"I think it's time you let go of your 7th grade crush on Rose." Eva turned the corner and drove down the street to my apartment.

"I can't, I just can't let go."

"Well, Jun! She doesn't even know you guys went to the same school! She just now started to notice you." She replied exasperated. Deep inside I knew she wanted the best for me, but another side of me knew she was being selfish. All Eva wanted was for me to love her as much as I love the person who doesn't even know I exist. But after all I put Eva through I wouldn't be surprised if she said I didn't have the right to be happy.

"Eva, let's not go there please..." I sighed in annoyance. The car stayed quiet for the rest of the ride.

Eva confessed to me freshman year of high school, but my heart was set on someone else. I rejected her feelings and told her that it would pass. We became friends and all was fine, or so I thought. Sophomore year of high school, she begged me to give her a chance, she promised to help me let go of my one sided crush. I didn't want to make things awkward with her, since she was my only friend at the time, and we had been friends since 4th grade. So, I said yes.

That was the biggest mistake, I had ever made.

We did everything a couple would do.

We went on dates, cuddled and even had our first time with each other. That's when I started to get scared. Every time she said I love you, it made me feel like shit because I just couldn't say it back. I had in some way been using her, and making her believe that I felt the same way she did. So junior year of high school, I broke it off. I just couldn't take it any longer. The whole point of dating someone is to love and be loved, but when it's a one way road, either side could be hurting.

Eva cried, and told me she was happy just having me by her side, that she didn't need me to love her. I knew all of that to be a lie. No one in this earth would give love to not be given the same amount back. And that is what I owe Eva, I owe her love.

I didn't love her when we first kissed,

I didn't love her when she was sick,

I didn't love her when she gave herself to me.

I remember the days when she had to take anti-depressants and the days she missed school. Even though she never said anything and acted like everything was alright, I knew she cried herself to sleep every night. It was all because of an asshole like me. I broke this girl, and I can only fix her with my friendship. I couldn't give her the love she deserved, and I still can't.

Although, I love Rose, I don't think I deserve her. I don't think I deserve to love anyone, not after hurting Eva to the point of almost killing herself. I don't want the past to repeat itself. Yet, it is because of me that Rose is going through this hell...

"Come on let's go for some coffee." I got off the car and allowed time for her to follow. I came to this cafe very often. Eva liked the Americano they made here, so usually we would come over, and on rare occasions I would treat.

We waited for a while in line and Eva started talking, "Hey, Jun? I want to tell you something..."

"Yeah, what is it." I encouraged her to continue but it seemed like it was something serious because she was having a hard time telling me.

"I-"

"Hey Jun!" Interrupted a very familiar, voice from behind me. I turned around a bit surprised to see Rose actually call out to me. She was waving excitedly at me, and I returned the wave with an unconscious smile...

"I take it back." Eva said, quickly changing the topic. I don't know whether she was talking about earlier or if that's what she wanted to tell me. I turned to give her a disapproving look, why was she playing mind games? Rose broke into a fit of laugher, and it was like music to my ears. It was sweet and amusing at the same time.

"Do you come here often?" I asked her, as a smile I couldn't hold back spread throughout my lips. Just having her near me made me happy.

"Yeah-kinda. My apartment building is right across from here." She answered, I thought I had seen her here several times before.

"Let me get you something..." I smiled urging her to the counter so she would place her order.

"What a gentlemen! Why don't you pay for my stuff too?" Eva complained crossing her arms over her chest. Rose looked at me as if she was asking a question with her eyes, but I couldn't quite figure out what it was.

"Fine." I whined which came out more like a sigh. They both gave me their orders and I went to go place them. A caramel macchiato, and two Americanos. I went back to where they stood waiting as our beverages were made.

"Do you guys come here often?" Rose asked curiously, she looked between me and Eva for an answer.

"Well coincidentally my apartment building is right in front of here, so yeah I do. She only comes here when she comes over." I answered, padding Eva on the head like I'm used to. Of course she is one to smack me hard on my side, and I am one to respond by tickling her.

"You guys are such a cute couple!" Rose suddenly pitched in. I could tell there was something else lying underneath it all.

No

Rose

Don't

Think that

The joking atmosphere we had completely disappeared because of the things we know. Because we did date, and that brought tension from the past. Because the girl I like, believes I like someone else, and because this same girl is the reason I couldn't work it out with Eva, "We are not dating. She is my best-friend..." I couldn't face Rose, so I went to go get our order. I couldn't face her because I felt disappointed that maybe rose didn't care, if she was my friend or my girlfriend. But I mainly left because I had friend zoned Eva for the second time in my life...and by the look on her face I could tell I broke her a little again.

I came back with the drinks and distributed them. Eva took her coffee and said she needed to go sort some things and that she would be back later.

Liar.

"So your apartment building is the same as mine?" I started trying not to release the tension that was left behind.

"What? Seriously? We live in the same building! What's your apartment number?" She seemed taken aback by the fact that we lived in the same building. Well I wasn't because I have known she lived there for a while now. Every time she walks out to class, or every time HE comes and goes I have seen it.

"2A."I replied, "What is yours?"

"Mine is 3C. Come visit." She chuckled.

We talked for the rest of the afternoon and she talked on and on about the struggles in science class. How she wished she had known I was in several of her classes so we could do group study. I listened, that's all I did. I listened because I don't know when I will be able to have her talking to me like this. I was in a daze because that's the way she makes me feel. I am soring with every word that comes out of her mouth, with every movement of her lips, the way her eyes close to savor the taste of her drink.

I was melting like the caramel in her coffee, and the sudden pang of its bitterness brought me back...

I owe you too rose

After rose returned to her apartment I waited outside for Eva, to come get me. We were going to the movies, but I don't know what movie we were going to see. When she finally came we went to the movies and 2 hours later I was back in the same spot getting off and bidding her goodbye.

"See you tomorrow?" I asked, giving her a smile of appreciation.

"I guess!" She let out a sigh.

Before she could take off, someone come over to us calling her name, "Eva! Long time no see!"

I looked over at the guy now standing next to me. I knew all too well who he was, since he held the heart of the person I loved the most. I can't believe he is leaving already.

"Hey what's up Rick?" Eva greeted him, with a smile.

"I see you're still hanging out with this loser." He smirked over at me. Seriously, this guy doesn't understand that high school has been over for 3 years now.

"I see you still don't have a future." I sarcastically smiled back at his remark.

"Well I still have the girl that you like, in my bed. Let me tell you she is a wild one." He replied, and I almost lost my shit. How could he downgrade her in that way? Rose obviously loved this Dickhead but he just uses her. I couldn't understand why she would let anyone use her.

"Woah! Hold on there! Rick either get lost or quickly tell me what you want." Eva warned him, before I could do anything to murder this pig.

"Well, now we are talking! I need a ride...and we also need to talk." the last part of his sentence caught my attention. What did he need to talk about with her? 

Eva reacted a bit to quick to his statement by immediately saying,"Get in! Before I change my mind, Rick." She didn't dare look at me, as if she was hiding something. What is happening?

There he goes leaving her again

With that Rick sat in the car and they drove away. I stood there trying to make something of the situation. Anything. But I just couldn't wrap my mind around it, I was too shuck.