Warnings: Infidelity, profanity, angst

Word Count: 1620

Request: Hi I don't know if asks are still open but if they are could you do a Josh Dun x reader where the readers there every time Josh goes through a break up to like comfort him and stuff but then he cheated on his ex and the reader gets pissed and it's just angst (ok thanks bye🖤)

Author's Note: I just want to give you all a fair warning that most of the upcoming Josh posts are very angsty, though there are a few fluffy ones thrown into the mix :) I hope you enjoy this one!

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Tyler: have you heard from josh today?

You stared blankly at the message for a moment, running over every text and direct message you had received over the course of the day. It wasn't unusual for you and Josh to go a few days without talking to one another - between your teaching and his music, it could be hard to find time - but the fact that Tyler was messaging you didn't sit quite right. After double checking that your memory was correct, you texted him back.

Y/N: last time i heard from him was yesterday morning, but it was just one message. silence since then

Tyler: shoot, i thought he must have been with you

A shiver ran along the length of your spine as you typed out another message.

Y/N: is everything ok?

Tyler: he was supposed to be at the studio an hour ago and nobody has heard from him

You were on your feet as soon as you finished reading the message, gathering up your keys and a jacket and figuring out where you had left your shoes. Josh never skipped studio time unless it was really important or really serious. That, on top of the fact that he wasn't answering messages, put a bad taste in your mouth.

You finally texted Tyler back once you were down the stairs of your apartment building and walking across the parking lot to your car. Your fingers were moving almost as fast as your feet.

Y/N: i'm going to see him, i'll check in with you soon

Tyler: i don't think that's a good idea

You rolled your eyes and opened your car door, tossing your phone into the passenger seat. What was your other option? Sit around while Josh potentially needed somebody to be there for him?

At least you were doing something to help rather than just sitting around at the studio.

*     *     *

You checked your phone one more time before getting out of the car, just to make sure Josh hadn't suddenly texted and let you know you were overreacting. The only messages were from Tyler, sent a few minutes ago.

Tyler: y/n?

Tyler: i just wanted to know if you had heard from him. i'm sure he's fine, i didn't mean to worry you.

"Too late for that," you scoffed as you slid your phone into your pocket. Your car keys jingled as you pulled them out of the ignition.

Loud music was audible as you walked up the front steps of Josh's house. You took that as a good sign, at least he was home if nothing else. Now you just had to figure out if he would talk to you about why he hadn't gone to the studio.

Y/N: front door

It wasn't uncommon for him to not hear you knocking when he was playing music or practicing the drums, so you had gotten into the habit of texting him when you came over. It worked nine times out of ten.

The music suddenly became too quiet for you to hear and before you knew it, the front door was swinging open. You couldn't help the frown on your face as you finally got a glimpse of Josh. His brightly colored hair was messy and unwashed where you could see it sticking out from under the hood of his sweatshirt. The sweatshirt itself was too big, practically swallowing him up. All of this paled in comparison to his swollen eyes and the deep bags beneath them.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. His voice was hoarse.

"Do you really need to ask that?"

He sighed and stepped to the side, giving you enough room to come inside. While you kicked off your shoes, he shut and locked the front door once again.

"Why didn't you call me?" you asked as you made yourself comfortable on the couch. "And what's going on with you?"

Josh sat back down in a pile of blankets that it looked like he hadn't moved from in a few days. It was already perfectly molded to the shape of his body, making it easy for him to get comfortable again. He avoided your eyes as he answered your question.

"Addy broke up with me," he said. There was no emotion in his voice. "Said it wasn't going to work."

"Oh, Josh," you frowned, standing up and moving to the other couch to be closer to him. He leaned into you. "I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. I'm over it."

You had never heard someone sound less "over it".

"How long ago did it happen?"

"Couple days."

"Why didn't you call me? I would have come over here in a heartbeat."

"I didn't want to bother you."

"Josh," you sighed. His breathing started to get uneven, so you rubbed his shoulder to calm him back down. "You're never a bother. Breakups are hard and, just like every other one, I want to be here for you. You know the drill, we order your favorite food, watch some X-Files, and inevitably end up falling asleep together on the couch."

He shook his head, "This time was different."

"Why?"

"It just was."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I can't."

Josh's voice broke on the last syllable. You fully wrapped your arms around him and pulled him closer, rubbing your hand up and down his back. His whole body was shaking as he cried, but you just held him and tried to keep him as calm as you could. He had never been this upset by a breakup before. Or at least, not in a long time.

How could Tyler have possibly thought it was a bad idea for you to be here?

Josh mumbled something into your shoulder, but it was too muffled for you to hear. When you asked him to repeat it, he turned so that you would actually be able to understand what he was saying. Still, it was barely more than a whisper.

"I cheated on her, Y/N."

It took you a second to process what he had just said. Even then, you couldn't believe it. Josh - the sweetest boy you knew, the only one who had been there for you through everything, your best friend - had cheated? He couldn't be serious.

You pushed Josh away from you and stood, somehow managing to stay steady on your shaking legs. He was looking up at you, his eyes brimmed with tears. He looked so hurt, so innocent, but a bad taste still filled your mouth when you thought about what he had said.

"Tell me you're lying," you said, your own voice shaking now. "Tell me it's a joke."

"I wish I could, Y/N. More than anything, I wish I could."

"What the hell, Josh?"

"It was a lapse in judgement, I swear. I wish I could take the entire thing back. She invited me over for lunch and I didn't think anything of it and then I was there and one thing led to another..."

"Addy loved you more than anything," you said. You barely knew the girl, but you were ready to defend her to the ends of the Earth.

"You think I don't know that?" Josh yelled. You recoiled; he never raised his voice at you. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have raised my voice."

"I can't believe you." You hastily wiped away a tear with the back of your hand. "You're sick."

"No, please," he said, grabbing onto your arm. "I can't lose you too."

You pulled your arm away, ignoring his plea. "That's why you didn't call me, isn't it? Because you wanted to run away from the reality of what you did."

"Just let me explain."

"And Tyler knew, didn't he? That's why he didn't want me to come!" you buried your face in your hands. "It all makes sense now."

"Y/N-"

"What?" you snapped.

"I wasn't trying to hide anything from you. I feel awful about what I did and I don't know that I'll ever be able to forgive myself. The reason Addy found out is because I told her. This isn't some big thing that I'm trying to cover up, I just needed to find the right way to tell you."

"You cheated, Josh, that's the bottom line. You had two choices and you decided to cheat. I'm glad you fessed up, but it doesn't mean you're suddenly forgiven."

There was a pause. Josh was avoiding looking at you. You, meanwhile, were so upset that you could feel your hands trembling. For a moment, you thought he wasn't going to say anything.

"So you're not going to forgive me?" he asked. His voice was quiet again.

"Not right now."

"But eventually?"

You took a deep breath, thinking over your next words carefully. Was this enough to end a long standing friendship over?

"I don't know."

Josh nodded. "I can respect that."

"I'm going to go now. I'm glad you're safe."

You walked out of the room and gathered your things in record time. Your heart was still pounding as you laced up your shoes and dug your keys out of your sweatshirt pocket. Just as you opened the front door, Josh called out to you.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for checking on me. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome."

You stepped out onto the walkway and shut the door behind you. As soon as the lock clicked, you took a moment to breathe in and let yourself feel everything that you had been keeping carefully bottled up while you talked to Josh. It felt like your heart was being pulled in all directions.

This was not going to be an easy decision.