The names Josephine Antoinette. I'm from this small town in Michigan that not many people care about unless you're from around here. I live with my mom my bigger younger brother Junior & our 10 pets. After dad died, mom turned to animals for emotional support - animals being; 3 dogs, 2 cats, 1 snake & 4 birds. When I move out pretty soon choosing which of my dogs to take with me will truly be the hardest part. (Mom calls them hers but they're really my babies.)

The countdown to my 20th birthday started unofficially aboutttt 5 years ago but as time as ticked I'm finally down to 2 months! It's been almost 9 weeks since I got accepted into Clark Atlanta University. I would be leaving to move into my apartment in less than a week. It's been a wonderful life in this little town but my dad always told me he knew I was bound to be too big for this city. That my plans were beyond the simpleminded & not to let anyone treat me less than the intelligent woman I am.

Junior: Earth to Josie Toni...
My brother waved a hand in front of my eyes with the sound of irritation in his voice as I gloomed off at the dining room table.
Me: What did you say?
Junior: Can you still take me to practice or are you caught up in your excessive planning again?
I looked at my laptop, spirals & variety of colored pens sprawled in front of me sighing,
Me: Yea my bad, I'm almost done here  
Junior: Can you believe you're really about to move out of Michigan?
Me: That's kind of what I'm planning, I still have to figure out how I'm gonna get a job, will I get along with my classmates, will there be any clubs for me, will I be able to live on my own, what if I get home si-

His hand clasped over my mouth before I could get out another panicked word. Then he put his arms around me, soothing my anxiety & reassuring me of the amazing little brother that he was.
Junior: Now you know better than to worry like that. Mom & me are gonna be calling you every day & I'm already knowing you're taking Jessie with you.
Me: Hey don't sound so sure, maybe I was gonna take Jax.
He shot me a look that read 'yea right' reminding me of how I show favoritism to our pets. I shook my head with a smile, chuckling he walked away into the kitchen.

Mom: Josiee dearrr!
After hearing my mom call me from upstairs I raised from my seat to trot up the steps & into the master bedroom of the house. As I walked through the door I see clothes being tossed towards me from out of her walk-in closet. I dodge the clothes to see my mother in her well known panic mode.
Me: Yes mother.
She flinched at the sound of my voice clutching the halter top covered in sequins to her chest.
Mom: You can't be sneaking up on your old woman like that Josephine I almost shit myself, but do you think this is appropriate for a meeting with the governor about the crime rate or does it say I'm a hippie single mother with 10 pets?

I looked up & down at the long yellow boho style dress she pulled off the rack.
Me: Is both an option?
Mom: Perfect!
She squealed & clapped her hands as she started to undress. I watch her wondering how she effortlessly has a body better than mine at 40 years old. I think back to my dads words everytime he saw her looking nice he would spin her, looking her up & down & say 'Black don't crack.'
Me: Is that all you're doing today?
Mom: Oh of course not dear, I have to run by the studio & drop off my notes from the meeting, then I have a presentation with a youth group & our old church after that I'm hoping to be free. What's up darling?
Me: I just wanted to arrange a little family time before I leave later this week.

Her face fell after hearing the words leave my mouth.
Mom: I don't know how I'm gonna get by without you. I'm gonna miss our girl talks after yu leave me with your stinky brother. I never knew teenage boys rooms could really constantly smell like gym socks.
We both laughed sitting on the edge of her bed.
Me: Your know we're still gonna talk everyday & it'll be worth it when we're sitting courtside  at his games.
A long sigh left my mother's body.
Mom:  Seeing your father dribbling down the court, passion in his eyes & sweat running down his face was one of my favorite things. His room used to smell just the same when we were young.

I put an arm around my mother, rubbing her back, feeling her pain.
Me: I miss him too moma.
He did only pass two years ago. The accident happened so sudden the whole family, the whole NBA, we were all devastated.
Mom: I hope you can meet a young man you will grow to love as much as I loved your father.
Me: Umm that will come in due time, for now it's business school & new friends.
Mom: You never knowww I met your father in college, if you're anything like your old woman - which I pray you're not - it's your time to shine.

