Early morning dawn breaks across the sky, painting it with soft pink hues..heralding the waking of the land as its newly forming fingers parted to reveal a forlorn scene before it. A group of wearied dwarves gathered together at the entrance to the mountain...debris still littered upon the ground from the battle that had taken place less than a week ago. Standing right outside of this portal was two others...a tall human dressed all in grey, holding a long walking staff in hand as he gazed upon his companion, a hobbit who was dressed up in decent traveling clothes for the journey that lay before him.

Bilbo was peering with fondness at those standing there to see him off today. He saw leaning against a beautiful red haired woman, Kechi, was the soon to be crowned King Thorin...his wounded chest well hidden by the grey fur trimmed dark blue overcoat...the only way anyone would know he was in pain was by the lines of pain around his mouth. The hobbit felt a warmth of friendship blooming in his heart at the sight of him there...after everything they had been through together...the ups and lows of this journey side by side and still they were friends. Bilbo's eyes roamed over the others that were crowded at the entrance...his gaze settling upon the two princes there...one standing while the other sat in a chair fitted with wheels to carry him because of his grievous wounds that still afflicted him. The one standing was Kili who's hand laid upon his brothers shoulder...his other hand was resting around the waist of his dark haired love, Alysi. To his left sat the blond Prince Fili with his lush golden hair framing his sorrowful blue eyes and a soft melancholy smile, in his hastily crafted wheelchair made for him. A few days ago after he had awoken from his wound induced slumber, he found out that his body had forgotten how to walk...so now here he sat..temporarily, if he had any say in it...confined to this chair until something better could be crafted to aid in his mobility. Fili wasn't depressed or upset at any of this, because he believed whole heartedly that he will walk again... with his love Ahmi by his side giving her full support and his own dwarven stubborness , he will walk again...especially since he had a reason to...for his child, whom rested lovingly within Ahmi. To Fili's left stood his love, Ahmi, with hair looking like freshly spun corn silk and amethyst  focused solely upon Fili's face.

 Bilbo's eyes flowed down the line, seeing the others of the company that he had shared bread and wine with..through the joyous times and times of great hardship..all of them baring sad looks upon their faces as they watched him leaving them..all of them having to acknowledge that the company of Oakenshield had finally reached its end. There was Bofur with his goofy hat and smile that seemed to always be present no matter what, bringing laughter during troublesome moments... Bombur who's love for food could challenge any hobbits love...Bifur, sweet flower eating man who  seemed as if one moment he would start blushing  and the next he was itching for a fight . There was Gloin always ready with some loving story about his son...Oin who Bilbo had a sneaking suspicion wasn't as hard as hearing as he let on. There was Dwalin who's display of immense loyalty was beyond compare...Ori who's love of tea equaled that of Bilbos own love..sweet Ori who's shyness seemed to be so endearing to all...Nori who's quick fingers tended stray where they shouldn't , always trying to hide his noble heart from others. And last of them all was Balin..who shared such a great love for history that each time he spoke he would leave Bilbo enthralled for more. Bilbo sighed heavily as he watched this good dwarf making his way over to Bilbo..hands resting against his stomach..long white beard groomed elegantly and trailing down his chest..his smile was filled with sorrow as he approached the hobbit.

"Bilbo lad..you sure you want to go? There is to be a great feast tonight. Songs will be sung , tales will be told of our adventures. "he saw Bilbo nod his head and Balin gave a heaving sigh and a small smile. " Well...I guess this is it then. Thorin Oakenshield and Company draws to an end." suddenly Thorin stepped forward and grasped Bilbo's arm in companionship.

"Please be safe and write to us men merar (my friend). Know dear friend, you are always welcomed here..never fear or doubt that. " slowly Thorin drew Bilbo in to embrace him in a hug. "You , my dear Bilbo, are a true friend and it is the greatest of honors to call you merar khazad (dwarf friend)."  he let go  and they both smiled..both trying to hold back the tears that threatened  to spill any moment. As Thorin stepped away, Bilbo quickly cleared his throat and peered at the others there as he spoke thickly to them.

