Kastali Dun

Leah laughed as a spray of soapy water shot up into the air. Saffra swore under her breath, but it was too late, there was already water covering both their gowns. "Well, I tried," Saffra said, looking at the large pot that now bobbed in the big tub of sudsy water.

They were washing dishes now that breakfast was over.

She lifted her forearm to brush a strand of hair from her face that had come free, then together with Saffra and Jocelyn, they fished the large pot and maneuvered it over for easier washing. She went back to the remaining stack of plates, cleaning each with a soapy cloth before handing them off to Jocelyn to dry.

A group of people passed by and thanked them for breakfast, their eyes lingering over her the longest. It had taken a little getting used to—everyone's stares. Pink hair hadn't attracted too much attention back in Esterpine. Sprites were eccentric, some sporting unique hair colors of their own. Hers hadn't exactly shocked them.

What concerned her more was what she'd do when it started to grow out.

"They're just curious," Saffra said, noticing the way she watched the gawkers as they slipped past.

"What? Oh." She handed another plate off to Jocelyn. "Maybe I should just let my natural color grow out. It will attract far less attention."

"Nonsense!" Saffra hunched over the large pot, scrubbing. "I think bright hair suits you. I'd almost find it weird, now that I'm used to seeing it on you."

"Well, unless I can find more hair dye, I probably don't have a choice."

"I'm sure we could concoct something." Saffra hesitated, expression turning thoughtful.

"Saffra is excellent at magical brews," Jocelyn explained. "I bet she could make you whatever you need."

"Do you think you could make it purple instead of pink?" She sucked her lower lip between her teeth.

"Certainly. I'll have to experiment, but I'm confident I can come up with something."

"Come up with what?" Claire appeared and all of them paused.

"Hair dye," she said, taking in her friend's appearance. "You look better. Did you sleep okay?" She'd be lying if she said her bestie hadn't looked extra frazzled lately. It was a relief to see her looking slightly less exhausted.

"I did."

"Good!" She hesitated, then added, "Sorry I didn't come see you this morning. Saffra and Jocelyn looked a little frazzled and I wanted to help."

"She was a great help," Saffra said, finally wrestling the pot out of the water and back onto the table where she could dry it.

"No need to apologize. Hey...can we take a walk? Just the two of us?"

"Of course." She quickly dried her hands then looked at Jocelyn. "You'll be okay?"

"Certainly, I can handle the rest of this. You've already been a great help."

She couldn't help the soft smile that spread across her lips. "Good. I'm glad."

Linking their arms together, they said goodbye to the others and set off through the cavern towards the emptier areas around the perimeter. She caught sight of the command center, King Talon and several others, including Jovari, hovering over the giant table of maps as they discussed strategy. Claire followed her gaze and sighed.

"How are you holding up?" She bumped her bestie's shoulder.

"Oh, I'm managing," Claire said. "I was actually going to ask you the same question. You've seemed distant lately."

Leah opened her mouth—

"And I don't mean the mate thing, either. I noticed even before that. Something is bothering you. Something you aren't telling me about."

It was no surprise that Claire had picked up on it. They'd known each other far too long—could read one another far too well.

"At first," Claire continued, "I thought to leave it alone, but I think it would be better if you talked about it, whatever it is."

"You're right." They neared one of the passages that split away from the cavern. Claire guided them into the dark mouth. Only a sliver of light spilled in, casting them into shadow and offering a bit more privacy. "I guess I've been a bit of a mess ever since coming here. Grappling with a bunch of feelings I know I shouldn't have. I'm trying to turn them off. I guess I kind of hoped they'd go away, that I wouldn't have to burden you with them."

"I'm your best friend, that's what you're supposed to do."

"I know it's just—"

"You're worried about adding more to my already overloaded plate."

"Exactly."

"Talk to me—tell me what you're feeling."

She blew out a breath, her shoulders sagging. There was nothing for it. She might as well get it all out in the open. "Well, I'm feeling a bit of Jealousy, for starters, because you have this amazing circle of people around you who adore you, love you, and support you. I barely know what that feels like. You're the only person I have left. It's not the bad kind of jealousy, because I'm so happy for you I want to cry. It's more of a personal jealousy, and I've bene trying—so hard—to shut it off."

Claire nodded, a look of understanding on her features that made her want to reach out and hug her. "What else?"

"Inadequacy." She took a steadying breath. "I look at what you've accomplished so far, at what the future holds for you—because let's face it, you're a badass and I have no doubt in my mind you're going to beat that asshole Kane—and I'm reminded that I've accomplished nothing. Don't get me wrong, it's motivating, and I can't wait to make something of myself here. I'm hungry for it, you know? But it's also...overwhelming."

"Leah." Claire reached for her arm, squeezing it gently. "In all the years I've known you, you've never shied away from hard work. When I watched you caring for your dad, there were so many times I wanted to cry for you. So many times I looked at the way you helped him use the bathroom. Helped feed him when he was too weak to feed himself. Drove him to every oncologist appointment, even if it was hour on the road. All I could think about was how I would break—that if it was my own dad, especially if my mom was already gone, I wouldn't be able to handle it."

"You could have done it."

"No, I don't think that I could. Or, at least, not with as much grace and fortitude as you did. Gods, Leah. You gave up your entire portion of inheritance money just to care for your dad. You made so many sacrifices, your future, specifically."

"There wasn't any other option."

"Yes, there was! Other people in your shoes would have selfishly kept it and accepted that noting else would fix him. Instead, you invested in research medicine by getting him the pills he needed, just hoping something would fix him."

"I would have paid anything to keep him here." Her voice choked and tears spilled down over here cheeks.

"I know, bestie. I know."

