Things were not going according to plan. After stopping Sirius from kissing her by blurting out that she was in a relationship with Regulus again, Éponine wanted nothing more than to hide in the darkest part of the surrounding forest. She couldn't even bring herself to look at him for more than a few seconds at a time because whenever she did, Sirius appeared to be mortified. She kept her hands pressed over her mouth, fearful that she would say something else that would send him right over the edge. All the while, blaming herself for sending mixed signals to him.

"This isn't the way I wanted to tell you," she finally spoke, " I wasn't sure what I was going to say but it wasn't supposed to come out this way. Sirius, I'm so sorry-"

"Well, I suppose there is no easy way to tell someone that you're dating a Death Eater, Éponine!"

Flinching at the lack of her nickname being used, Éponine shook her head, watching as Sirius replaced his hurt with anger.

"No, it's not like that, Sirius. Please, just let me explain everything. I know you're upset and that's fine, but please, just let me tell you everything."

She reached out and grabbed his sleeve gently, bringing Sirius to stare down at her hand for a moment. Part of her feared that he would yank his hand away and tell her off before leaving, however, she was able to let out a small sigh of relief as he remained in place. However, the hardened expression did not falter, telling Éponine that she better have a good explanation.

"First off," she began, "you weren't wrong. Things did change over the summer, I felt that too. I just wasn't sure what I was feeling at the time. I was confused, enough that I confided in Lily. It was shortly after my party that you all threw me. But I didn't know if you saw me in that way, and Lily told me that it was best that I probably go on a few dates while I was in school to see how I felt afterwards. And I was going to do that, but then at the platform, when you kissed me...well that threw everything up in the air."

Releasing his sleeve, Éponine stared down at the ground in a shameful manner.

"When I boarded the train, I learned that Regulus had become Head Boy and it got me thinking as to why Dumbledore had allowed him to take such a position. We didn't talk much besides Regulus telling me that I could come back-"

"And you listened to him?!"

"No! No! No!" she shook her head frantically. "No, I told him off, I swear. I told him he was wrong and that I wasn't willing to budge. And I think that finally got through to him because there was this quidditch practice. Gian wanted to try out for the team, remember, I told you that, didn't I? Well, they didn't want Gian on the team, Travers was adamant about it. They were going to hurt him, sending all kinds of bludgers at him, and then Regulus took a bludger for him. Don't you see, Sirius?"

"I see that you were manipulated, Nin, honestly, do you-"

"I wasn't manipulated. He's changing, Sirius. He wants to change, not just for me, but for his own benefit."

"He told you all this and you believed him? Just like that, Nin? Have you forgotten the Dark Mark that you saw on his arm?"

Wrapping her arms around herself, Éponine clenched her jaw. "No, I didn't forget. He made a mistake-"

"That's a pretty big fucking mistake! This is not just preaching Toujours Pur anymore, Nin. He joined a group of people that are attacking and killing people. He's old enough to know better-"

"Oh, stop with that argument!"

"Why because you know it's true?"

"No, because it isn't true," Éponine huffed. "Age does not guarantee clarity and wisdom when it comes to facing these things. I hate when people say this. 'Oh you were old enough to know better. ' No, it doesn't work like that. Age is a number, while wisdom and decision-making, that comes with experiences in life. It doesn't matter how old you get, Sirius, you can still be manipulated and emotionally abused. Ignorant to the world around you, if you've never experienced it. You and I know this better than anyone else around us."

"It's not an excuse-"

"I'm not trying to make excuses for him, Sirius, I'm trying to make you understand that not everyone is you! Regulus is not you. We have all shared very similar experiences growing up the way we did, but that doesn't make it easier for him to make the same decisions that you did. That doesn't come with age, Sirius. You didn't wake up one morning and decide that because you were twelve years old that you were going to fight the system. At one point, you trusted your parents and everyone in that small circle, just as I did, and just as Regulus did. Maybe it was because you and your mother didn't get along very well, it pushed you to seek comfort out of others, and thus, you befriended James and the others. You found support."

"I was willing to be there for Regulus, I offered my support."

"I know you did," she sighed, "but Regulus still trusted your parents. Why wouldn't he? He got along great with them, they treated him kindly. You only looked like a rebel in his eyes, a difficult child that didn't want to follow the rules. He had no reason to wake up one day and think that everything they said was wrong. As for my parents, well, your parents treated me better than my own.  I hated what my parents told me growing up but being surrounded by women that had gone through the exact scenario like me, I believed it to be the norm. Can't you sympathise with that?"

Sirius gently grabbed her arms and had her look up at him. "Nin, I understand where you're coming from, but we all left that little inner society and entered the real world at some point. When we entered Hogwarts, it was an example that those beliefs were in the minority. Wouldn't that tell you that they were in the wrong?"

"Not when you don't escape that inner circle while you're at school, Sirius. Did you forget that Regulus was sorted into Slytherin while you had the luxury of being sorted into Gryffindor? Regulus was surrounded by the same faces he had grown up with his entire life, you were presented with people from the outside."

"Not everyone sorted into Slytherin is part of the Toujours Pur nonsense-"

"And you remember that we were told not to associate with those outside of Toujours Pur. All the horror stories we were told, giving up a warped view and trust issues whenever we were presented with new faces. For Merlin's sake, I thought the witch hunts were going to start up at any point because my parents made me fear such a thing was bound to happen again."