Just as I searched for the quickest way to remove myself from this conversation,
Junior: Come on Josie Toni it's almost 4:30
I sprung up from the bed & headed towards my brother.
Mom: What time will this family bonding be darling?
Junior: Ughh what family bonding?
Me: When Junior gets out of practice, 9 o'clock sharp.
Junior: When was I being told about this?
Mom: Apparently right now darling, Josie remember what I sai-
Me: Sorry mom we gotta get going. Don't want our star player losing any valuable NBA training time.
Junior: I'm not even in the NBA yet I wish you'd stop saying that before yu jinx my chances.

I shushed him as I pushed my hands against his back forcing him out of the room. Not another word was said until we were buckled up in my white 2010 Camaro.
Junior: What was mom talking about?
Me: You know, you ask a lot of questions.
He glared at me as I backed out of our driveway.
Me: But if you must know, we were talking about dad & then she started saying how me going to college is my chance to meet the love of my life like how she met him.
Junior: Yea I want to look at a woman the way dad used to look at mom.
Me: I don't understand the big deal with love, I don't need a man to be happy.
Junior: Of course you don't, but imagine you have everything you ever wanted & no one to share it with.

The wise words of my well taught 17 year old brother bounced off the walls in my head. Maybe I did need to start being open to relationships.
Me: Enough sappy talk, you think you have a good chance of getting into State?
Junior: I haven't applied yet.
Me: WHAT? You told mom-
Junior: I know what I told mom, the scholarship is true, the recruiters are true,
Me: Then what's stopping you?
Junior: I don't know if I wanna stay in Michigan anymore.

His voice trailed off, the shy words leaving his lips sounding ashamed as he noticed the shock across my face as I turned to look at him. My brothers dreamed of going to Michigan State since I can remember him picking up his first basketball. I've been to every single one of his games & driven him to almost every college tour.
Me: Wait a minute Jay, is this because I'm leaving?
Junior: No, well I don't know. I just feel like the world has bigger plans for me.
My eyes widened & he noticed.
Junior: I don't mean quitting basketball but State wasn't my only offer.
Me: You got more than one full ride?!
Junior: More importantly to-
Me: Shut up, don't tell me it's,
Junior: Kent State University

Kent State was the college at which our parents had met. Our father always dreamed of Junior following his footsteps & playing for them.
Me: Well tonight's the perfect time to tell mom, she'll be thrilled.
Junior: She will be happy for me to be living out dads wishes buttt,
Me: She'll be stuck alone in that big ole house with all them damn animals.
I pulled into the parking lot in front of my old high school, sighing as I shifted gears.
Junior: I'll feel guilty leaving her all alone.
Me: You still have this whole school year left, who knows mom could find a new bachelor by then.
Junior: Yea who knows. Thanks for the ride & the talk sis.
Me: See you later Booger.

He closed the door behind him leaving me alone to sit in my empty vehicle as I stared at the half a blunt in my ashtray that was staring back at me.
Me: Don't mind if I do.
I turned up the radio, head bobbing to the Roddy Ricch song as I grabbed my lighter with the other hand. I puffed it not one but two times, inhaling, letting the cannabis take over my thoughts. I been smoking weed since I was 16, let me just say I'm glad Junior picked up athletics instead of my pothead traits. My dad said he used to smoke weed whenever it wasn't basketball season & my mom said she would smoke it because it's gods plant.

There was a time when I felt bored with life like everyday was repeating & that there would never be better times. Until I got my first job & I had my own money so I could finally buy my own supply. I had smoked before among friends & a boyfriend or two but once I could invest on my own, it was over. I had to learn to actually save my money, especially once I started driving gas was a pain in the ass. Now one question you may have been thinking this whole time; "Why have they been living in Michigan & why does this bitch even need a job if her dad was in the NBA?"
& my answer to that would have to be, well this was only the first chapter.