A sob erupted and she pressed a hand over her mouth to stifle it. When she finally got control of herself, Claire said, "Anything else? You know you can tell me. I would never judge you."

"You might for this one."

"No."

She swallowed, growing suddenly self conscious. "I think the real reason I'm feeling all of this is because I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what will happen with my future when it's finally time to make a life for myself. When I start over with a clean slate, there will be no more excuses. Nothing holding me back. I'm in a world I barely know anything about, with very few marketable skills, and a hunger to make something of myself, to satisfy this need for fulfillment burning in my chest. I feel like it's something I should be excited about, not scared about. And I look at you, and see so much fearlessness, and I can't help but admire that."

"Oh, Leah." Claire pulled her into a big hug until they were crying. "No judgement, see? In fact, everything you're feeling makes perfect sense! You make it sound like it's wrong to feel all of these things, but feelings are feelings. Whether they're right or wrong, positive or negative, we're humans. Controlling them isn't easy to do. In fact, I think you're better off overcoming them than controlling them."

She let out a laugh in agreement, already feeling lighter. "I think you're right."

"Sure I am. I'm the queen, remember?"

They both burst into tearful laugher. "Remind me to have you settle every argument I ever have with Jovari from now on. You can use that and he'll have to agree."

"Done." Claire sighed, taking hold of her shoulders so they could lock eyes. "I love you. I'm not going to leave you. No matter what you decide to do with yourself, you will always have a place with me, in my closest circle, so please stop avoiding me."

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." Claire hesitated then said, "Leah, you're my best friend. I want you to continue to be my best friend. We can even turn it into an official title. Best Friend to the Queen. I'll put you on my payroll and everything."

"Stop. You never need to pay me for my friendship."

Claire chewed on her bottom lip. "I know. You've always been there for me, no matter what. And I want to be that for you too. Being queen might have its obligations, but I want to be there when you need me. If I'm ever busy, and you feel like I'm ignoring you, just slap me or something, and I promise I'll snap out of it."

"Deal." She was surprised to realize that her chest felt lighter than it had in weeks. Why hadn't she done this sooner?

Claire grinned. "Feeling better?"

"I think so." She sighed. "I never imagined this would be such an emotional journey. Was it like this for you, when you came here?"

"Oh. You have no idea. An absolute roller coaster."

"Well, that makes me feel a little better, then."

"Good!" Claire linked their arms again and pulled her back out into the cavern. "Now, tell me the latest on Jovari."

She groaned. "Ugh. Don't even get me started with him."

"Well, you met his parents so..."

"So?"

"You know, it's probably a done deal and all that. I mean, meeting the parents is huge!"

"Oh, stop. This isn't our world. And it's not like he purposefully took me home to mom and dad or anything."

"True. But...well, did you like them? You seemed to hit it off."

"I do, actually. I really do, his mom especially. I feel like I've known her all my life. I know that weird to say since we come from completely different worlds—"

"It's not weird at all. In fact, since you were talking about jealousy, I have to admit I'm a little jealous of you."

"What do you have to be jealous of?" It seemed reddicoulous that Claire could feel that way.

"You got to meet Jovari's parents. Talon's are long dead. All I have is memories of them. But I'd have liked to meet them, you know?"

"Oh. I...I'm sorry. I guess you'll never have to worry about arguing with your MIL? That could be a plus, right?"

They both burst into laughter attracting several curious glances. They passed along the outskirts of the cavern, dodging the activity taking place.

"Jovari said we would talk, when there was some time. I think when all this stuff with Kane is over."

"Do you want to be his mate?" Claire surprised her by asking.

She hesitated. The answer was simple really. "Yes. But, I think I'd like to take things slow. I want some time to find myself before we're officially mated and all that."

"That makes perfect sense and I admire it. This is your chance at a new life, one you can live for yourself. No caring for your parents or loved ones. Just something for you. I think that's important."

"You do?"

"Of course."

She nodded, if only to reassure herself. It was a relief, truthfully. She half expected everyone to judge her for not immediately jumping into Jovari's arms. She didn't see any reason to rush straight into something, especially since she wanted him in the long run. But this would make it easier to settle down and find herself without having her mind immediately linked to someone else's. If she couldn't be happy as she was now, how was she supposed to be happy with someone else?

"Thank you," she blurted, looking at Claire. "For pulling me aside and forcing me to have this conversation. I probably would have been a coward about it and just let it stew."

"You're welcome." Claire's smile was soft. "And since we're on the topic of thanks. Thank you, for dropping everything and coming with me. I know you didn't love your life before, or have anything tying you to it, but you still dropped everything to follow me when I needed a familiar face. I really don't think I would have felt half as safe trusting Talon and running off to a new world if I hadn't had you with me."

Her chest swelled. "I'm glad I was able to do that for you."

"Me too." Claire squeezed her arm. "Now, I think I ought to head over to the command table. They're talking about organizing a small group to visit Reyr, and I for one, cannot wait to give him a big hug. Not to mention, meet this mysterious imposter queen who managed to fool everyone into thinking she was me for months! Can you believe it? Months."

"I think I'd like to meet her too," Leah admitted. "Though, I don't need to be a part of the group that goes. You can just tell me all about it once you get back."

"Deal." Just before they reached the table, Claire gave her arm a final squeeze, then dropped it and moved towards Talon's side. Jovari caught her eye, lifting a questioning brow. She pressed her lips together before offering him a small, friendly smile.

Then she quietly disappeared to rejoin Saffra and Jocelyn and help with whatever new tasks were needed. 

💕❤️💕Don't forget to heart this chapter!❤️💕❤️

Hello bookdragons!

Happy bonus chapter. day! Here's another one for you :)

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--Mel