"I have no idea who you are! Why are you doing this to me?!?! Oh, god! Make him stop! Oh, please! I have a family! Please! Don't!"

Michael watched the man's greasy side eyes. Placed his sardonic knife along the tender parts of the throat. Lightly carved the letter X under his stubbly chin. Blood dribbled down upon his light bright black shirt, crumpled under his grey peacoat that was now missing a few buttons. The man screamed. Eyes flickered open wide. Nostrils flared. Grunted. Michael's hand gripped disheveled hair to hold that fatherly face above the tip of the switchblade. Contorted a half grin and blew a whistle into Bob Coal's ear.

It was easy carrying Bob back to the portal house. Michael and Judith held him up as if they were helping a marionette walk. He was unconscious the whole time, even when they bounced the back of his skull on each step dragging him down into the basement. Bob didn't wake until Michael began cutting.

And while Michael was cutting, Judith witnessed her abuser's behaviour. His movements. His anguish at being carved and flayed in places. Michael was apparently an expert at such delicate detail work. He was very creative. It was in these moments that the graveyard girl truly knew just how deadly her Leonard boyfriend could be. At the same time, Judith had second thoughts about who this horking image of her father actually was. Bob was definitely her father but it seemed to her that he also wasn't that particular piece of shit. But she figured he had the same kind of oder leaking from him.

"Ok, my man. He's going to take me and you to see the family. I want to see that bitch and I want to see my sister, Terra."

The man stopped blubber crying and planted his brown stone eyes upon Judith. He looked at her like he was acknowledging her for the first time, like he was waking up under the setting sun of his predicament.

"Terra's sister? Alice never told me that she had a child before Terra. You do look similar but you're fucking evil! I'd rather die than let you harm them!"

"I'm not going to pull a single thread from their stitches. I love my sister. I'll leave mom alone. How many times have you done the unforgivable to Terra? You motherfucker."

"What do you mean, unforgivable? I love my daughters and my son. I would never do something unforgivable to them. They are the greatest joy in my life."

Judith crouched down very close to Bob Coal. His eyes were filled with fear and rage. She studied his stare. Bob held all the gravity surrounding their orbit. Witnessed until he blinked at the heat of Judith's two green eyes like suns vanquishing the anger of his conceptions of the manifold. Relaxed his mannerism. Loosened his gripped fear of the freshly past moments.

Michael still had the blade at Bob's throat. Watched Judith's way of things. Her eyes were mesmerizing. Large and terrible as if she had never blinked in her life.

"And in my life, you were the worst motherfucker that I ever killed. But I know you won't get my meanings because you're not him and you don't know what I know. That motherfucker's dust and ash and shit. You just look like he used to look. I understand that. But I have to know for certain that you aren't just telling me fibs. I've to know so I've to see Terra with my own two eyeballs. Either you're taking me home, or I'm listening to you scream for days in this empty basement before we tear you apart."

He was shocked. Anxiously confused by her words. Didn't know what she meant but he knew what she meant. Closed his eyes. Began whisper weeping. Praying to some kind of imagination.

Michael looked at Judith. She shook her head. He nodded and put his knife away. Let the man go and stood up. Stretched his arms and legs to get the crouching rust out of them. Slid behind Judith as she stood up.

"You have to promise...you have to promise you won't hurt them...and I'm not taking him anywhere near them."

"Fine. It's a deal. You'll take me there and I'll say "hi" and then decide if you're a liar or something else."

Michael wrapped his arms around Judith's waist and whispered into her ear,

"I'm beyond convinced that you can handle this yourself, but I'll come if you want me to."

"I'd love if you could accompany me on this tour of the simulation my man, but a deal here is a deal there. And I've made one with this motherfucker. So no."

She could feel Michael nod behind her. Kiss the back of her neck. Rubbed her shoulders. Could feel his nose smell her skin. Sighed just enough to make Judith want his sculpture in her on the basement floor.

"Take care then, my tasty treat. I'll be waiting here for you and I promise that I won't go through the portal until you're back in my arms. But if you take too long the deal's off and I'll come and find your sweet ass with all of Hell following behind me. Then again, maybe I'll go pay some family members a visit while you're out. I need to see David in this world again. I have a bone to pick away at him with as I've always and forever will, it seems"

Judith turned in Michael's arms. Deeply kissed him. The kind of kiss that could instantly wake up butterflies in bellies. The kind of kiss that could motivate planets with passionate atmospheres to revolve around suns and gods who look like nymphs of swallowed absinthe forests.

Judith let go of her man. Moved backward toward her father while still watching Michael's eyes. Smiled at him like eternity if it had an ending.

Grasped her father's partially flayed and bandaged wrist. Jerked him hard to his feet. Bob Coal let out the pain stricken cry of an animal. Stopped short of vomiting in such blatant brutality.

"Let's get going down the street and I'll tell you everything you ever did to me."

Judith pulled him up the creaky, shifting stairs. Couldn't bring herself to look back at her lover. If she had, she wouldn't have left that basement. But it's another basement she was watching from in this moment layered upon the past. The basement that was the setting for the childhood Hell she survived.

