Day 46:

It's May. Wow. Usually right now the swim season would be drawing to a close - we would be tapering, which is the best. We would have our shave party (to get rid of all hair not covered by a swimsuit for EBALs) in the outdoor showers and use way too much shaving cream and laugh the whole time. We would have popsicles and slurp them because it's hot outside and they melt really quickly. I would have missed an entire day of school and probably a test or something cause that's just my luck. That's what would have been.

Instead, I'm stuck in my house, unable to swim a single lap, struggling to find the motivation to pick my clean laundry up off the floor that's been there for two weeks. Schoolwork is the easiest, because I love to learn, but if there's an assignment I don't find value in I have to force myself to complete it. My room is a mess. Anything productive I could do is offset with the fact that I could just not do it. I lay in bed and read and look at memes all day and then I hate myself for not doing anything I should have done.

It's easiest if I force myself to do schoolwork in the morning, so that I set a good example for the rest of my day. But that doesn't work on weekends, or on days when I have nothing due. I do nothing, and I feel gross.

    Yesterday, I read 1300 pages and felt great.  Today, I read only 200 and spent the rest of the time on my phone, and it was terrible.  I just can't get myself to read unless I get sucked in or I know it's an amazing story.  I reread the Lunar Chronicles and I love it so much.  I think I'll try rereading the Stormlight Archive and other Brandon Sanderson books I have cause they're just so gosh darn good.  I highly recommend all of his books.