Hey My Lovelies!!! So Kristin5687 DEMANDED a happy story so here you go!!! SMUT WARNING!!! Basically, this is an issue that I personally struggle with...a serious lack of filter lol....I tend to speak before I think and say things that I really shouldn't say....it gets worse when I drink or am really distracted...I thought it would be interesting if Sherlock had an issue like this...so yeah...hope you like it!! Enjoy <3

If there was one thing Sherlock had no interest in concerning himself with, that was the opinions of other people. He knew he wasn't attractive, too lanky with too many harsh angles and pale skin. He was also well aware of his serious lack of verbal filter.

The words that tended to spill from his lips usually came in the form of deductions, though sometimes something cruel or inappropriate slipped out, leaving him either mortified or with a nasty black eye.

Not that he cared if he upset people, he would much rather spend his days alone.

Until he met John Watson.

Oh. Who is that?

He's looking at me!

No. No, don't you dare-

"Afghanistan or Iraq?"

God damn it.

John Watson didn't seem to mind his deductions, and though he always scolded Sherlock when something nasty wriggled its way out of his lips, the blogger never did a very good job at hiding his amusement.

After John Watson came into Sherlock's life, the detective started actively building his filter. The last thing he wanted to do was scare off his new 'definitely-not-gay' friend with a spontaneous love confession.

Unfortunately, John never made things easy for Sherlock.

"She was hot."

"Oh, you think so? I hadn't noticed your incessant salivating."

"Oi! I'm just saying; I wouldn't say no if she took me home."

"Of course, because John Watson would shag anything with a pretty face and heels."

"Who pissed in your cornflakes?"

"Probably Samson."

"Wait, who's Samson?"

"The mouse I have living in the cupboard."

"Oh, for fucks sake, Sherlock!"

"Actually, it's for science-"

"Sherlock!"

It had become a habit for Sherlock to distract John with something whenever he felt himself starting to slip, though that didn't always end very well. He was still upset about having to get rid of Samson.

Alcohol made his filter worse, so after John moved in, he made it a point to avoid alcohol.

Until one night, after finishing a particularly rough case, when John dragged him to the pub with Lestrade.

As the night wore on, the trio slid further under the influence of alcohol. Lestrade became a giggling mess, John got flirtatious, and Sherlock got miserable.

It was nearly midnight when John suddenly draped himself over Sherlock's shoulder, sending the detective's mind reeling.

"You smell good."

"Thanks mate. Which of these pretty things here is up for a quickie in the bathroom?" Sherlock rolled his eyes, fighting back the urge to vomit and scanned the bar.

The blonde has been watching him all night.

So have I.

No! No, don't you dare-

I would be better than anyone here.

Don't do it-

"I wouldn't say no."

Shit.

"What?" Sherlock felt his chest tighten and he searched for the right way to correct himself.

"I said 'I wouldn't say no.'"

Nope. That's not it.

"I-I don't- Sherlock- I don't understand."

"Sorry, I mean I wouldn't say no if you asked me to meet you in the bathroom to suck your-" Sherlock slapped a hand over his own mouth, eyes widening and stomach rolling unpleasantly as he watched John's face darken.

Now you've done it.

"Sherlock, you're taking the piss out of me, yeah?"

Yes! Yes that's it! It's all a stupid joke! People do that, right?

"Nope. Say the word and I'll hit my knees so fucking fast-" Sherlock snapped his jaw shut and slammed his head against the bar, his cheeks burning and dread filling his stomach.

He gasped as a pair of lips brushed his ear, sending sparks along his spine.

"If you're serious, meet me in the loo in two minutes."

What?

Was that John?

Of course that was John.

He's going to kick your ass.

God, I hope so.

Sherlock counted the seconds until it was time to meet John, downing another glass of whiskey before pushing to his feet, and walking to the loo on unsteady feet.

He tripped on his own feet as he entered the loo, catching himself on the grubby sink before he fell.

"Jesus Sherlock," He flinched as John's voice appeared by his ear, "how drunk are you?"

"Drunk enough I know I want to do this, not drunk enough you need to worry about taking advantage." Sherlock covered his face with his hands and stumbled back against the wall, shaking his head against the dizziness. "Shit, no, stop that-"

"Stop what? What's happening?"

"Stop talking and fuck me- No! Damn it-" Strong hands gripped his shoulders, making him flinch and blush. "Oh, that's good- damn it-"

"Sherlock! What's happening?"

"I'm sorry John, I-I can't- I can't stop it- I don't want to- damn it!" Sherlock blushed darkly at the amused smirk that passed over John's face.

"You've completely lost your filter, haven't you?"

