Jumoke

SOMETIMES, TO LOSE weight, all you need is a misfortune. It was my seventh day in the clinic and I could already tell there was a visible difference in my body weight. Perhaps because of my loss of appetite or my excessive milk production, the pain relief I was given did little or nothing to mitigate my distress.

Slowly, my eyes swept over my room of seven days with my body regaining its sense of touch. A calloused yet familiar hand was in mine, tracing the limb to its owner led me to the handsome face of Kunle. His eyes were closed, so it gave me a chance to study him; his face was stern yet peaceful with slight wrinkles on his forehead. The past few years might not have been as kind to him as it was to me but his hard work had finally paid off.

How long had he been here?

Squeezing his hands gently, I watched as his eyes fluttered open and his lips broadened into a smile. The cold metal of a ring on his finger rubbed against mine and our gaze met, while his orbs held uncertainty, mine held happiness, joy for the fact that he did manage to move on, to settle with someone who really loved him.

The atmosphere was filled with tension so thick; you could slice it with a knife. I was happy to have him here with me and I didn't want him beating himself up for my display earlier.

"Someone is learning," I teased, laughing out loud in mirth.

When he caught on to my meaning, his shoulders visibly relaxed and he raised his palm up to stare at the simple gold band on his fourth finger, the smile on his lips mirroring mine.

"Yes, I have to." His forehead creased, his lips parted open before he added, "I'm sorry if I led you on."

"I'm sorry for shouting at you," and I really was. "It was selfish of me to think your life will be on hold for me."

He shrugged in response and the air grew ten times lighter; we could never be lovers anymore but maybe we could still remain friends. Giving him the go-ahead to press the button, we sat in silence until Dr. Luscious arrived.

"Hi, how are you feeling today?" His fingers hovered above my wrist, as if sceptical about touching me. I couldn't blame him though; I would have also been reluctant to touch the woman who accused me of baby murder.

"Fine," I replied with a smile and as if on cue, a nurse strolled in with a cart containing ice packs, leaving soon after.

The delivery of a stillbirth didn't alter my milk production, my nipples continued to leak like there was Baby Jadesola to feed. Dr. Luscious had proposed the application of ice packs or a bag of frozen peas covered in a light cloth or cabbage leaves to the breasts to get relief from the discomfort and to suppress the breastmilk. So far, it was working but it wouldn't be until a few more weeks before it stopped.

"Can I give it out instead?" I asked in a small voice. The idea had occurred to me after I woke up from the medically induced coma that lasted 72 hours; we had hoped it would delay my body's milk production but it had only done the opposite.

Kunle coughed, shifting uncomfortably in his seat; for a moment, I had forgotten he was here. Biting the insides of my cheeks to keep from laughing at his comical expression, I mouthed an insincere sorry to him.

"You can donate it to motherless babies' home, it would go a long way in helping those who have lost their mothers." He handed the ice pack to me, not bothering with the instructions because it was one I had heard too often.

"If you decide to go ahead with the donation then you will be saving so many lives." He paused at the door, his eyes flickering from me to Kunle, "either way, you are a very strong woman."

Silence hung in the air after his leave, the only interruption being the sound of our breathing.

"You need to go and rest, I'm sure your wife is worried sick about you," I told him without a hint of bitterness, fingers already itching to apply the icepack.

The smile he gave me told a secret, one that everyone but myself was aware of. "She's fine. Actually, everyone is outside, just waiting for you to give the order for them to come in."

I chuckled, suddenly feeling terrible for not thinking about my children. "Please, let them in."

He noted the change in my countenance but chose to say nothing, departing the room to bring everyone in.

"Mummy!!!" I recognised the voice before I saw the face, carefully placing the icepack at arm's length in preparation for Chime's weight.

My vision was blinded by a head full of ribbon and a face that quickly morphed into that of Ada. Then, a strange but pretty lady who I assumed was Kunle's wife sauntered in, followed by Kunle. Tucked in his arms was a baby that couldn't have been more than six months of age. Franklin was the last to walk in, skilfully reaching for Chime before he could jump on the bed.

Kunle's wife seemed shy and her eyes avoided mine as she edged closer to the bed. I was grateful that she didn't cling to him, rather they stood on opposite sides of each other with her eyes fixed on my hands as if seeking permission to hold it.

Smiling up at her, I reached for her hand, admiring the matching gold band on her finger. She exuded a calm that matched Kunle's, a subconscious peaceful aura and it was at that moment, I understood why he was smitten by her. I felt a kinship with her, the blossoming of a new friendship that would exist once I was finally over my loss of Kunle.

"Mummy. See my new friend, her name is Awinola." Chime said, his finger curling around the hem of the baby's cloak.

We all laughed, her name was actually Arinola.

"I brought her to see our new baby, where's she?" He continued and the whole room grew quiet.

Ignoring the look of pity in the adult's eyes, I fumbled with my words. "She's not here. She has gone to se-"

"Why don't you let your mummy rest, she's very tired." Kunle's wife's voice interrupted me. I gave her hand a squeeze, wishing now that I had bombarded Kunle with enough questions about his wife.

"Sorry mummy," Chisom apologized with puckered lips; he looked so adorable, there was no way I could stay mad at him.

Ada who had been watching the exchange, quietly walked up to me, rubbing the back of my palm against her cheek. Sometimes, it was hard to figure out what went on in that head of hers but it was moments like this that made me appreciate her thoughtfulness.

She wore matching outfits with her brother, an Ankara jumpsuit paired with blue sandals. Amidst chatters, I was able to find out that Aunt Tokunbo, Kunle's wife had not only been taking care of them, but they had also been living in their house for the duration of my stay here.

No one spoke about Emeka, the only information that was volunteered was his day of arrival which was in a week's time.

**********

Everybody was gone, or so I thought until the door flew open and in walked Tokunbo. She was alone and a part of me feared she was here to scare me off for stealing some of her family's time.

"Hey," it was her smile and smooth voice that broke down the walls I had subconsciously started to build back up.

"Hi," I replied. "Where is everyone?"

"They already left." She twiddled her thumbs, as if unsure of her next statement, "are you okay?"

"Honestly?" She nodded. "No, and I don't think I'll ever be."

Her fingers reached for my face and I flinched, thinking the worse until her limbs connected with my cheek, wiping the tears I didn't realize had seeped from my eyes.

"How long have you two been married?" I asked after what felt like ages, eager to wipe that glum look from her features.

"Three years," her face lit up in a smile, the kind Kunle had when he spoke about her.

"Arinola is your first child?" I queried further, wanting the beam on her face to last a while longer.

"Errr . . ." her expression fell and I gave myself a mental knock for prying. "Yes, she's our miracle baby."

Her reply was confusing but I didn't want to be nosy, so when she parted her lips to offer an explanation, I made no move to stop her.

"I have Polycystic ovarian syndrome."

What?

She laughed, I must have said that out loud. "It's a complex hormonal condition that affects a percentage of women of reproductive age; we had Arinola through IVF."

"Wow! I didn't know that."

"You were not supposed to." She chuckled at my shock; even an issue like that was not enough to dampen her good spirits.

"How does Arinola feed?"

Her wavering glance told me all I needed to know. Then, I was hit by an epiphany; I knew nowwhat I had to do, how I could help Kunle and his wife.