When they were upon the back door, Judith pushed her father hard as she could into the open air darkness of the simulation's nighttime silhouettes with it's backside streetlight vignettes. He fell hard. Might've sprained his uncut wrist. Bob continued crying a mixture of pain and guttural terror. His twitchy mouth mumbled hopeless confusion. Anxiety of the future was tugging a lineal rope with the past's depression.

Judith kicked him in his ass, over and over until he got up. Began walking her home. Exited the backyard and hiked through the dark alley in the opposite direction that Michael and Judith had previously tread. Judith knew where the house was but didn't know how to get there. The slight differences between the two worlds could get her lost in this simulation if she relied only on her other world memories. Today, she had her guide.

"We going the right way, dad of mine?"

"I'm not your fucking dad. And yes. We live on Moss bay, just past Sevier lane."

"I remember that street being one big mountain of a hill."

"That's right. It has a tunnel going through it as well."

"We used to call it Khazad Dum and imagine goblins coming at us from the other side. I'd just sit and watch the other kids have fun. I was always too sore to have fun. And do you know what I always thought a goblin looked like? You. Always and forever, you."

"I didn't do anything to you! I've done nothing wrong! I love my little ones! I'd never ever harm them. Not ever! I'd rather die!"

"The first time you raped me, you killed my childhood. You stole who I was and made me, molded me into you. I know I'm a monster, father. You killed me and turned me into something along your line of rage and egregious pleasures. You burnt my soul in the fire of your temptations and compulsions. I will always and forever hate you. The you that did this to me. If I could kill you everyday of my life, if I could make you suffer for eternity, I might find a slice of peace."

With these words, Judith finds herself dripping tears upon the black sweater she stole from the portal house. Bob notices the tears and for the first time since his abduction, gives the countenance of belief. The way he looked at Judith gave the impression that he couldn't possibly believe what she's said but doesn't think that she's being dishonest.

"I don't know who you really are or what this really is, but I believe your face. I believe that you think I did horrible things to you. And you seem to have already killed me for it. How does that work, exactly? What's your name?"

"Father of mine, I'm Judith."

Bob halted his steps. Looked at Judith like he was noticing her again for the first time, like a recollection of a recollection. Judith wasn't sure if he was even breathing, much like a statue just standing there, eyes fixed upon something broken in his mind. Time stopped playing with space and left Bob Coal alone for a moment at the outskirts of intuition.

"We lost our first child. Miscarriage. It almost destroyed us. It kinda did. I was...I wasn't medicated back then. I hit Alice. I hit her because she was hitting me. She was furious that I was drunk and blew my entire paycheque on the betting tables. I hit her and she fell hard and we lost our baby. It was all my fault. All my fault. Oh my god. We were going to name her Judith."

Bob fell to his knees. Curled to the ground. Held himself in his own miscarriage of a fetal position. He shook and cried. Mumbled words over and over.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I can't make it right...I'm so sorry..."

Judith stared down at him. Found that she didn't hate him in his moment of impotent pleading. Maybe she didn't really hate him anymore. Her father would never have apologized for hitting her mother or destroying a pregnancy. Maybe this man was telling her the truth about his love for his family. But he did what he did and Judith was never born because of it. All correlation and causation aside, her non existence in this world might have been a blessing for her family. If her father could afford medication for the monster within him, maybe the Coal's were doing ok. But she had to know for sure.

Doubt plays with it's shadows.

"Get yourself up and keep walking, dad."

He looked up at her face for a long time, like he was placing her in a photo album or watching an old home movie. Witnessed what is while looking for a piece of what was.

Judith made a kicking motion. Bob squirmed to his knees. Climbed to his feet.

"Ok. Ok. I'm up. I'll walk. I'll keep walking."

The wide autumn streets of metaphorical burning bushes held the sky like a poor witch's white grey feet to a tickling, skin melting flame. The morning sun never really rose but sort of did; the world just undimmed its unmedicated, foggy countenance.

The open world of sidewalk conurbations and driving lanes became smaller corridors of half walkways with streets only brief enough for one car to drive through at a time due to all the clogged parked cars on either side. Some were tilted up on the sidewalks and looked like metal whale sharks with their burnt out headlight eyes and grill toothed mouths. Judith spat on the hood of one which blocked most of the sidewalk. Awhile later, she climbed up and jumped on a grey hood Oldsmobile boat that trespassed the whole pedestrian path. Made sure to dent the wide obstruction in a few spots with her heel.

"Motherfucker."

"That's what I think."

"I wish I had the axe that I chopped your head off with, just before you tried to rape my little sister."

"Oh my god, Judith! I never did that. That wasn't me! How many times can I say it to you? I didn't..."

"Shut up! I want the axe for these cars. I know it wasn't this version of you. But he's in you. I know this and I can't just let it go. Don't you get it? You look and sound exactly like my worst days. There's no forgiveness and there's no love. I just want to see them to make sure you really aren't that motherfucker. At least not anymore. And I also wish to have my axe in case you are him."

