result, June forced a smile, a big question mark appearing in the back of hear head while feeling rather awkward in this kind of situation, that sentence hitting her unexpectedly. ''W-what? Really?''

Never was a person to take a complement, she'd always laugh it off or just simply stay embarrassed.

Namjoon shared a laugh. ''Our friend talks about you a lot. He's a dancer like you and he's dating Hoseok's sister, but trust me, she's much more prettier than our Hobi here.''

Their friend? A dancer, like her?

Does she know him?

''Ah, Namjoon'', the boy stopped pouring the liquid as he lifted an eyebrow, his dark brown eyes not even blinking. ''Don't make me curse in front of all these freshman.''

Head bowing down, June chuckled silently but the soft smile soon faded away, a sort of concern painted across her face. ''Hoseok seonbae, that friend of yours, do I know him?''

''I think so'', Hoseok nodded in confirmation, popping another snack in his mouth, now chewing loudly and sharing how open minded and comfortable he was. ''He says you two are practicing for a certain play at the theater.''

A gulp.

''And he mentioned something about how he met you, that you used to watch him dance or something. He said it was cute.''

Holy crap.

If embarrassment was a colour, June's whole being would be painted in it. Hiding behind her hair, she was unable to look the boy in the eyes.

No way.  

Before a single word could've been spoken, a young couple entered the crowded classroom. With their fingers intertwining, both of them smiled widely. Lost hearts now walking towards the small table the group of students were sitting at. The brown haired boy's eyes widen, he then soon released the girl's hand from his touch as a light shade of pink flushed his cheeks.

''June? What are you doing here?''

Like the Titanic, the ship that sank a long time ago, her heart was shattered as if hit by the cold and merciless ice berg and was now left sinking in thousands of pieces.

It was him. Jimin was that friend Namjoon mentioned before. And he was dating Boyoung, Hoseok's sister. 

. . .

a/n: seonbae: title for calling senior colleagues politely. hoobae: title for calling junior colleagues. also titanic is a popular korean drinking game. i hope you all are doing okay and enjoying this so far. thank you for taking the time of your day to read this. please leave a vote and comment, it keeps me motivated. i love you. ♡