"That's not the only thing I'd like to lose tonight."

"Wait, you mean-"

"Yep." John pressed a hand against Sherlock's chest, holding him against the wall as he reached for his back pocket. "Come on, we're both clean-"

"Not reaching for a condom." John pulled out his cell phone winking at Sherlock as he tapped on the screen. Sherlock heard the phone ring and furrowed his brow in confusion, trying to figure out what his friend was doing. "Hey Mate. Nah, I'm in the loo. Could you come in here? I need some help hauling Sherlock home. Yeah man, he's right pissed." Sherlock's alcohol numb mind finally connected the dots, and he squirmed, trying to free himself from John's grip.

"I am not."

"Alright, thanks Greg." John hung up the phone and slipped it into his pocket before pressing against Sherlock's body, leaning up and kissing him deeply. "I'll tell you what, let's get you home, and then tomorrow, if you still want me, we can talk then. Sound good?"

"I'd rather you just fuck me-"

"Not when you're drunk. I want you good and sober when I fuck you." Sherlock whimpered as John kissed him once more before Lestrade made his way into the bathroom to help John haul Sherlock home.

"So, you used to have a crush on Lestrade?" Sherlock let out a whine of protest as John threw open the curtains, the harsh sunlight sending daggers of fire through his brain. He rolled away, dragging the covers over his face and growling at his flatmate.

"Where did you come up with that idea?"

"You told me, last night." Sherlock's entire body burned as memories of the night before suddenly came screaming to the forefront of his mind.

Oh God, you fucked up.

What have I done?

"So," Sherlock felt the bed shift as John sat on the edge, and fought back a wave of nausea. "You feel up to talking?"

"Not especially."

"Feel up to finishing what was supposed to happen last night then?" Sherlock sprung up in the bed, his head reeling as he found himself tangled in the sheets. "Oi! Calm down Babe, you're going to make yourself sick." Sherlock disentangled himself from the sheets enough to meet John's eyes.

"Really? Y-you mean- I-I thought-"

"You know, for a genius, you're not the brightest." Sherlock furrowed his brow, his mind spinning as he clamped down on the words trying to spill from his lips. "I'm Bi, Sherlock. Have been since the army."

"But you only date women-"

"Nope, you just only notice the women. Had a date with a guy last week."

"How did I not see that?"

"Because you have this idea of me stuck in your head." Sherlock gasped as John climbed onto his lap, pushing the sheets out of the way as he did. "Tell me Sherlock, what happens to that filter when I do this?" Sherlock gasped and dropped his head back against the headboard as John ground his hips down.

Oh no.

Don't say anything stupid.

"Humans share about fifty percent of DNA with Bananas."

Like that, that was stupid.

John snorted, dropping his head against Sherlock's neck and giggling.

"Why on Earth did you keep that fact, but couldn't remember anything about the solar system?"

"I don't know." John laughed and leaned down, kissing Sherlock deeply. "I have wanted you since day one." Sherlock mumbled against John's lips letting his hands come to rest on his companion's hips.

"You've had me, Sherlock. All you had to do was say." John slid down Sherlock's body, pressing kisses and leaving marks across his chest and stomach.

As John made his way lower, Sherlock's brain went offline and what little filter he had slipped away, causing a stream of words and useless facts to spill from his lips.

Something regarding the chemical makeup of his favorite compound stuttered from him when John freed his erection from his pants.

He babbled about John's jumpers when the other man's mouth engulfed his member, sending shocks of pleasure through his body.

He came with John's name on his lips, spilling down his new lover's throat and tugging at his hair as his back arched and hips stuttered.

When his mind cleared, he reached down and tugged at John's pajamas, freeing his erection and gripping it loosely, coaxing the shorter man over the edge with gentle strokes. John moaned softly and leaned forward, kissing Sherlock deeply. John's head dropped back and he let out a low moan as he spilled over Sherlock's hand and chest.

They were still for a few minutes, both slowly recovering from their orgasms.

"You still smell good." Sherlock mumbled, blushing as he felt John start to chuckled against his neck.

"And you're adorable." Sherlock huffed, wrapping his arms around John's waist and nuzzling into the crook of the blogger's neck

"Puppies are adorable John, I am most decidedly not." John pulled back, kissing Sherlock softly and smiling down at him as he traced his cheekbones with his thumbs.

"You are possibly the most stunning person to ever offer to suck me off in a grubby loo." Sherlock snorted, sending them both into breathless giggles peppered with soft kisses and tender touches. "So, what do you want Sherlock? No filter, eh?"

Filter! Just a bit-

"I would love to have you inside me as often as possible."

Damn it.

"I think that can be arranged."