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Irene Adler

A/N Hey My Lovelies!!! Sorry this update took so long....its been a weird couple of days....Anywho...StiffPansycake requested this one :) Enjoy<3 

Hey, where are you? – JW

Out – SH

I figured that – JW

What are you doing? – JW

Shopping – SH

You? Shopping? – JW

Yes John, I am shopping – SH

Did you need something? – SH

No, just wondered. Do you want some company? – JW

I'm kind of bored – JW

I have company – SH

Who? – JW

Irene – SH

Irene again? I thought you said she was going to Rome on business? – JW

She got back yesterday – SH

I've g2g, she needs some help zipping a dress – SH

"You know, it would be easier if you would just tell him how you feel." Sherlock rolled his eyes, fighting with the zip on Irene's dress.

"I told you Irene, I need to be certain that he feels the same before I tell him anything-"

"You know, for someone that claims to be a sociopath, you really can't handle rejection, can you?"

"Shut up and turn around." Irene laughed as she spun, striking a pose so Sherlock could judge her. "Not that one, it's the wrong color and the fit is weird. Try the silver one I picked out." He unzipped the dress and sent her back into the room, blushing as she giggled.

"It really is handy having a gay friend when you need to find a cocktail dress."

"I'm sure it is. Couldn't your girlfriend help you with this?"

"She is biased, she thinks everything looks good on me." Sherlock sat on the bench outside the door, threading his fingers in his hair and tugging, growling in frustration. He had asked Irene for relationship advice about a month ago, hoping to get some idea about how to convince John to date him.

"We need a new plan Irene. John has barely mentioned my meeting with you, I don't think he is getting jealous. Am I doing something wrong? Are you certain he has feelings for me?"

"Yes, I know when someone is attracted to a person Sherlock, its kind of my job." Irene spun out of the change room, letting Sherlock zip the back before checking herself out in the mirror. "You really do have a good eye."

"Not that one either."

"What's wrong with this one?"

"It makes your butt look flat."

"Well I rather like this one. I can always pad-"

"Put the black and silver one on again. I think that one is the best." Irene rolled her eyes and returned to the dressing room, slipping into the requested dress as Sherlock returned to his spot on the bench. "If I were to tell John, how would I go about it?"

"Just tell him how you feel, use your words."

"What words? What if I say something wrong and just upset him?" Sherlock caught sight of Irene's legs in front of him and glanced up at her. She smiled softly, reaching for his hand and pulling him to his feet. She pulled him down and pressed a kiss to his cheek, leaving a perfect pair of lips on the pale skin. "What if he doesn't want me?" Sherlock whispered, feeling lost and overwhelmed. Irene pulled him in for a hug and Sherlock felt himself start to calm down.

"Sherlock, you need to calm down. John isn't going to reject you, he could never reject you. He is in love with you, and wants nothing more than for you to jump his bones." Sherlock flushed, pulling away from Irene and straightening his suit. He scowled, trying to shake off the images her words pulled out of his mind palace. "Now, I have an idea for how to get John's attention tonight, but you are going to have to fake it. Do you trust me?"

"No."

"Well, I don't really blame you there. Do you want to get taken by your little doctor tonight?"

"What makes you think he will be the one doing the taking?"

"Oh, please Gorgeous, you are so obviously, a bottom." Sherlock flushed again, putting on his best affronted face for a few seconds before caving. She wasn't wrong.

"Fine, I'll trust you."

"Good. When we get to your flat, just play along. Now, please tell me this is the dress."

"No, try on the silver one again." Irene swatted him, both collapsing into a fit of giggles as she returned to the change room to switch back into her casual clothes.



John was getting frustrated. Sherlock had been out with Irene Adler almost every night this month and John hated every second of it. He never saw the detective anymore and when he did happen to run into him, he looked flustered and smelled like her. It wasn't that John was jealous, he just didn't trust her. He hated how she treated Sherlock, how he talked about her, how he spent so much time with her.

