NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED, BUT THEY GRIEVE WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN. Nights were always the least forgiving, Éponine couldn't remember the last time she had been able to get some proper sleep. Nightmares were consistent unless she took a sleeping draught, and even then, as she fell into a dreamless state, she never felt well rested the next day. However,  Éponine hid her fatigue quite well. A little potion could easily rid her of the dark bags that gathered under her eyes, caffeine gave her the energy she needed through the day, and a smile concealed everything else. Because what was a little bit of exhaustion for the price of freedom?

Her nightmares varied, whether it was facing a humiliating punishment from her parents, being tortured by Bellatrix, or finding her trapped with Ernest Nott. No matter how many times she was reassured after confiding in someone, it never seemed to set her mind at ease completely. She hadn't spoken to her parents in over a year, unable to "reason" with their daughter, they pretended like they never had one to begin with. Éponine didn't mind though, thinking back on it she was more embarrassed to consider them her parents more so than they were embarrassed to claim her as their own.

The Rosier family had not been in good standings after Éponine's scandal. The only saving grace of their reputation came at the hands of one of her older cousins, Evan, joining the Dark Lord as a loyal Death Eater, and his younger sister, would eventually marry one of the Lestrange brothers, that was their only salvation. Éponine had never been close with them, her parents never really offering an explanation, but she believed she figured it out. When Éponine had been arranged to marry Sirius and then Regulus, Victor and Heloise had thought themselves to be better than the rest of the Rosier family tree. So while they shared a surname, Éponine's marriage acted allmost like a promotion for the family as they further tied themselves with the House of Black.

However, Éponine had broken off that "alliance" and her parents were forced to practically grovel to obtain favor once again so that they weren't known as the parents that raised a blood-traitor.

If only she cared.

Perhaps if they hadn't treated their own daughter like a broodmare, Éponine would have felt more guilt towards the end of their relationship. Instead, she felt more guilt towards Walburga and Orion once her anger weared off. Thinking of all the times that Orion had treated her with such kindness, or when Walburga gifted her with a family heirloom, it tended to pull at her heartstrings in the slightest of ways. She no longer wore the necklace that Walburga gave her, but she couldn't bring herself to get rid of it either.

But her biggest manifestation of guilt, came in the visions of Regulus, that often haunted her in the quietest hours of the night.

There had been a time where Éponine loathed Regulus Black and she wished it had been during those times where she had finally come to the realisation that her family's teachings were wrong. However, over the course of a summer and a few months,  a relationship formed between them that Éponine felt with no one else. She was fairly certain that Regulus had been her first love, even if she had never said those three little words to his face before their relationship crashed and burned.

And although they had ended things on an awful note, she still dreamed about him.  She dreamed about him being happy because the last time she had seen him, all did not look right in his world.

It was before the summer holidays, after a horribly awkward sixth year of the two of them only conversing through stolen looks and glares. He looked at her with such a coldness in his eyes some days, but other times, it looked as though he was going to reach out to her, finally asking for help. He never did though, he always looked away first. Éponine tried to reach out to him, but he ignored her or dismissed her rudely, and then one day, she just stopped.

Sirius' words echoed in her head, reminding her that if Regulus was not willing to listen, then he had to figure things out on his own, if he ever did.

For the remainder of her fifth year and her entire sixth year, Éponine focused on her studies, no longer distracted with trying to keep up appearances or developing a relationship. It didn't take her mind off of Regulus, but it certainly helped.

However, it was that moment in time on the train, as all the prefects and the Head Boy and Girl, were leaving the compartment, Éponine couldn't resist to try and reach out to him one last time. Without thinking, as they were the remaining two in the compartment, she made a grab for the sleeve of his robes and pulled to bring him back.

Initially, he resisted, a bewildered expression lacing his features as he turned to face her. Only, Éponine didn't notice his face right away, all too focused on his arm. It was unmistakenable, the image of a colassal skull with a serpent protruding from its mouth embedded on the inner forearm of his left arm.

The Dark Mark.

Her eyes widened immediately, as she took one step back from him. Éponine shook her head in disbelief, all the while, Regulus yanked his arm away from her and pulled his sleeve down to cover it again. He said nothing to her, although she would swear up and down that his gaze lingered just a little longer before he stormed out of the compartment.

Every night since them, the Dark Mark was present in her nightmares. Sometimes, it was Regulus recieving the Dark Mark, other times, Éponine found it branded to her own skin, which caused her to wake up and check her arm every time.

That evening had been no exception and after she checked for the mark, Éponine pushed herself out of her bed and made her way out of the bedroom.

Back when Éponine decided to deflect from her own family, she thought she would be left with nothing, only to gain so much. The first person she had to thank was Sirius. Her once-intended then turned enemy, was the last person she ever expected to help her. She would be the first to admit that it was quite awkward in the beginning, knowing the two of them didn't share the best history together. And yet, when she needed him most, Sirius came through every single time. When her fifth year ended, Éponine was invited to the Potter home.

