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Secrets We Keep: Chapter Twelve




Credence was rummaging through a shop for a hammer, intending to take it to the charred door in the ground.

Even if it did nothing, smashing the hammer against the wood would be a satisfying way to release the rancor that had risen within.

How could Ma have been so hateful, so callously cruel to someone she once called friend?

The Galeia in the Queen's story was nothing like the woman Credence knew.

Ma could be resolute to the point of stubbornness, but she was never merciless. It went against the very kindness she preached to her children.

But she was always full of secrets.

Credence wasn't sure if, given the chance, she would ever want to see Ma again. She hated thinking that way, but found no argument passionate enough against it.

Ma gave her child away. Ma refused to honor her promise. Ma turned her back on the ones who loved her.

She even threatened to raise Credence as someone completely blinded by hate.

But she hadn't.

But neither had she prepared her daughter. She hadn't spoken a single word of the truth, but pushed Credence into the world, helpless and unready. For all the good she may have intended, Ma's desperate clinging to secrets had cost Credence everything.

Pa. Josiah. Her freedom.

Galeia brought a world of misery to Credence—just as she had to Ajo. It wasn't fair, a daughter should not have to shoulder the burden of a parent's rash mistakes.

Maybe she deserved her fate, the thought flashed in her mind.

Credence instantly regretted it.

She was so caught up in her grim thoughts that when she opened the door to leave the shop she almost collided with the wolf on the other side. It took a few seconds for Credence to recognize who the animal was.

"John."

The wolf gave a short bow. Seeing John this way brought a painful memory of the loss she suffered under his kind.

"Come to fetch you, my lady. It's time for dinner."

"I'm tempted to refuse, to see how a wolf would manage binding my wrists."

He grinned, showing sharp fangs.

"Don't need rope with teeth like these."

An image of the animal chasing her through the streets flashed in her mind.

"Please," John said, "he allowed me to be a wolf again. You made him happy, and he extended a courtesy because of it. Don't make him take it back."

"I don't make him do anything."

John snorted. "You have the ability to sway his mind and shape the whole of this world. You might be the most powerful thing in it."

He let out a low whimper, as if he regretted saying the last few words. Credence laid the hammer she'd found on a nearby counter.

"I doubt that very much," she said.

"Is this handsome beast before you not the very proof of it? I've come bearing a gift."

He brought forth a bundle of elegant paper tied with ribbon, held with the utmost care between his teeth, and laid it at Credence's feet.

"He would be honored if you accepted it. He's asked that you wear it."

"Asked? Or demanded?"

The wolf shook his head. "I will wait for you to change."

He turned from the shop to wait near the door, giving Credence a moment of privacy. Over his shoulder he casually remarked, "Just like old times, isn't it?"

She closed the door behind John and eyed the gift on the floor. Only when she felt confident there was no mischief to it, Credence tore the paper away and revealed a magnificent gown. It was a gorgeous shade of purple, with tiny black gems sewn into swirling patterns from neck to skirt. She stood to unfurl its full length, noting a lack of sleeves and a closing at the neck. The back of the dress was missing, intending to display the skin from nape to waist.

Credence blushed at the thought of being so exposed.

The skirt fell well past her feet, and she would have to lift it to move, lest she tripped with each step. The black gems gave a noticeable weight to the dress, and it was not as light as it looked.

Is it meant to hinder me? Credence thought.

She felt enticed to try it on, but could not will herself to do it. There was something in the act of putting it on, of agreeing to wear it for Ajo that unsettled her.

A bit of gold around her ankle was one thing, but this was an entirely different sort of acceptance. It felt like submission.

She carefully folded the dress and covered it with the delicate paper before opening the door to join John. She wasn't sure what kind of reaction awaited her, but John said nothing, only uttered a short huff, and they began their walk to the castle.

Ajo will be angry, she thought. Why should that concern me?

She noted that even as a wolf, John's gait was humbled by a limp. She almost felt guilty at the sight—

Why should that concern me? she asked herself again.

The chain around her ankle bounced with each step, hitting her over and over. Her mind wandered back to the dress and she puzzled over its meaning. What was Ajo's intention with these gifts? Were they the tokens of affection, or a symbol of his claim over her?

Was each one a medal of victory, a tangible sign that in the end, he had won?

That is why it felt wrong to wear the gown, she realized.

She wasn't sure if he was adorning her with love, or his own pride.

