some kind of suicide note

dear mother and father,
dear brother, dear sister,
dear afternoons in the sun, dear daises
dear leather jackets and old photos,
dear paints and poetry and plants,
dear socks and sadness,
dear everything i have ever loved,
dear you-
you won't find me here.
i have everything yet to do,
see me climbing the mountains, wrestling bears
see me hiking the great crests of all the places i've never been
see me standing, a king over this land
i am not yet ready to leave. see me blue, black water hands
moving in a semblance of a memory,
see me in all the places you've forgotten.
burn the photos. i do not exist there.
see me hide-and-seek playmate, hands reaching
one after the other over the great oak i was too afraid to climb
see me launching over cliffs, falling into endless blue
see me red-rust laughing,
see me crawling out of the tunnel, see the trees
splintering into sunlight piercing through
our hearts, see me in a sea of birds,
see me as the masses, see me in every face
we've forgotten, see me golden-youth burning, see me
alight, my lungs shattering as i take in too much of
all i've wanted, the sun splitting under my longing,
see me cheeks hot raising you to the heavens saying praise this
praise this and all i've loved, hydrogen light as we, now eternal
glow, the sun no longer above us but inside, 'cause baby,
we're outta the trees, baby we made it.

see me as everything i have not yet done.