For once I feel like letting the world know something really deep about me, that makes me who I am. I am an extremely empathetic person and honestly, I wear my heart on my sleeve. This facet of myself unfortunately has made my life very rocky at times. These difficulties have come from being emotionally vulnerable and very attached to people in my life. It makes breaking ties with people I've grown close to extremely difficult. It can also lead to being susceptible to manipulation. I just want everyone to get along but that wish never works out.

I was bullied a lot in middle school. My gal friend and I would hold hands in the school hallways... that led to people calling us gay. What makes it worse is that my friend moved out of state halfway through 6th grade. I didn't have many friends that year.

I'm sure all this sounds really depressing and it really is but I actually have a very optimistic outlook. We all get depressed at times, even those of us who seem to be happy all the time. But sometimes the smile is covering up all our issues. When the smile cracks, it usually means that we've been deeply hurt and can't hold it together. There are times I've contemplated self-harm but I could never follow through with it due to my low pain tolerance.

I'm not entirely sure why I suddenly decided to write about this. My best guess is that it's a combination of not having fully moved on from my last romantic relationship (which I ended late January), a visual novel that I'm currently reading (Bloodbound in an app called Stories), and a book that I read extremely early this morning (seriously I was so invested in it that I didn't go to sleep until after 4 AM and I get up at 6:30 AM).

I get emotionally invested in shows and books too. RWBY has brought me close to tears several times (Vol 3 and 7, I'm pointing fingers at you two) and I remember crying while reading about a character's death in the House of Night book series. Songs can also bring about so many emotions, ranging from the deep hurt and despair of "Hello" by Evanescence, to the nightcore version of "Everytime We Touch" by Cascada making me hyper and describing how I feel when I'm in love, to "Perfect Weapon" by Black Veil Brides satisfing the desire for revenge. (A/N) Yeah I have extremely varied music tastes, I'll probably write about that at somepoint.

Anyway, I just feel the need to blurt out personal things at times and this is actually a pretty healthy place to do it imo.

(A/N) Thanks for taking time to read this ^^; Here's links to the Wattpad book and songs I mentioned...

https://my.w.tt/c5sn8b0YX4
Sinful-Writer also has a very stimulating tentacle hentai book if you're into that~😏

https://youtu.be/uKDuIhNVLyg
The nightcore version should just be agreed upon to be the definitive version of this song

https://youtu.be/4v5gng6J7j4
If you're just looking for sad songs in general, Evanescence has really amazing songs, they only have a single happy song and it still feels somewhat sad. This songs is specifically about lead singer Amy Lee's experience of losing her little sister. "Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken," gets me emotional every time.

https://youtu.be/C-S6EDNUmdc
I swear Black Veil Brides is one of a very small amount of bands that rarely makes a song I'm not a fan of.