***

Ajo was waiting in the dining hall, standing in thought by the grand fireplace. When the door opened he looked up with hopeful eyes, but his face fell when he saw Credence, and the glimmer of anxious delight blinked out of existence the moment his eyes met hers.

John closed the door behind Credence immediately, desperate to put distance between himself and the assured unpleasantness to come.

Credence's heart fluttered at the appearance of her host.

Ajo had dressed differently for this dinner, wearing black trousers and a vest beneath a coat. Under the vest was a shirt that matched the color of the dress he had gifted her. His hair was combed, the normally wild mane tamed into an attractive shape.

He had taken special care to look elegant and formal, and for the first time he appeared every inch like the royalty he was.

The shame in his eyes over the state of Credence, that hint of humiliation, only enhanced his charm.

He was beautiful.

Credence felt a heavy embarrassment at failing to complement him.

Ajo moved to Credence's chair and pulled it from the table, and the ever-present but invisible bells underscored his steps. He beckoned for her to sit and she silently obeyed. When she was comfortably settled Ajo moved to take his seat, and her gaze followed his walk down the table.

Credence was sure the distance between them had changed. The table was undeniably shorter, though the feast upon it was still more than enough for the two of them.

Ajo's expression remained stoic, and Credence felt the urge to soothe him.

"You look very handsome," she complimented and Ajo visibly tensed and relaxed in the span of a second.

"Thank you," he replied in monotone. "Did my gift not please you?"

It was a reasonable question, Credence thought.

"It is lovely. I struggled with the decision to try it on."

"But you didn't."

"No." Credence pressed her tongue against the roof of her mouth, feeling very much on the wrong side of things. "It didn't feel right."

"It will suit you beautifully, I promise," he said. "It always did."

"What?"

Ajo blinked.

"It was always meant to," he corrected. "Do you still wear the other gift I gave you?" Credence nodded. "I'm honored. I would keep giving you such gifts if you like."

"It's not necessary."

"Why?"

"Because I'm already here."

Ajo studied her. "I don't give you gifts to make you stay—"

"I don't have a choice—"

"I give you gifts because you deserve them."

Credence hesitated. "Why do I deserve them?"

There was a confusing tension in the air, something not quite pleasant nor altogether sour, like a calm breeze moments before battle, or the heat of a blush before a first kiss.

"We've both been through our share of sorrows," Ajo explained. "It's our turn for a little happiness, don't you think?"

"You are the cause of my sorrow." She couldn't stop herself from saying it, even though she wasn't sure she fully believed it.

"Should it not be my duty then, to atone? To strive for your happiness?"

"My happiness," Credence tasted the word. "I didn't think you cared."

Ajo frowned. "I will endeavor to prove otherwise."

"How? Can you bring my family back?"

"I cannot."

"Can you return my life to the way it was before?"

"No."

"Those are the things that would make me happy, but those are the only things you cannot give me. You cannot take away the pain that's painted my life because of you. You cannot even release me from the vow that enslaved me in the first place. You are the opposite of my happiness, and no amount of endeavoring can change that."

He opened his mouth to argue but Credence cut him off.

"For all your gifts and poetry...I fear I'm nothing but the relic of a feud. A pawn. And you're keeping me needlessly, even after your opponent has fallen."

She looked down at the golden chain around her ankle.

"Is this really for my happiness? Or is it a symbol of your ownership? If revenge is what you seek, I promise you, you've already won it. When you killed her."

Ajo shrank as the words tumbled from her lips. Credence had begun to cry, and was struggling to maintain her calm. His gift of a dress had brought all her doubts to the front of her mind, and though she found his romantic attention somewhat charming, there was still a thread of caution within her, that to him she was not Credence, but Galeia's daughter. She had begun to voice her doubt as a means to test him, but when she heard the words out loud she found there was a harsh truth to them.

"I don't want to answer for the mistakes of others," she said. "I want my life to be my own. You say ours is a love story. You thought the same of Ma—Galeia, and I'm afraid that, just like her, you will kill me if I refuse you. But I would rather die than spend a life inside a façade of love—"

Her voice cut off into a soft weeping and Credence lowered her face into her hands. She didn't want to cry in front of him, thinking it was a sign of weakness. She thought she would be stronger in her confrontation, but she had been wrong about herself many times before, and she was getting used to the bitter disappointment of not living up to her own expectations.

With her eyes shut tight, she listened for the sound of movement, fearing Ajo's anger was inevitable.

"Your life is your own," he said calmly. "I do not intend to force your hand. I only wish to prove my devotion."

"Can honest love come from a promise made to another?"

