It's 13:00 on the ship. My dog is safely in our room. Vanessa is somewhere on the ship mingling with some rich women trying to get some money earned out of this trip. Luckily, I haven't run into that security guard so far.
I couldn't think of anything interesting to do at the moment. There was some kind of auction going on downstairs, but I really wasn't interested.
So, I sat in our queen bed and watched vines for a whole hour and a half. That whole "da*n Daniel" thing has taken the world by storm. Every time I try to wear my white Vans around the ship, Vanessa stops me. She says she doesn't want to have to put up with tons of people passing us, pointing at my shoes and going "Da*n, Daniel! Back at it again with the white Vans!"
Frankly, I'm a bigger fan of Sketchers. And Vanessa loves it cuz their cheap.
When Vanessa comes back from mingling, she's got a peach mango smoothie in one hand and a piña colada in the other. She also has on a different dress than she walked out on with, and a new pair of shades covering her eyes.
"Well how'd mingling go?" I ask.
"Fantastic!" She replied "I met a super nice single women who inherited a bunch of money from her grandfather after he died. She said that she really liked my personality, so we got smoothies, dresses, and sunglasses! And she paid for all of it! Isn't that great?"
"Yeah, yeah, that's awesome." I said "But why piña colada?"
"What do you mean?" She looked confused.
"Well, I know you hate pineapples and you know I hate coconut. So why would you get a piña colada?"
"Oh! There's a whole story that goes with this one!" She said excitedly "So, yesterday, when I mingled with the other rich ladies, we got some smoothies from the smoothie bar near the pool. One of the ladies ended up HATING the smoothie she got, so she poured it over the side of the boat. I was thinking that maybe we could act like rich people and do the same!"
"But, Vanessa," I started "we're not rich people."
"I know." She said, staring at her feet "But I really wanna act like we are just for the sake of this trip so let's go!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of bed and to the deck of the ship. Then she sipped some of the piña colada.
"Ew! What is this monstrosity? How could a stupid smoothie barista think that pineapple and coconut go well together? Gross!" Vanessa really did sound like a snobby rich person-just like her sister- but I could tell she was totally faking it. If we were back home, all she'd care about is Game of Thrones and Winston.
But she kept on going with it. She poured the smoothie out into the ocean and then shoved the cup in my hand.
"Ew." She said
"What?" I asked "Still have piña colada taste in your mouth?"
"No." She said "Some rich people really need to work on their act. That wasn't as fun as I thought it would be."
"So you're not gonna hang out with them anymore?" I asked
"Are you kidding?" She almost shouted "If it gets me a new dress, of course I'm still hanging out with them! I'll just suggest to get froyo instead of smoothies."
She'll never learn to just sit in bed and watch vines, will she?