Weekend At Batsy's
Joker X Reader
(Featuring Robin!! )

(Y/N) P.O.V.

"Oh My God!!"

"I Can't believe I Killed him!"

" Look! (Y/N) See These !?" , Joker tapped his grille , " That's What HE ! did LAST Time! Oh My God!"
PAUSE.
Ok, let's stop right there, so you are probably wondering,
Why are J and I freaking out in the back of an alley next to his purple sports car? Well, let's just . Rewind a bit . Hmm, how about. An hour? Yeah, an hour.

(Normal) P.O.V

You sat in the living room of the apartment , hideout place you shared with J and his goons watching Netflix. Brushing through your now stained blue hair with a pale hand as you laid sprawled on the couch. Watching (F/S) and laughed at the funny parts sounding like a cat got hit by car. That's kinda how J sounded, guess it caught on, besides you lived for his laugh and his purring. Everything about that man you adored. In all his crazy , psychotic , murderous , and (only to you) loving glory. As you day-dreamed about him, he had to run to pick something up. What it was? He said he'd surprise you. Thus why you are watching Netflix in a pair of baggy white button up shirts and sweat pants. But then a ding from your phone snapped you out of your thoughts .

Grabbing it from the arm of the couch you checked and felt your tummy flutter when it was from J, then instantly get replaced with disappointment when it said:

Sorry Doll, gonna be a little bit.

Yeah, little equals probably not home till tonight. With a grunt you texted back , K , and sat up. Hmm , a little walk might not be too bad? You thought to yourself. Smiling your devious yet playful purple tooth filled grin you dressed up . Borrowing your boyfriend's cane. You loved to fiddle with it, pretend it was a microphone, or a sword . But to your luck he has never caught you toying with it... yet anyways. You flustered at the thought of him finding you playing with his cane and that he 'may have to punish you for it'. Giggling to yourself you snuck out through the window upstairs . Knowing Mister Frosty the Damn Snow Man would flip if he had to drag you back into your room. You grinned when you made it to the bottom of the alley.
Walking down twirling the purple and gold handled cane in your grasp you thought on where you would be going. But then, an annoying,

"Now what do you think you're up to? ", you swear you could hear the shit faced smirk plastered on the boy's mouth.

Turning , your assumption came out as positive as the bird brain himself, well, the third one for that matter , crouched up on a fire escape above you. You sneered as you let out an irritated growl,

"What do you want Bird Shit? I havent even done anything yet, can't a girl just go for a damn walk?" , you smirked.

He shook his head ," More like a clown, surprised you go anywhere. Big shoes. "

"Says the kid in a tight bird costume, oh and by the way. You don't package much in those tight undies, just saying," you shrugged like it was a common fact. He growled and jumped down,

"Well look who's going to Arkham a bit early!" , he bounded towards you. But hastily with a quick lift of the cane , it's like you clicked some button as something shot out and penetrated into Robin's chest. He was down in a second with a sickening grunt.

You rose an eyebrow as you glanced from him , to the cane, to him, and back to the cane. Eyeing it as you set it down as if it was going to bite you and strode over to Robin's lifeless bag of bones . Crouching you rolled him onto his back and shoved to finger into his neck to check for a pulse. You gulped as you swear you couldn't feel one. Standing back up , staring holes into his chest where he'd been hit with, a dart?

"The fuck J?", you glanced at the cane once more. Then, thinking,
"J. J - OH MY GOD!!", you covered your mouth as the reality really hit you. No you didn't feel bad, or guilty, hell no. For a second you were rather proud of your accomplishment. But then the thought of how Joker had had his teeth knocked out for .
The Same. Fucking. Thing. By Batman. Now, you were really gonna match J. King and Queen of Silver Tooth City. You cringed at the thought of having your teeth punched out. Of all things considered, you actually like your teeth and have put time into making sure they were nice and WHITE! And Besides that J wouldn't allow you to lose your beautiful teeth, he loved your smile too much. Well , he better deal when they turn into metal installs.

Freaking out you grabbed your phone and dialed his number as you looked around . Coast clear and dragged Robin's body behind a dumpster to hide. For now.

Joker's Club; Backroom.

He was busy dealing with yet another mob boss. As the conversation started to heat up, irritation filling up like a glass of milk in Joker from the oaf man before him. His plans for a deal to not only share the reign of Gotham with Joker was moronically, no Hilariously stupid that not even he , the Man Who Laughs , the CLOWN Prince Of Crime,! Not even he himself could laugh. He sorta gave a lopsided smirk of pure disgust at the stupidity of the fat bear man.