"The vow I made was not the demonstration of my love, Credence."

"What was it, then?"

"A pathway to it."

"Your mother thinks you are a monster." It was a lie, but Credence needed to see how he would react.

Ajo studied her with suspicion.

"Do you believe her?"

"What reason does she have to lie? Love or destruction. Those were the paths set before me when you and Ma made your promise. That was the burden placed on me, though I never asked for it." She stood from her chair and a note of fear passed through Ajo's expression. "If I cannot trust your love, then I think I must destroy you. So that I may, at last, find peace for myself."

Ajo did not move to stand with her.

"Are you so determined to walk that path?" he asked.

"What other choice is there?"

"You could save me."

His reply gave her pause. She bit her cheek and tore a sliver of skin away.

"But...why should I?" she countered.

"Because I intend to save you. We are the same, Credence. You fear you are a pawn—but I really was one. Just as you were born with a promise, I was raised to believe my future had already been given to another. That future was ripped from me, and then I was shamed and hated for seeking my place beyond it. For desiring happiness that didn't fit with a predestined plan. But what was I to do? I was a pawn who realized his own greatness. And just like me, you have the potential to rise. We have been betrayed, Credence, by the very people who should have protected and loved us. My only wish is to right the wrongs thrust upon us. Because it's fallen on our shoulders. Because if we don't, no one else will."

He ran a hand through his hair.

"You think I'm a monster because you were told I am a monster. But out of everyone who ever claimed to love you, I am the only one who's never lied to you. I love you. Not because of a promise, but because I know what you could become."

"Your revenge."

"The only one who could ever understand. I do not keep you here as a trophy. I keep you here so that you have the chance to understand—truly understand—my intentions. To know who I am. Not the son of the Queen. Not a thing to be used. Not a monster. Just me. Without the hatred of others clouding your eyes. If I hadn't brought you here, how would I ever have managed to grasp a moment to show you?"

"But you are a monster. Beneath the man—"

"I am that creature, yes. But not only—and not by my choosing." He paused. "There's darkness in you, too. You've felt its pull. There's power in it. There's power in taking what you desire."

"Why not take me then?" Credence whispered.

"Because you are my equal, not my prisoner. The beast beneath is a part of me, and the shame of what I've done through it will forever scar my honor. But there is still a place for love, I know it, because I feel it when I look at your face. And I know you've seen it. You've seen a chance for hope. A kindred soul."

Ajo closed his eyes, and his next words were difficult.

"If more proof is what you require...I will release you from Galeia's promise."

Credence gasped. "Say that again."

"I will release you, Credence." He opened his eyes and locked his stare with hers. "I will break the bond between us and free you from the promise that makes you mine." His gaze fell to the table. "All I ask is that you stay with me a little while longer. Remain here for a precious time, so that I may have the chance to show you who I am. To prove my love is true. I do not demand this. I'm asking you to stay because you want to."

There was an implication dragging on the end of his words, and Credence's thoughts acknowledged it.

Where else would I go?

"Will you grant me time, Credence?"

A storm of confusion rose within her. The promise that plagued her from the moment Ma began to whisper about her past, that hunted her through the woods and the towns, that still clutched at her in Ajo's purple world—it would be ended. He was the only one who had ever offered such a thing. He might be the only one who could.

"I will grant you time, Ajo."

A weak smile formed on his lips. "I, Ajo, King of the Wood and last remaining holder of a promise made in blood, end the vow between Galeia and myself. I release you, Credence, from the fate that bound you to me."

A jolt of cold ran down Credence's spine.

There was no grand show that the promise had been ended.

No explosion of fire or trembling of the earth.

Something that had been inside of Credence suddenly...wasn't.

It was neither pleasant nor painful, just a shift in temperature, gone in seconds, leaving behind a vague feeling of loss.

A great thirst came upon her and she poured herself a drink. She drained her cup but the thirst remained, so she poured a second cup, then a third.

"Careful," Ajo murmured. "You're trying to feed a fire with water."

"Do you feel it, too?"

Ajo nodded. "You will adjust to the feeling in time. Your soul has never known a life without it, so you must be patient."

"Am I...not special anymore?"

Ajo chuckled. "It was never the promise that made you special. How do you feel?"

"Empty."

"I am sorry for it."

"What does it mean?"

"I cannot hear the song of your soul, for it does not call to me."

"Does it hurt?"

"It's like...a kind of death, but a small one. Now in its place is a challenge."

"What challenge?"

"To earn your love on my own. To deserve you."

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