They continued through the Poor district which didn't seem so poor to Judith. In the daylight, the houses were familiar but in far better condition. Some were brand new with their fresh front lawns and greyscale stucco exterior walls. Windows of every home blinked of modern white spectacles upon the hollow darkness of the houses inner depths. A few of the structures were just as Judith recalled. Condemned. Tilted. Missing pieces with families still sleeping hazardously within at this new dawn of the day. Like a simulation within a simulation.

Finally, they arrived at the Coal's place. The outside of the one room structure was well kept with light grey siding. Ironwood bark colour door casing and window pane finishes. Shingles were black but from the ground, seemed to have a sparkly greyish green glisten. Like dried water. Like Judith's hair without the other side of the colour of copper. The front door itself was an old world sandy sort of yellow sallow with a bright blue horseshoe door knocker that tricked Judith's mind for a moment. She thought she saw a green silhouette surrounding it. Then it reminded her of Terra's amputated jaw held within the hand of the bone saw man, like he was knocking on the door. Wondered how Michael was taking the ticking of time on his lone trek, if he was out and about.

They went inside. No knock, Bob just opened the door and went in. Alice was sitting at a floral frock wall, creaking upon noisy hardwood in a rickety rocking chair. Terra and three younger kids sat at a laminate table top under a painting of a dark curling root forest that seemed to hold a dead city in its many branchy grips. The innards of the painting seemed like they were trying to pour their hollow intentions into the house. It was like a picture of a curse breaking through the fourth wall.

Terra abruptly stood up. Pulled a shiny black .357 magnum pistol from her side. Pointed the large barrel at Judith's face. She walked toward Judith and looked at Bob. Terra's face became fury. She pushed Bob toward Alice who stood up and collected him in her arms. Terra looked into Judith's eyes. Judith watched the barrel of the pistol move closer to her mouth.  Judith placed a finger under the barrel and moved toward the gun, directing it onto her forehead. Neither blinked or seemed to breath. Judith was smiling the whole time and didn't know why.

"Don't hurt her, Terra. We have a lot to talk about. So much to talk about. Stuff you should hear. This is Judith, your older sister."

The look on Terra's face was like her father's shock from before, a recollection of a recollection. A keepsake that was never a keepsake.

"Terra is here for a visit, so let's figure this out before she's required to leave for The Factory."

It was her mother's voice. Judith witnessed her. Had the same look on her face as Terra did.

"We don't want any trouble, Judith."

One of the children at the table spoke. A boyish tiny voice full of innocence.

"I'm not here for a war with you, Terra. I'm here to see if our parents are monsters like the two I knew. I'm not from this place, I'm from another, slightly different place. I came through a portal. A doorway. A bent horizon. That's right, lower the gun, I've never meant you any harm, not ever. In my world, it was just the two of us. Mom and dad were horrible. Criminal beasts who hurt us, a lot. I had to kill them to protect you. We survived but barely. Look, I know this is hard to believe, but..."

"I believe you, Judith. I know all about the portals. We're at war with the Leonard's. They're using the simulations to gain resources and so are we. It's a cold war at the moment here but not in many of the other worlds. They're leaving those simulations in ruins. We at least warn the locals and provide them with the technology to save themselves as a barter for their help. Some of them already know about the simulations. Every place is slightly different with slightly different events taking place. I've been through a portal twice and I've had to kill. I've also watched myself die on a recording in one of the two places. I watched as I was shot in the back trying to press a button. My death made no real difference in that world. It changed things but it wasn't the real event that destroyed the Leonards. The people of that world destroyed all of their portals in the hope that they would be left alone. I have no idea if they succeeded. So, Judith, we aren't so different. Mom, dad...this is top secret stuff. Cora? Bj? Jane? Don't you say anything of this out loud to anyone."

Judith wondered if Terra's warning wasn't in itself permission to believe and prepare and so prepare others for what's to come and what has already come.

"There's something else happening, too. Apparently, in these simulations. Some of the simulations. I'm being abducted. I don't know why or what's so important about me since I'm a soldier..."

"I know why, Terra. You weren't just a soldier in that other simulation, that's obvious to me, my girl. In my world, you are a celebrity and a leader in training that would put all of the others soldiers to shame. I get the feeling that you're some kind of keystone or lynchpin, existing in most of the simulations, maybe all of them. Maybe you're the nails in the Leonard coffin and they know it. Maybe you're the hammer."

"What are the Leonards like in your world?"

"We hate them. I hate them."

Judith wasn't sure if she should let them know about Michael, though Bob would mention something about him eventually. Terra would want to know about her father's carved arm and chin.

"Except one. The one who invented the technology for the simulations. The scientist, Michael Leonard. He renounced his faction and isn't interested in destroying worlds. He's a good man and I love him."

Terra's face darkened. Began shaking her head.

"No! No! Are you serious? Are you fucking serious? He's the bone saw man! He's here, isn't he?"

"Who do you think tortured me, Terra?"

Judith's sister looked back at her father. Then pointed the .357 magnum at Judith again. Emerald eyes watched emerald eyes. Terra looked like she meant everything she was about to do.

"Alright, sister. You're taking me to him, right fucking now! And I'm putting a bullet in him."