"If any of you are ever passing Bag-End, uh...tea is at four. There's plenty of it and you are welcome anytime." everyone bowed their heads in thankfulness  as they smiled. " Uh..don't bother knocking...family, true family don't need to and that's what you all are to me..family now. Thank you..all of you." he turned to go, but not before he saw tears in some eyes..quickly walking away as his own began to fall..following the old grey wizard  along the path that led home.

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Bofur softly groaned as he eased into bed..relaxing into its welcoming embrace as he laid down upon it. Suddenly a small body curled up into his side..whimpering as he wrapped his tiny hand around Bofur's arm, seeking comfort from his nightmares. Bofur quickly rolled over onto his side..drawing the little body of his son closer to his chest as he made comforting noises  to soothe the sleeping child.

"Shhh...its okay lad. I got yeh son. Yer safe Kennan. Yer da's got yeh." slowly Kennan calmed down...snuggling deeper into Bofur's arms..his sweet little face relaxing into peace again. As he leaned down to kiss the top of the childs curls upon his head, a snore could be heard coming from him. Bofur looked down in amazement that such a loud sound could come from such a tiny body and he tried to hold back a chuckle so not to disturb his sleeping counterpart. He relaxed once again, waiting for sleep to claim him ...his mind reflecting on the past few days..he remembered  how he sent a raven back to Ered Luin with a message for his wife ~Erebor is won! The mountain is safe to return to once more. Its time to come home.~ he figured it was a good message to send to her..of course he didn't mention Kahrn's death..that would have to be done in person whenever she arrived. Sleep began to enfold him within its grasp..his last thoughts right before it overtook him was the image of Tia...how silky her black hair was each time he touched it..how her jade green eyes sparkled each time that she laughed..her sweet sighs of happiness as they laid together in each others arms...then nothing.

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Bofur walked along the dirt path through the mist enshrouded dark forest...hearing a noise up ahead, he followed it. As he came closer, he could see in a small clearing something laying upon the ground...a dark moving mass ...he cautiously advanced towards it. Suddenly the mass screamed and it was if someone had shone a light down to illuminate the mass...Bofur gasped loudly as he saw his sweet wife, Tia, writhing upon the ground, screaming in agony. He moved towards her, pausing when suddenly he notices the trees beginning to ooze blood down their trunks..moving swiftly as it coated the bark...then seeping onto the ground..inching its way towards the center of the clearing where Tia laid screaming. Bofur's breath caught in his throat as fear engulfed him..he raced towards her..racing to reach his beloved before she was swallowed up by the bloody flow. He was inches from reaching her when it enveloped her body within...her last scream was his name on her lips as it swiftly swept over her mouth..silencing her screams forever. Bofur fell to his knees sobbing out Tia's name to the dark sky..feeling as if his heart was shattering like glass...tears pouring down his face as he clawed  at his face in misery. Suddenly he felt something jerking his body , whimpering into his ear...Bofur's eyes flew open on a gasp, sobbing as he felt his face was wet from the tears he was crying.

"Dada." his eyes sought his son who was tugging on his shirt ...whimpering in fear at the sight of his dad crying. Bofur realized in that moment he had a nightmare and he  must have woken up Kennan whenever he cried out ..he quickly collected himself as he pulled his son into his arms to comfort him.

"Shhh...its okay son. Yer da is fine. I just had ma a nightmare." holding the child closer , Bofur felt a deep fear inside himself at his dream...he could feel down into his core that something wasn't right back home. He took a deep breath as he knew he had to get home real quick..but he also knew this journey was no place for a child. Torn between staying in Erebor, keeping Kennan safe in the mountain..knowing the child couldn't handle being separated from Bofur or making the journey back to Ered Luin with the child in tow. Either way he knew leaving Kennan's side wasn't an option for he was to fragile for that  but he also knew he had to get home fast. Bofur sat there for a few minutes debating..finally he made a decision as he gathered the child up in his arms, moving quietly around the room gathering the things they would need into two packs. Eventually he had to set the boy down to finish packing..seeing trepidation in those green eyes as he watched his father packing up...Bofur quickly knelt in front of his son and looked deeply in his eyes.

