Warnings: Some angst

Word Count: 1945

Author's Note: This fic is actually based off of the song Eight Letters by Why Don't We! I don't usually listen to them, but I heard this song and ended up writing this fic based off of it!

You jumped around the bedroom as you pulled your jeans up over your hips. Josh was going to be here to pick you up in less than ten minutes, and like always you had put off getting ready until the very last minute.

Once your jeans were zipped up, you skipped over to the closet and began to hastily flip through all your shirts. It was tempting to just throw on one of his comfortable hoodies, but you wanted to at least look somewhat decent. There was a lot to live up to with Josh walking next to you, after all.

You settled on a gray sweater and quickly grabbed a pair of socks before you darted into the bathroom. Your hair--by some miracle--looked halfway decent already, so you fixed up a few pieces and called it good. Five minutes later, you were happy with your appearance and rushing down the steps two at a time.

Josh knocked on the door as you were finishing lacing up your shoes. You looked over yourself in the mirror before you pulled it open.

"Hey," he smiled. "Wow, you look amazing."

"Thanks," you grinned, taking a deep breath to mask how out of breath you were. "You want to come inside for a second? I just have a few more things to grab."

"Sure," he said, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.

Josh followed you towards the living room as you looked around for your jacket. You snuck a few glances at him while he wasn't paying attention. He, of course, had dressed up in a nice shirt and one of his worn jackets. His hair was done perfectly, as per usual, and his stubble was shaved down to the perfect length.

"Found it!" you smiled triumphantly, emerging from your bedroom.

"Ready to go?" he asked, turning to look at you from his place on the couch.

"Yeah."

Josh stood up and wrapped an arm around you, leading you out to the car. You giggled as he pulled open the passenger door for you and dramatically gestured for you to get in.

"Thank you," you said as you adjusted yourself in the passenger seat.

He walked around the car, rubbing his hands together to keep them warm. You wondered why you two had decided to go out for a walk on a cold day like today, but you were just happy to spend time with him.

Josh got into the driver's seat, smiling at you as he did so. You rubbed your hands along your legs, half from the nerves and half from the cold.

"Ready?" he said, looking to you as he started the engine.

You reached over and took hold of his right hand, lacing his fingers with yours. His fingers were freezing, but you didn't mind.

"Ready."

A light layer of snow covered the path that you and Josh were walking along. Your feet made crunching sounds as you wandered between the trees, hand in hand.

"You're really beautiful, did you know that?" Josh said, squeezing your hand a bit tighter.

"Thanks," you mumbled, turning to look at him. You didn't even care if he noticed that your cheeks were bright red.

"I love when you blush," he laughed.

You felt your entire body tense at the mention of love. Josh had already told you that he was in love with you, but you had yet to do the same. He had been understanding when you told him why you didn't want to say it yet, but you could tell that it hurt him.

You wanted to tell him. If you could, you would sit him down and tell him every little detail about why you loved him: his laugh, the way his eyes sparkled when he was talking about music, the freckles on his face. They were all pieces of a whole that you were hopelessly in love with, and that terrified you.

Your jaw clenched as the memories came back. You tried to push them away, but every time they just returned to the front of your mind. Josh quickly took notice of what was going on and stopped walking.

"What's going on?" he asked, turning you so that you were facing one another.

"Nothing," you shook your head. "It's fine."

"Hey now," he said, unlacing his fingers from yours so that he could put his hands on your arms. "I've seen your jaw clench like that before and I can assure you that whatever you're thinking about isn't nothing."

You avoided eye contact and looked down at the ground. Josh had seen you at your worst, but you still found yourself hesitating when it came to talking about your past. There had been countless times where you thought you could trust someone, only for them to turn on you when you least expected it. You were reluctant to give Josh the same power.

"It's just... that word," you sighed.

"What? Blush?" he said. "I mean, I get some people have weird things about certain words but-," he began to ramble.

"No, Josh," you smiled, reaching up and placing a hand on the side of his face. His brown eyes stopped moving and locked to yours. "The other one."

His eyebrows furrowed for a moment before they relaxed again in recognition, "I'm sorry, Y/N. I forgot."

"No, no," you said, rubbing your thumb lightly against his cheek. He smiled at the gesture. "It's ok. It was an honest mistake and besides, I'm kinda weird when it comes to rules."