Maybe he was a tad jealous.

He had settled in with a cup of tea when he heard footsteps on the stairs. There were two sets, one the familiar steps of Sherlock, the other the obnoxious clicking of heels.

Sherlock had brought Irene home with him.

John could hear them giggling and stumbling over themselves as they made their way up the stairs. He knew those sounds. They were either drunk or snogging. Sherlock burst into the room, grinning and flushed, Irene in tow.

"John! I didn't realize you would be home." The detective froze, looking uncomfortable as he slung awkwardly to the dominatrix beside him. John flushed and stood, pursing his lips against the jealous words that threatened to fall from his mouth.

"No, don't worry. I'll just get my coat and go to the pub. Just text when its safe to come home and don't break anything." He started for the door, but was stopped by Irene's hand gripping his elbow.

"Have you ever gone shopping with a gay man John?" John turned a confused glare at the woman clinging to his arm. What the hell was she talking about?

"What?"

"Irene-" Sherlock's voice was filled with a warning and he suddenly looked very scared.

"Oh, sorry, were you not aware that Sherlock is gay? I could have sworn you knew. Oh well."

"Irene!" Sherlock was blushing furiously, tugging at his curls and looking like he wanted to kill her. John was trying to process the additional information.

"Sorry Sweetie, I don't have time to walk you through this anymore. I just got called in and if I go I will get paid to help people get laid." She patted Sherlock on the shoulder before spinning to John. "By the way, Sherlock is in love with you. He was trying to use me to make you jealous, but that wasn't working fast enough for him so here we are." She spun out of the flat, leaving behind a flustered Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. "Enjoy boys! Try not to hurt him too badly John, he is a virgin after all!"

Sherlock looked like he was going to pass out.

"S-Sherlock?"

"Yes John?"

"W-was that- did she- d-do you?" John could barely think. Sherlock loves him? He was gay?

"Yes John, everything she said was true." Sherlock sounded defeated, sitting heavily in his chair and hiding his face in his hands. "I am going to kill her. I didn't want it to go like this. I didn't want to tell you until I was certain about how you would react, and now you probably hate me-"

"Sherlock!" John closed the space between them with a few short strides, dropping to his knees between Sherlock's legs and placing his hands on either side of the detective's face. Sherlock froze, his eyes widening at the sudden contact. "Why would I hate you? I could never hate you."

"Even after I-"

"Okay, I know you're new to this, but now is not an appropriate time to rehash old arguments."

"Sorry."

"It's alright Love. How long have you felt this way?"

"Since you shot the cabbie.

"Why the hell wouldn't you have said anything?"

"You aren't gay."

"No, but I am Bi." John fought a laugh as Sherlock's jaw dropped.

"Y-you're Bi?"

"Yep."

"B-but you've only ever been with women-"

"That you've seen. I don't date guys, I just hook up with them, and that was mostly in the army and when you were gone."

"You mean-"

"I would have said yes if you asked me out. I would have gladly said yes." Sherlock looked at him with so much emotion and hope on his face John thought he was going to cry.

"Would you still say yes?" The normally firm voice of the detective was soft and wavering, he worried as his bottom lip and blushed. John was certain he had never seen a more stunning sight. He nodded and leaned forward and pressed a kiss to those perfect lips he had been dreaming about for so damned long.

It was awkward, Sherlock's inexperience clearly showing through, but John felt happier than he had in years.

"You really tried to make me jealous by hanging out with Irene?"

"Yes."

"What was your plan tonight if she hadn't spoiled it?"

"Pretend to have loud sex with her until you got mad and stopped it. Then I would provoke a fight and everything would come out."

"That was a stupid plan."

"Shut up and kiss me again." John laughed and obeyed, kissing his brilliant flatmate deeply.

He felt his phone go off.

Told you that you two are a couple – IA

Also, I meant what I said, don't hurt him too badly – IA

I am going to need him to take me shoe shopping – IA

Thanks Irene – JW

❤ Enjoy boys – IA

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