A/n: What's up, my dudes? It's been so so long since I've updated. Lots of you were asking for me to update, and one of you was even asking me if I was okay. I knew I had to write something, so I was up late last night with this. I hope you like it.

Word count- 1399 words

Warning- the reader is talking poorly about themselves. Know that none of it is true and you are amazing :) I love and appreciate you guys lots.

Enjoy~

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Your POV

It was early the next morning when I had to get up and get ready to head to the Theater to talk to Buster. I was beyond nervous--I wasn't even sure if this was something that I would be able to make myself do.

I spent many hours the night prior laying in bed unable to sleep, thinking about what I should do. If I went through with this then I would stand on the stage alone, singing for the town to hear. I wouldn't have anyone else with me, I wouldn't have any one to depend on, and all eyes would be on me.

The thought frightened me to the point that my hands began to shake and my heart started to race. Yet, the thought of backing out frightened me too. This could finally be my chance to sing my songs. I could finally get recognized by something other than my face.

I made my way up the familiar steps and into Buster's office. I wasn't surprised that he wasn't there waiting for me, but he showed up after a few minutes of being elsewhere.

"(y/n)!" He said happily. "Isn't this amazing."

I smiled nervously. "Yeah."

"What's wrong? You don't seem as excited as I am."

"It's just... I'm really scared to do this, Buster."

"I thought you were over your stage fright."

"It isn't stage fright, it's being afraid always."

He gave me a reassuring smile. "But there is nothing to worry about. The fans love you! They want to hear you sing!"

"I know. I just am worried to have all of their attention on me and what if I mess up and--"

"Kid, listen..." He paused, giving me a moment to take a deep breath. "A lot of people really look up to you. They like the songs you pick and the positive messages you say. I've heard that teens feel like you're relatable--" I snorted. Yeah, I'm totally relatable "--and I feel like given what you've been through, you don't want people to ever go through what you have."

It was true. I never would want anyone to ever have to go through the bullying and the harassment that I had. The song I chose for the first show was because I related to the lyrics, and when I was told to chose a more 'uplifting' song, as Buster put it, I found myself wanting to believe the lyrics, but I wanted the fans to believe in them too.

I stared at my hands, looking at the furless flesh. I had the opportunity here to do something great--to inspire others--because if someone like me could do this well, then anyone else can do well too.

"Okay," I said. "Okay, I'll do it."

Buster shrieked happily. "Well, follow me! There is so much to discuss."

Hours passed and we had a pretty good idea about how the show was going to go. I had told him about my songs, and he immediately said how he wouldn't except anything less that something I wrote, so the pressure was high. We talked about choreography and what instrument I would be playing. When I had mentioned that I could play the guitar he suggested that I do just that, and that Johnny should accompany me on the piano.

"Besides," He had said. "People think you are cute together."

It took awhile for my face to turn back to its normal color. "Wait... what?"

"Some think that the two of you dancing together was cute, and some thought you were dating. What's the word?" He rubbed his chin, deep in thought. "Boat... submarine—"

"Ship," I said.

He snapped his fingers. "That's it! Ship. They ship you two."

My stomach proceeded to do a series of uncomfortable twists and turns. I felt bad for Johnny, knowing that people thought we could be dating. That had to be awful, knowing that you're dating something like me. But there was another feeling too. Why was me thinking of dating him kind of... exciting.

I shook my head. There's no way that it would ever happen, so there was no point in even thinking it. I forced myself to laugh. "That's funny. If only they knew who I was."

"You really are great, kid. I wish you could see it." I didn't know how to react to that, but he continued on before I couldn't have the opportunity to make an awkward response. "You get some rest. I want to hear a song from you as soon as you can come up with something. I'll let Johnny know about your performance."

"Actually," I said, "I can ask him."

He smiled. "You have a good night."

"You too."

He ran off to take care of something upstairs, and I began to make my way out the front door of the Theater, heading back to my house on my normal route.

As soon as I plopped down on my bed I drew my phone from my back pocket and opened it to Johnny's contact. I grew nervous. We only had a few small conversations over text. Other than my mom, brother, and Buster, I didn't text anyone, so I was desperately out of practice.

Hey

I erased that. This was much more difficult than it needed to be.

Hey Johnny!

Did I sound too eager? Too overbearing?

I flopped backwards onto my bed, holding my phone in the air and above my head. I decided I would just continue on.

Hey Johnny! I talked to Buster and
he said that I should play the guitar
and sing one of my songs. He also
thought that it would be cool if you
would be willing to play the piano.
I totally understand if you don't
want to, no pressure.

I hit send. I was totally not ready to see the little bubbles on the left hand corner of my screen, and knowing that he was already responding startled me so much that I dropped my phone on my face.

"Ouch!" I rubbed my face until I heard my phone buzz. I picked it up nervously to read Johnny's text.

I would be honored to play the piano part of one of your songs.

My face turned bright red. I started typing back with shaky fingers.

Thank you

No problem, (y/n)

I didn't know how to respond to that. I knew he could see that I read his text, so I quickly typed:

You're the best

:)

I couldn't help but smile a bit. I felt my stomach do the same sort of flipping motion as it did earlier. I can't like Johnny, I said to myself. He is him and I'm... me.

My stupid mind didn't give up though, and it thought about what Buster had said earlier. Did the crowd really ship us? Could we ever be a couple?

No, said the other part of my mind, the really horrible, awful voice, he would never ever like someone like you. You're pathetic for thinking that.

I threw my phone at the futon across my room. I was feeling so much that I couldn't decipher what it all was.

But I did know that somewhere in all of the hate I held for myself, there was a small bit where I felt like I deserved to be happy, and realized that Johnny was who I had associated with the word happy.

I groaned and pulled the covers over myself. I always had to mess up, didn't I. I had to mess up and catch feelings for someone who would never want me.

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A/n: I hope you guys liked it. The next chapter will be a longer one I'm thinking. It won't be long before the reader and Johnny will be singing together, I promise ;)

See ya next time, my dudes!

~Becca