She dreaded every moment leading up to it, thinking the Potters wouldn't be so welcoming, especially knowing who she was in the past. No matter how times James and Sirius reassured her, she didn't believe it, until Euphemia and Fleamont welcomed her with hugs. They were complete strangers to her and yet, their hugs were filled with more warmth than any hug she could remember sharing with her parents. Just the thought alone brought her to tears at the platform as she hugged them in return.

Moving into the Potter cottage wasn't what Éponine expected. It was so calm and peaceful, with the exception of James and Sirius causing a little chaos and every now and then. Euphemia and Fleamont were an older couple, but it didn't stop them from being active around the home and they made sure to include Éponine in almost everything. Whether she would spend the summer mornings helping Fleamont in the gardens or sharing in some tea with Euphemia in the afternoons while she listened to the local quidditch scores on the Wizarding Wireless Network.

And despite all the kindness, sometimes Éponine only felt comfortable confiding in Sirius. Maybe because she thought he would be the only one to really understand how she was feeling since he had been through it before.

So when Sirius and James graduated from Hogwarts, Éponine was unsure of what that meant for her. James was planning on readily moving in with Lily Evans and since the death of Alphard Black, Sirius was planning to use his sudden inheritence to buy a flat of his own. Euphemia and Fleamont offered her to stay as long as she needed, but Sirius gave her the better option, she was to move in with him.

Given her own room, Éponine was able to come and go as she pleased, as Sirius was not one to put his foot down and give her many rules to follow. But she hardly travelled anywhere by herself, normally in the company of someone. Sometimes Sirius was there all day, or James, Remus, Peter, and Lily would come over, and then sometimes, he would be gone for a couple of days. Éponine would grow worried when he didn't come home but he always reassured her that he was gine when he did return.

He never told her where he went when he was gone, and it was one of those nights where he wasn't in.

Éponine entered the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea before settling down at the little table. Despite the aromatic smell of herbs and spices, she didn't bring herself to drink it right away. Rather, she stared at the tea cup, debating to put in a splash of milk as she had done before or leave it.

Regulus never liked milk in his tea, always complained that it ruined the flavor.

Suddenly, the sound a low roar, paired with a flash of light through the kitchen window alerted Éponine to look over. A minute or so later, Sirius entered the flat, tiptoing his way in the direction of his bedroom.

She cleared her throat loudly and watched as he jumped a foot in the air.

Despite him drawing his wand and pointing it at her,  Éponine giggled at his reaction before shaking her head.

"Another late night?" she asked.

"For Merlin's sake, Nin! You almost gave me a heart attack! What are you doing awake? It's past three in the morning."

"I couldn't sleep," she gave a shrug of her shoulders, " and you're one to talk, you're just getting in!"

Sirius opened his mouth to argue, only to find himself able to counter on the spot. "Well...um...I'm older so I'm allowed to come and go at any hour. So...there. And if you can't sleep, why in the world are you drinking tea? That's going to keep you up."

"Maybe that's the point."

Taking the seat across from her, Sirius settled into a chair with a heavy sigh. He often worried that when he wasn't home if Éponine got any sleep at all because he was usually the one reminding her to take her sleeping draught. He watched as she fumbled with her tea cup before pushing it away and then looking up at him. Almost instantly, she was up on her feet.

"Sirius, you're bleeding!"

"Wh-"

Suddenly, he felt the warm trickle on the side of his face and lifted his hand to touch it. Sure enough, blood stained his fingers when he looked. Before Éponine could reach him, he aimed his wand at the side of his face and healed himself. However, it did not remove the worried look on her expression.

"What exactly are you doing when you're gone?" she asked him.

"Nin, you know-"

"Yes, yes," she sighed, " I know you can't tell me. But you can't tell me not to worry either. This isn't the first time you've come back with a serious cut or multiple bruises. Does it...does it have to do with you-know-who and his followers? I read in the paper that the attacks and becoming more frequent and you've been out a lot more. Is that it?"

"Nin, it's late, you should go to bed, alright? Don't worry about me or anything. Just go to bed."

"But-"

"Go on!"

Sirius didn't tell her to go to bed in his usual playful manner but rather a snappish tone, revealing the stress he had been trying to conceal for quite sometime. Éponine didn't bring herself to argue as she abandoned her untouched tea and left to her room without another word. But she didn't go to bed as he demanded but rather sat up in her bed, still wide awake.

Only twenty minutes later did Sirius come knocking on her door wearing an apologetic expression.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that. Regardless of what is going on in my life, you don't deserve anyone talking to you in that way. So, I'm sorry, alright? But I don't want you worrying about me. Just trust that I have good judgement and I know what I'm doing."

Éponine gave him a look that brought him chuckle.

"Alright, so I sometimes have okay judgement and I know what I'm doing about fifty percent of the time, is that better?"

"Change it to thirty percent and we have a deal."

"Fine," he said with a nod before leaning in the doorway. "Well, it looks like neither one of us is going to bed anytime soon. Do you want to go for a ride?"

Eagerly, Éponine nodded her head and jumped up to her feet to follow Sirius out to his motorcycle.

The air was brisk and with the exception of Sirius' motorcycle rumbling away, the night was quiet. Éponine kept one arm around his waist as they sailed through the air, while her other hand reached out to touch the clouds passing by.

How she wished life could remain as simple as long motorcyle rides into the night.