A/N: This one is for the lovely ReganGregory, as requested. Your comments make me so happy, thank you for being here. I hope you like this one. :)x

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The snow was falling faster than Simon could predict, but he kept walking through it, hoping that he'd find Jace before the storm got too bad. His vamp speed helped a little, but the tracks on the ground were almost gone now. He growled, when he walked past a tree, scraping his cheek on the branches. "Stupid Jace, always doing stupid shit like this..." Simon mumbled, trying to understand if he'd been next to the big oak tree before. Everything looked exactly the same. He cursed out loud. If Jace had just listened, they'd be doing this together, but no. Jace fucking Herondale had to do everything by himself.

He looked up at the sky. "Will you just stop! it's getting annoying!" he yelled, not really knowing if he was talking to God or Raziel. He shook his head. Going crazy now, talking to the sky, great job, Lewis, he thought to himself, whilst almost slipping down a slope next to him. He heard Jace's voice in his head 'Don't follow me, Simon. I have got this.' It had been hours now, and he knew that even if he'd ask Alec to go and look for Jace, he'd regret not going himself. Jace was probably going to punch him, even if he could find him, but he didn't care. Fixing this - he wanted it. But he was so fucking close to telling the stupid nephilim, that he was done.

"Look, he's been feeling worse than usual. He's just really...in a bad place right now." Alec said, holding out his hand to block Simon, but the vampire shoved it away. He stared at Jace's bedroom door and shook his head. "I've always been there for him, and every fucking time he keeps pushing me away and I'm really tired of it, Alec. I feel like I have to be there, you know, but I just... I can't take it, when he closes off, he's not himself and I always get caught in the crossfire of him trying to find the 'real' Jace." Simon said, leaning onto the wall and staring at the raven-haired boy, who looked just as tired. "I know, Simon. I think he really does care about you. He's just...Jace." he said, rubbing his face in his hands. 

Simon huffed out a sarcastic laugh. "Is that a real reason? Is that even some kind of an excuse anymore? I don't know, Alec. I just think that we keep running after him and nothing is changing. He still thinks like it's him against the world and I'm so fucking tired of it. I am in it too, and he just doesn't see that." Simon replied tiredly. Alec looked at him, sad, but didn't defend Jace anymore. Simon guessed that he was tired, too. 

He patted Simon on the back before he left him alone. The brunette entered the room. Jace was standing next to the fireplace, looking damn beautiful as ever, making this extremely hard for Simon. He stepped further inside, closing the door behind him. "Hey." he said quietly, but got no answer. Simon sighed and sat on the edge of Jace's bed. "Why are you here, Simon?" Jace asked, his voice cold. "I don't know, because I have to? I don't know anymore." he said back and meant it. Jace turned and he didn't look surprised at Simon's harsh words. "Yeah? Well, I am asking you to leave, if that's what you want." he said and Simon was confused. "Look, just talk to me? Why can't you do that? You know how I feel about you and yet I'm the one you keep pushing away. What can I say so it would make it through your thick skull?" Simon said, irritated and Jace turned his back again. His face was sad when the flames from the fireplace danced around on it, but his eyes seemed like they were burning. 

Simon finally slipped on the snow and fell down in a pile of it. "Fucking hell!" he shouted out loud, and it echoed in the empty forest. He wondered if Jace could hear it. He hoped so. Then maybe he'd get that Simon was on his way to slap that stupid face and not beg him to come back. Simon rolled his eyes, got up and tried to clean himself of the snow. He was getting really tired of the quiet around him.

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you

He thought back at the words they had exchanged and realized, that the day he decided to tell Jace how he really felt, was the day he signed himself off. Literally. He was his and forever felt compelled (the irony was not lost on Simon) to help him and to protect him. To make him see, that he was worth it, to live in this world. Suddenly, he felt too small for these big problems around him and he wanted to throw it all into the wind. 

"Are you just going to stare at the fire and say nothing? Fine. I'll talk then. It's nothing new, I talk and you say shit and then I leave and later, you apologize." Simon burst out, standing up and pacing around the room. Jace was still immobile. "Fucking look at me!" he yelled at the blonde and that seemed to get his attention. Jace turned, slowly, and stared at him with empty eyes. "I'm so tired of you thinking that you aren't good enough! And I'm all out of words to convince you otherwise!" Simon shouted, losing his cool. He had lost it a while ago, probably. He never was good at holding the poker face Jace had mastered. 