"So when do people who promote genocide stop being the victims and become the enemy, Nin? How long can they use the crutch of not knowing any better before it's considered extermination? You see, this is why I haven't been telling you anything, Nin. You're still naive to all of this, you still want to see the good in everyone, not everyone is good."

Éponine folded her arms across her chest as she felt a lump develop in her throat." That's your problem, Sirius. Not everything is as black and white as you make it! I don't believe people are born inherently evil. I believe good people do bad things and bad people do good things. I believe the environments we are raised in, paired with outside influences shape us. People who want to hold age as a factor without considering anything else, probably don't even consider that the brain isn't even fully developed until you're in your mid-twenties. And even then, adults make mistakes, what their excuse, Sirius? They're old enough, right? The earth has bestowed upon the ability to do no wrong, right?"

"Nin, listen to yourself, you are making excuses. You can't do that, even if you feel guilty about what's happened. Making excuses will only make this harder on you. You're so set on protecting his reputation-"

"Because I love him!"

The clearing they were standing in fell silent and Éponine realised just how heavy she was breathing after going back and forth, arguing with Sirius. She didn't know how the conversation had taken such a drastic turn. And once again, as she looked up at Sirius all she could see was the hurt on his expression.

"You knew that," she whispered, "I told you that, back when you first started coming around to help me. I told you that I loved him, but I couldn't love him if he was willing to do horrid things. But Regulus wants to change, and maybe it is partially due to me. But if it hadn't been for Gian, I would probably be saying the same things my parents taught me. And maybe without James, you would be doing the same. Regulus needs that lifeline."

"You're still so innocent," Sirius told her, taking a step back, " truly you are. Maybe it's because you find peace inside the walls of this castle or maybe it's because I have kept what really happens out there from you. But you think you can still save them all? You can't. You can't save people that don't want to be saved. They don't get to play the victims, no matter how hard their lives have been. When they threaten and take lives, lines have to be drawn."

Éponine stared at Sirius for a moment, overwhelmed by all the emotion that had hit the two of them repeatedly.

"When did you give up on Regulus?"

Sirius immediately turned around to face her. "What did you say?"

"You said that you can't save people who don't want to be saved. You said back then that if Regulus wasn't willing to listen to anyone that he could only save himself. And here, we are, he's asking for help. He wants to change, but you don't want to hear it. You fought so hard for him before, when did that all change? When did you give up on him?"

Éponine nearly tripped backwards as Sirius rushed at her. She wasn't sure what he was going to do to her, but she didn't expect him to hold the sides of her face as he answered her question.

"I don't know when it was," he said softly, "maybe it was the first time I heard you cry in the night from your night terrors. Or when you tried to reach out to him all those times and he brushed you off. Maybe it was when you told me you saw the Dark Mark on his arm. Or maybe it was when I saw that you had a chance to make it and I knew I needed to give you all my support. I couldn't focus on the 'what if' when I had the 'what now' in front of me."

She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze and Sirius seemed to notice as he quickly released her.

"But if he's changing, if he's wanting to better himself, won't you give him another chance? He's the 'what now' not the 'what if' anymore. Your parents already know, they are already going through the cycle to try to get him to come back. They went as so far to call me a wretched whore, blaming me for being a temptress that led him astray. He hasn't gone back to them, he doesn't have his friends anymore. Besides me and Gian, I really think he could use his big brother's support. He wants to talk to you."

"I'm sorry, Nin, but I don't trust him. That Dark Mark told me everything I needed to know. He got that willingly. He told you that, didn't he? No one forced him to get it, he did that on his own. And for what? Did he say that he did it for you? Tell you that everything he did was for you?"

"Well, y-y-y-es," she stammered, "but I told him that I didn't want him to change just for me-"

"And miraculously he came to his senses. After you've been trying to get him to talk to you for over a year. Doesn't that seem suspicious to you? So, what? He has you fall in love with him again and then he starts manipulating you to go right back to them. Don't be surprised when that starts happening-"

"Don't be surprised when he proves you wrong!"

Sirius shoved his hands into the pocket of his robes and Éponine couldn't ignore how disappointed he looked with her. It was bad enough to hear it in his voice, which left her feeling stupid like she was missing out on something.

"Let's see what happens in December, Nin. Right now, it's easy to play off this little fantasy where everything is alright. But when it's time to leave the castle and that Dark Mark is activated, will he go with you or will he go back home to them?"

As he started walking away from her, Éponine frowned and hurried after him, grabbing his hand and planting her feet firmly on the ground.

"Sirius, please, I didn't mean to hurt you in any way. I just...I don't want you angry with me."

"I'm not angry with you, Nin," Sirius sighed. "Scared for you, yes. You got a good heart and I know you mean well, so I'm not angry with you. But I'm so terrified for you."

Regulus was exhausted after Gian had dragged him all over Hogsmeade. He could barely feel his legs and the only way to get Gian to actually sit down was the promise of Butterbeer and the fact that they were to meet Éponine at the Three Broomsticks, hopefully with Sirius in her company. The entire time they had been walking around the village, Regulus kept an eye out for the two but didn't see them once. He hoped the visit only meant good news from there on out. But as the little bell over the door jingled, signalling someone's arrival, Regulus looked up to see Éponine enter alone.

She looked pale, tired, and as though she had been crying. Regulus stood up, taking a look outside to see if Sirius was coming up behind her.

"How did it go?" Gian asked without hesitation. "Where's Sirius? I got him a birthday present from Zonko's. He's gonna love it."

Éponine wouldn't meet Regulus' gaze as she answered.

"He's not coming."

A/N: lE OoF