Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 890

Author's Note: This is based off the song When It Was Me by Paula DeAnda!

The first time that you heard about their relationship was through an Instagram post. You felt your heart skip a beat when you saw the girl who had taken your place. Just one look at her showed you that she was everything that you weren't. You sat frozen in place for a while, staring at the picture and wondering if maybe this was all a dream.

The news spread like wildfire after that. Every post you saw seemed to be talking about Jebby. You remembered when those posts were about the two of you, but those days were long past. Now it was like your relationship hadn't even existed.

You hated to say that you were jealous, because you weren't. Or at least, you didn't want to be. Josh was happy now, and that was all you had ever wanted for him. You just wished that it wasn't with someone who was so much more perfect than you.

It had been about two months since the relationship was officially announced. You had thought it would get easier as time went on, but it was the opposite that proved to be true. Every time that you saw a picture of the two of them together, you couldn't help but compare yourself to her. It was easy to see why Josh had ended things with you when there were girls like her out there.

You finally got fed up and threw your phone down on the couch next to you. Being filled with self loathing every time you went on social media was proving to be exhausting. All you wanted was for things to go back to how they were a year ago.

"What?" you whispered, turning slightly so that you could face Josh.

The plane was quiet, and you had spent the last twenty minutes staring out the window at the city lights down below. Josh was supposed to be trying to sleep so that he wouldn't be tired for the show the next night, but he had been caught up watching a movie instead.

"I wanted to see your face."

You didn't want to smile, but it ended up happening anyway.

"Haven't you seen it enough?" you asked, turning away from him slightly.

"I could never." He reached over and grabbed your hand in his own, prompting you to look at him again. "I would stare at you for hours if I could."

"That seems unlikely."

"Not as unlikely as you think," he smiled.

He lifted your hand up and softly kissed your knuckles. You rolled your eyes at him, but he didn't seem to mind. He knew that deep down, you secretly loved when he was sappy.

"You need to get some sleep so you don't pass out during the show tomorrow."

"If I need to sleep, then you do too."

"I don't have a sold out show to play tomorrow."

"But you're still attending."

"Ok, fine, we'll both sleep."

"Deal."

Josh shut his laptop and leaned onto your shoulder, keeping his fingers intertwined with yours. You rested your head on your hand and continued to look out the window, wishing that this moment could last forever.

All of your friends had insisted that you were much prettier than she was. You knew that they were just saying it to make you feel better, but you went along with it to please them. Deep down you knew you could never be as perfect as Debby, one look at her could tell you that.

Your nights became plagued with imagining situations that would never happen. In your head, you could confront Josh and ask him why she was so much better than you. He would tell you that he still wasn't over you and she was just a perfect distraction. The two of you would kiss and everything felt ok again, until reality came back and slammed you in the face, that is.

Josh's arms were wrapped tightly around you. In front of you, the sun was setting over the ocean. Tyler and Jenna had disappeared somewhere down the beach. The four of you had been enjoying the weekend break the boys had from shows to relax for a little while.

"Hey, Y/N?"

"Yeah, Josh?" You felt a shiver run down his spine. "Are you cold?"

"No. I just have the tendency to do that when you say my name."

"Why?"

"I like the way it sounds when you say it," he shrugged.

"Oh."

"Is that dumb?"

"Nothing you say is dumb."

"I would beg to differ."

"Don't say that, Josh."

You felt him shiver again. He bent down so that his head was resting on your shoulder.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too," you gave his arms a light squeeze.

"Promise you're never going to leave?"

"I promise," you turned and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

You eventually grew numb to the videos and posts. Your relationship with Josh started to feel more like a dream than a distant memory. It seemed impossible that he had ever felt that way about you. The only reminder was the occasional throwback photos from clique members who wished you were the one in Debby's place, but even those were few and far between.

As time went on, it became harder to remember when that girl was you.