Fucking nephilim, stupid, reckless nephilim. Simon groaned, when he saw that he was on the slope of a mountain, but the wind brought the smell of angel blood to him. Of course, he would go up there. Simon breathed in and out, three times. Calm down, Lewis. You'll need to gather your strength for when you're going to kick his stupid ass.

And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all

A lot of the times Simon felt like maybe he knew so little of Jace. What was happening inside him, what was bringing him down. What were his fears and what were his flaws (okay, but did he even have any??). But was he ignorant? No. Simon could safely say that he wasn't. He had been there, supportive as hell, listening endlessly, mostly to his silence, but still. He cared, he showed it, but where did that get him? Sloshing through the snow, getting lost probably, looking for someone who didn't want to be found. 

Simon clung to the hope that maybe Jace was still new to this. Maybe, he wasn't sure of his feelings. But, remembering the last time they had been intimate (to which Simon would've probably blushed right now, if he weren't a vampire), he knew that wasn't true. Jace was very sure of how he felt towards Simon. At least, he cared very much for him. They'd never said anything differently, but nothing more. Maybe Jace was hesitant? Was Simon? 

And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl

He was now way higher than he would have liked to be, but he saw the black, gaping hole that was a cave. Of course there was a cave, he thought. Clutching to his jacket and scarf, he went on, almost falling over when he reached the mouth of the cave - it was icy as hell. He stepped in, looking around. There was a small fire in the middle, but other than that, it was empty. "Jace?" Simon called, his voice echoing inside the place. No reply came. He frowned and went towards the fire. He sat down and observed the flames.

"Okay, so what do you want me to say? There's nothing to say, you don't get it!" Jace said, his voice rose a little, but he wasn't shouting, like Simon was. He looked angelic in the faint light of the fire and even now, when Simon was pissed out of his mind, he admired Jace's beautiful facial features. The jawline, that could probably cut butter. His hair that fell around his face like a golden crown. His mismatched eyes, that seemed very empty, but hellfire was burning in them, his demons inside screaming to get out, but Jace never let them. Never lost control. 

Shaking himself out of the daze, he pointed at Jace accusingly. "See? You only think that I don't get it 'cause you won't let me get it! You never let me in enough, Jace, and frankly, I'm not going to wait forever." he said, surprised that the words left his mouth. But they were painfully true. Jace seemed startled and he took some steps back. "I-" he said and for the first time in what felt like ages, Simon saw a crack in the facade. Just as he opened his mouth, Alec stormed into the room, announcing that they needed help retrieving a prisoner from the Gard. Simon had the urge to knock Alec out cold right there.

Simon scoffed. They were supposed to be out here in pairs, but no. Of course the blondie stormed off. For the millionth time, Simon cursed the nephilim, that had completely stolen his heart. Out here, in the freezing cold, he allowed himself to admit it. Yes, he was falling for Jace. And he hated it, so much.

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

Idris was beautiful right now, and Simon loved its nature. But not when it was freezing outside and he was stranded in a cave somewhere. He hoped that Alec and Isabelle were nearby.

He almost had a heart attack (well, if he could've had one), when Jace appeared into the cave. Not like a normal person, he landed by falling from the ceiling of the cave. Quite literally. Simon gaped at the hole he hadn't noticed there. "What the-" he started but stopped, when Jace stilled, only just noticing him. "Simon?" he asked, like he didn't know who he was. Simon rolled his eyes. "What were you doing? Chasing goblins? It's a vampire that we're after, they usually don't crawl into small, creepy places." Simon stated. Jace looked at him incredulously. "Goblins don't exist." he said, coming a bit closer. Simon eyed his biceps that were exposed, since Jace had shrugged off his jacket. "I know. It was sarcasm." he replied. Jace chuckled a bit. "Right, you do that a lot." he said, but then his face fell a little. He sat down opposite to Simon and the fire. 

Simon stared at him for a while and then decided that he won't speak. Let Jace get the same treatment. He knew he was being cruel, but right now, he didn't care. Seeing Jace here, alone and not even looking at him, angered him to no end.

