Warnings: Mentions of depression, minor angst

Word Count: 1858

You checked your phone again, hoping that maybe this time his name would be on your screen. If it was any other day, you would have brushed it off as Josh being busy and that would be that. Your day would have gone on as normal.

But this wasn't any other day.

You had woken up to a voicemail from Josh that morning. Normally the phone call would have woken you up, but in your tired state you had left your phone in the living room the night before. This was a decision you would come to regret, even if you hadn't done it on purpose.

The voicemail was short, maybe thirty seconds at most. It started quietly, but you could just make out the sound of what could only be Josh crying. This was followed by a whisper of, "I need you right now." You had felt terrible the second that you head heard it, knowing that Josh had been in pain and you hadn't been there to comfort him. Had you answered the call, you would have been over to his house in seconds.

Of course, that was what you had done immediately after the voicemail ended. You had gotten into the car without a second's hesitation. All that was on your mind was getting to Josh and making sure that he was ok. That would be followed by a profuse apology for being an idiot and leaving your phone out of earshot.

Unfortunately for you, he didn't answer the door. You stood outside in the cold until you could hardly stand it anymore, holding out hope that he was just being slow. It wasn't until you could barely curl your fingers into a fist to knock again that you got back in the car and headed home again.

Hey, I got your voicemail. I'm so sorry that I didn't hear your call last night, left my phone in the living room like an idiot. Just wanted to check in and make sure you're ok. Text back soon, please. Love you!

That was the text that you had sent nearly three hours ago. He still hadn't answered, and you were beginning to wonder if maybe you had done something wrong. The worry was pressing down on your chest like a weight and you knew there wouldn't be even a bit of relief until you heard from him.

Your phone buzzed and you lunged for it, but it only turned out to be an email notification for something you had ordered. Good news, to say the least, but it wasn't the news that you were looking for. You were trying your best not to be the overbearing partner, but calling Tyler to see if he knew anything was very tempting.

A car door slammed outside, sending you running across the house to try and get a glimpse of who it was. You should have expected it to just be another of your neighbors' friends. If Josh wasn't answering your texts, then he certainly wasn't going to show up unannounced at your house.

That was the final straw. You weren't going to spend the rest of the night jumping at any little noise in hopes that it was Josh and being worried sick about him. Knowing that he was safe was worth the risk of him being mad at your for a little while. You just hoped that Tyler would provide some reassurance.

"Please pick up," you muttered as the phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered after a few rings.

"Ty, hey. Do you have a minute to talk?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Have you heard from Josh lately?"

"Last time I talked to him was last night, why?"

"I'm worried about him. He called me in the middle of the night last night and he didn't seem like he was doing too well. Not to mention that he's been kind of off for the last few days. I figured he would talk to me about it if it got serious, but I'm starting to think that isn't the case."

"Weird, he seemed fine when I talked to him. Did you try calling?"

"I went over to his house this morning but he didn't answer. I'm honestly at a loss for what to do. What if I upset him?"

"I don't think that's the case at all, Y/N. I'd say just give it until the rest of the night and see if he reaches out. He probably just needs some space for now. Trust me, I'm just as worried as you are."

"Ok, you're right. Thanks for the advice."

"Of course. And let me know if he calls, alright?"

"Yeah, definitely."

"Take care of yourself."

"Thanks, bye."

"Later."

You hung up the call and tossed your phone onto the coffee table. At least you knew that you weren't the only one that Josh was currently ignoring, which was a bit reassuring. It didn't ease the worry about how he was doing right now though. All you could do now was wait.

It was half past midnight and your eyelids were starting to feel heavy. You had spent most of the night watching TV to try and take your mind off of Josh, but it hardly helped. Your mind was constantly wandering back to him. There were numerous times when you almost texted him again, but you stopped yourself. He would reach out when he was ready.

You started to reach for the remote but your path quickly changed when your phone buzzed. By this point you had learned not to get your hopes up too much, but deep down you were still holding out for a text. Your tired eyes scanned the screen a couple times before you fully processed what it said.