He reached up and grabbed your hand, once again lacing his fingers with yours, "You're not weird at all. A little complicated, maybe, but not weird. Besides, most people haven't had to go through even half of what you have."

You smiled, "Thank you for being so understanding."

"Of course," he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Anything for you."

You pulled him towards you so that you could kiss him. Never in your life had you been with someone as understanding as Josh. He took the time to learn all the things that you were uncomfortable with and did his best to make sure that he didn't upset you. You knew that you weren't always the easiest to deal with, but Josh never made it feel like an issue.

Josh pulled away from the kiss and smiled at you, "Are you ok?"

You nodded, "I am now."

"What do you say we finish up this walk, grab some food, and head back to your place to relax?"

"I would like that."

You and Josh were laying on your backs, staring up at the ceiling. The fireplace was roaring--thanks to Josh--keeping your feet warm. Fast food wrappers were littered around the two of you, a result of going a bit overboard with ordering.

You hadn't been able to get the word love out of your mind since Josh had said it earlier that day. Anytime that you weren't immediately distracted by something else, your mind returned to the idea. Every part of you wanted to tell him that you were in love with him, but every time you went to get the words out you hesitated.

Josh shifted closer to you, distracting you for a moment. He smiled as he reached over and laid his hand on top of yours. You returned his smile and turned back to looking at the ceiling.

You wondered why you were so scared of telling him how you felt. He had already told you that he was in love with you, so it wasn't like there was the fear of not knowing if he felt the same. Maybe it was because being in love was so vulnerable: a position that you never wanted to be in again. After all, Josh wasn't the first boy that you had thought you were in love with and look how that had turned out.

"What are you thinking about, Y/N?" Josh asked, breaking the silence.

He was rubbing circles on the back of your hand, occasionally running his hand along your forearm.

"You," you answered honestly.

He sat up so that he was now resting on his elbows. One of his eyebrows was raised as he looked down at you.

"Me?"

You sat up so that the two of you were at an equal height, "Yeah."

"What about me were you thinking about?"

You shrugged, "Just a lot of things, I guess."

He smiled, reaching over so that he could nudge you a bit, "Like?"

You chewed nervously on your lip and avoided eye contact with him, "Just stuff."

Josh's eyebrows immediately furrowed in concern. He fully sat up now and scooted closer to you so that he could rest a hand on your leg.

"Did I do something wrong? You're making me nervous, Y/N."

You shook your head. You wanted to tell him that it wasn't that at all and let him know that everything was alright, but your throat felt like it had closed up entirely.

"Y/N?"

"Give me a second," you finally managed to mutter.

You sat up and turned to face Josh, scooting even closer to him. Your legs were a tangled mess of black denim. He reached out and took hold of both of your hands, eyebrows still knit tightly together in confusion.

It was only eight letters. Why were you having such a hard time saying it?

You reached out and traced a hand along Josh's jaw. His stubble was rough on your fingertips, but you didn't mind. You had always preferred him with a bit of scruff. A smile tugged at the corner of his lip.

"There's something that I want to tell you," you said, still not meeting his eyes.

He nodded quickly, obviously eager to hear what you had to say. You bit down on your lip again as you looked up to meet his eyes.

"I love you."

You watched as Josh visibly relaxed, a smile slowly spreading across his face. For a second, you swore that he was starting to tear up.

"Can you say that again?"

"I love you," you smiled.

Josh reached out and put his hands on either side of your face, causing you to giggle.

"I love you too," he grinned.

You had never seen Josh look so happy before. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off of your chest now that he knew how you felt. Sure, anxiety still hovered at the back of your mind, but seeing Josh's reaction was more than enough to fight past it.

"I love you," you repeated again. "So much and I'm so sorry that it took me so long to tell you."

Josh shook his head, "Don't be sorry. You needed to take your time and I was more than ok with that. Hearing it just means that much more to me now."

You smiled and pulled him into a hug. Just when you thought he couldn't get any better, you found a new way to fall in love with him. Life wouldn't be the same without him in your life.

He pulled you into a quick kiss when you finally let go of him. You couldn't help but smile again when you saw that he was still beaming.

"The most amazing person in the world is in love with me," he said. "I can hardly believe it."

"Believe it," you said, reaching up to brush a strand of his hair back from his forehead.

"I love you," he said.

You smiled. Hearing that was never going to get old.

"I love you too."