Anywhere, I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you

After a long while, the blonde looked up, seeing Simon's immobile face. "I didn't find him, but I think I'm on the right track. So you can go." Jace said, throwing a branch into the fire. Simon almost exploded, but he chose not to. "That's what you're concerned about? Do you even get why I'm here?" he asked in a deadly voice, making Jace flinch a bit. Simon was glad.

"I- Yes." Jace said, surprising Simon but he didn't show it. "Well?" he asked instead, setting his jaw in a tight line. Jace's anguished sigh struck his heart, but he resisted rushing to his side. He won't give in.

And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye

When Jace didn't speak, Simon stood up. "Since you've got nothing to say, here's what I have to say. I came here, hoping to get something out of you, anything. But this is it for me, Jace. Cause I can't do this anymore. And to think, I would've done anything- I love you and you don't even care. I'm sorry that it took me this long to realize, that I can't save you." Simon said in a quiet voice, because he was afraid it might shake, and he started to exit the cave. The cold wind might've slashed his face, if only he'd feel it. He wished he could.

Just as he took another step and was almost out in the snow, Jace's hand stopped him, grabbing him. He was turned around and Jace's face was dangerously close to him now, and Simon realized how much he had been wanting to kiss him. He set his mouth in a hard line. 

Jace's hands now slid into his and he held him, even though Simon tried to pull away, he didn't put much effort into it. He could never resist Jace and his beautiful puppy eyes. "Simon, you have to know that I am really sorry. And I don't want you to give up, because I don't want to give up. Us, it's something that I want. Truly. And I came here, so I could think and do you know what I thought first, when I got here?" Jace said and Simon felt his hot breath against his face and he felt Jace's hands holding his and he shook his head. Please, don't.

"I thought - I wish Simon was here, with me. I was so alone and I wished you'd come to save me, like you always do. I know you're tired, believe me, so am I. But I realized, that I love you too, Simon, I do." Jace said and Simon tried hard not to blink, so the tears in the corners of his eyes wouldn't be released. 

Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

"I'm so sorry, that I didn't get to you in time." Simon said and he pulled his hands from Jace's, feeling the pain of it. "But I made up my mind, and you can't change it." he said sternly. Jace looked at him in disbelief, fear written on his face. "Simon...No, wait. I love you. I do." he said again, this time Simon felt the words pierce his heart, that would have been racing, if it would have had a beat. He shook his head again. "You can't say that, hoping it would change you or me. You're still you. You'll still push me away." he said, stepping back when Jace stepped closer.

"Simon, please don't leave me. I need you." he pleaded and Simon was so surprised by the reveal that he stopped moving altogether, allowing Jace to quickly step up to him and he backed him up against the cave wall, trapping him. Simon's eyes widened, realizing he couldn't escape and he stared at the one he truly loved. "Jace, don't." he just said, but Jace closed his eyes. "Simon, don't leave me. I can't go on without you. I promise you, that I won't ever be silent with you again." he said, his voice so full of anguish, hurt and pain that Simon wanted to hug him, badly.

And anywhere, I would have followed you
Oh, oh, oh, oh say something, I'm giving up on you

Simon closed his eyes, he couldn't speak. His heart would've been breaking by now, he was sure of it. Stupid Jace. Stupid nephilim with his stupid gorgeous face and his beautiful words. He sighed and leaned down, kissing Jace, like he had wanted to do all this time. Jace gave a surprised noise, but melted into it as soon as he registered what was going on. Simon let his lips glide over Jace's, savoring the feeling. Just kiss him, and then leave, he said to himself. He moved his hands to Jace's jacket, pulling him closer and the shadowhunter pushed himself against him.

When Simon parted from him, Jace was panting and Simon set their foreheads together. "Alright." he said quietly. Oh, he was weak. Jace's face gave a sign of hope as he scanned Simon's eyes. "I love you." he said, kissing Simon's lips briefly again. Simon felt Jace's heart race under his fingers as he laid his palm on it. It was frantic. Like a wild animal being chased. He smiled. "I love you, too." Simon replied, knowing neither of them was lying.

Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something

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A/N: I couldn't bring myself in to giving them a sad ending, my babies don't deserve it...this time :) As always, vote and comment, let me know your thoughts! xx