"So, what do you say Jooker?", he extended a large paw. Oh , he was so screwed as J leaned in with a malicious grin. As he opened his mouth to speak , well, laugh really. There was a ,

"I-I-I-I'm an Albatross ! " , ring tone and he growled as he laid back and took out his phone. Seeing your ID for it read :
My Smile.

Pressing ANSWER he growled into the phone before he said ,
"A little busy pumpkin.. What is it?"

Your muffled screaming caused him to jerk his hand away from his ear as he sneered at it like when you go to open the fridge to find no food and you dread to go to the grocery store and deal with people .

"Can it wait?", he hissed as he glanced from the Sasquatch and back to the phone.

Pleading hysterically, " I REALLY Think You Should Come Over To Crime Alley! Like , Right Now! J I'm Behind a Dumpster-", whispering harshly into the phone ," with a Dead Bird! ."

Joker rolled his eyes ," So, kick it away and go home",

"NOT THAT KIND OF BIRD."

"Careful.", he purred frustratedly. Then instantly his stomach sank,
"Wait."

Back to You...; In The Alley ..

You bob your head towards the phone ,
"Yes J yes, it's HIMMM!!!"

"I'll be right there, don't move.", he said before he hung up. With a somewhat relieved sigh. Crouching down next to the rotten bird man. You gazed at his motionless form. Tilting your head you shifted your gaze past him, just along the blood stained road.

"Well, you know. I always liked Robins, you know. Like the actual feathered flying bird. But you, you could be so annoying." You shook your head and chuckled , then sliding to your bum and stretching your legs you looked up as you set your head back against the trash holder.

"Hey, just some tips, when you do that flying kick, you know, when you Are usually aiming at Me , or J. At anyone really but to get a clear shot, you should aim a bit higher.", from there you just laughed, telling the unresponsive tool bag funny stories of yours or how you and J met. How he was the one. But soon enough, the Purple Lamborghini shimmered . No like seriously. The light reflecting off of the sun hit that fucker and shined it right into your eyes causing you to let out a short cough and wail . Shoving a hand into your face as you bolted up and were now glancing from the section behind the dumpster, to the man exiting the unpresumptuous sports car.

(Y/N) P.O.V
NOW, this is where we Left Off. Shall we? Stretching a hand towards the action before YOU.

(Normal) P.O.V.

"Oh My God!!"

"I Can't believe I Killed him!"

" Look! (Y/N) See These !?" , Joker tapped his grille , " That's What HE ! did LAST Time! Oh My God!"

He spun his back to you as he pulled a strained pale hand over his eyes while you said panicky and flying gestures about in the air ,
"We we we, We've Got To Do Something!? But What!? Batman ! B man ! Guano Man Can't Know! Ohmygurd .. I DON'T WANNA LOSE MY TEETH J!" , You whined as he snapped and waved spastic fingers ,

"SHUT UP!! ", he sighed loud and heavily. "Jezus. .", he then chuckled, then turned stern as he said ," Hey, I can't believe he never told me about his New Robin. I should do something about that.", he tapped his chin and right foot .

You looked blankly and let the Sarcasm drip from your mouth ,"
Well I Think Killing . His New Robin is uh.. I dunno, Doing something about it."

He shot your a narrowed glare before he smirked. "Well, I will say that I'm impressed, you know. Murdering The B man's Newest orphan. " his smirk turned into a wide smile as he let his very much manic, yet happy laugh envelope your ears . You smiled as he stretched out his arms , but. Before you could fall into his chest . A small moan sounded and you turned your head cautiously towards the previously thought. Dead Corpse of the Boy Wonder. Joker slightly leaning to the side to get a view .

Robin had sat up , picking the dart out out of his chest and rubbing his head. Joker's wild eyes glanced from him, to the cane that was beside him. Then realizing what REALLY happened.
"Oh (Y/N) ." He walked and Wrapped his lean skeleton around you from behind as you stared at Robin in shock. He swayed you I his arms pushing forward gently waddling you around as he laughed hysterically. Tears even rimming his dark eyelids.

Well, at least Batman Won't punch your teeth out tonight. This resulting in you smiling and joining the insanity and laughter that you embraced full heartedly.

All while Robin watched and slowly brought a Bat-Talkie up to his lips and whispered ,
"Psst, gonna need a little bit of Back up."

End.
(I don't own anything other than plot and story but I don't own you ;) or the batman characters, song mention or what movie this is based off of haha enjoy XD