Can I call?

You were wide awake in seconds. Adrenaline was pumping its way through your veins as you hastily typed out a response.

Yeah

Your phone started ringing seconds after the text delivered. You answered instantly, eager to hear his voice and know that he was alright.

"Y/N?"

"Josh, hi. Listen, I'm so sorry about missing your call. I've been so worried-"

"Can I just talk for a second?"

Your mouth slowly closed as you pressed your lips together. Was he upset with you?

"Sure."

"Actually, forget it."

You felt your heart sink.

"Can you just come over here instead?"

You instantly relaxed and let out a breath you hadn't even realized you had been holding. There was no time to be wasted.

"Yeah, I'll be over as quick as I can."

"Do you have your key?"

"I do."

"Alright, feel free to let yourself in. I'll be in my room."

"Ok. I love you."

"Love you too."

Josh ended the call and you continued to run around the house gathering up a few things that you needed. You were still worried, but at least you had spoken to him. Tyler would want to know, but that could wait.

Josh's house was dark when you walked inside. Normally Jim would come running up to you and circle your legs, but he was nowhere to be seen. Each step further into the house only made you more concerned.

Just as he said, Josh was in his room. It was a mess with clothes thrown all over the floor, not to mention that it didn't look like Josh had left his bed since the day before. He lifted his head to see you as you walked into the room.

"Hey, Y/N."

"Josh, what's going on?" you asked, looking around at the room. Jim ran up to you and nudged at your legs. You idly rubbed his head, but you remained focused on Josh.

"It's been a rough weekend."

You walked over and sat down next to him. His hair was a mess and there were bags under his eyes. He never slept well when he was distressed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" you asked, running a hand through his hair.

"I will," he sighed. "I just wanted to start by saying I'm sorry for ignoring you. It wasn't the right thing to do, especially after I called last night. I didn't want to worry you but I had convinced myself that you didn't care about me, so I never answered."

"Hey, it's ok," you said, pulling him towards you so that he could rest his head on your stomach. "I know it's hard and I feel awful for not hearing your call last night. I would have been over here in seconds and if that in any way made you feel like I don't care, I want you to know that it wasn't my intention at all."

"I know."

"I'm so sorry, Josh."

"Don't be. You didn't mean to."

You nodded and continued to play with his hair. Your job right now was to listen to Josh, not whine about your own problems.

"So do you want to talk about what's been going on?"

Josh sighed, "Yeah."

"Ok. I'm ready to listen"

Josh nodded against your stomach. He took a few deep breaths before he started to speak, "I guess I've just felt... worthless, lately. I don't deserve the life I have and I feel like I'm just taking the place of somebody who deserves it so much more than me."

"You know you're one of the most talented people that I know, right? And the thing is, you don't let any of it go to your head. You're still one of the most compassionate and loving people I know."

"Really?"

"Yes. You've worked so hard and gone through so much to get to where you are now that you one hundred percent deserve to live the life that you have right now. You mean so much to so many people."

"Sometimes it just gets hard for me to remember that."

"It gets hard for all of us, which is why I always try and remind you how much you mean to me."

"I appreciate that."

"We're going to get through this together, love. Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

You and Josh ended up laying in his bed for the rest of the night, cuddled up together. He talked through everything that he had been feeling and you listened, occasionally interjecting with your own comment. Eventually the two of you got too tired to even keep your eyes open, so you decided to get some sleep and continue the conversation in the morning.

"Thank you for caring about me," Josh murmured as you began to drift off to sleep.

His head was buried in the crook of your neck so that you could feel the heat of his breath on your collar bone.

"Your welcome," you smiled, rubbing your fingers lazily along his arm. "Thank you for doing the same for me."

"I'll never stop."

Josh began to snore shortly after. You pressed a kiss to his knuckles before closing your own eyes. The worry was finally gone now that Josh was here next to you, safe and fast asleep.