"Kennan. Can yeh be me brave boy and help yer da get our stuff into these packs. Yeh and I are goin on a trip...we're goin teh get yer new momma , me wife. But teh do this we need teh be quiet so we don't wake the others...alright?"with a very serious look upon his young face the child nodded and waited for his father to give him things he needed as he bunched them up into his pack. it didn't take them long to get several changes of clothes and some camping necessities they would need, putting it all into their packs before they were ready to go...silently tip toeing out of the room and leaving Bombur and Bifur behind a sleep in their own beds.

~~~~~~~~~

They were almost out of the mountain when suddenly two dark forms stepped out of the shadows into their path before them. Bofur swiftly raised his mattock before him as he shifted Kennan behind him..preparing to defend his son from attack...stopping when he realized who it was...Laicee and Mischa.

"Well it looks like you two are planning a little jaunt there. she saw Bofur relax as he nodded and she got a gleam in her icy blue eyes as she smiled at him. " You do realize that travel is about to come to a halt because of the snow heading down? Shortly here no one will be able to go anywhere." she saw him bow his head in worry but there was a glint in his eyes that spoke of his determination of still leaving...so she made a choice. "Want some company?" he was surprised at her offer. "Mischa and I can provide escorting service..especially since you have a child with you. We cant let any harm come to either of you...it would be a sad day indeed if that happens, besides I cant lose a friend like you..its not everyday we meet someone like you." Bofur was thankful for the company she was offering. It was a relief of his worries upon their safety , so with a smile he agreed whole heartedly. Quickly he directed them to some horses that were still around and began to load up the few supplies they had.

As dawn broke over the horizon the four of them could be seen upon the horizon, heading westward in the direction of Ered Luin...only a note left behind.

********************************

Dear Mom, 

We did it. Erebor has been won and we all are alive. Its time to come home now.

love, 

Kili & Fili

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Mom,

Bad news...Uncle says the snows are to deep for safe travel, so we are going to have to wait to see each other until spring arrives. We love you and greatly miss you.

Love,

Fili & Kili

P.S. Bofur left to head home before the warning...so look for him to be arriving soon.

********************************************************************************

Dis sighed deeply as she read the letters from both of her sons..feeling both elated and down hearted  at the same time. She was ecstatic that her family made it through alive and her family home had been reclaimed once more..but on the other hand she was frustrated that the snows were going to delay her return to her loved ones. She slowly placed the letter down onto the table and stared out at the window at the snow falling to the ground outside while she sipped her hot tea. It had been a few weeks since the passing of Durins Day and Tia was still trapped in bed for the most part. The only thing making it remotely bearable to her was the thought of ~ its for the children~ that were growing inside...she knew she just needed to endure a bit longer to ensure that they would be healthy and strong enough to be born. So far everything looked to be going good...Tia was resting comfortably  as her in-laws, Beryl and Rawfur, helped around taking care of her son, Griegur and the home....Dwalins wife , Amari, was doing great and able to get out of bed after the birth of her son , Tahlin, with of course the help of both of her other children Kita and Grawlin doing what they could around the house. Everything and everyone was doing fine...so why did she feel sad?  Shaking her head, Dis got up to pack her sons and brothers rooms..getting them ready to ship once the roads were clear for travel again.

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Fili took a frustrated breath as he rolled himself down the corridors towards his and Ahmi's room...growling under his breath at how bloody abysmal his day had went..again. Since the moment he discovered he was unable to walk to walk and was extremely light sensitive he has had to face things no dwarf  should have ever been forced to deal with from those around him this past month. From the moment he woke every morning he dealt with pain in his back and head that stays with him until takes pain medicine and goes to bed. He had to endure  the looks he received from everyone ..looks of pity were on many faces around as they had to kneel down to look him in the eye each time they wanted to talk. He realized that he was now invisible to many...people over looked him constantly whenever he was around...ignoring him when he spoke...bumping into him as if he wasn't there...it was like Fili didn't exist anymore. 

 Fili even felt trapped in his own home now...everywhere he looked his eyes met stairs that he could not navigate on his own. The only way he was able to get  to any of the lower levels was to depend on others to help him..if they had the time. Just to go to another level, fili had to ask for someone to pick him up and carry him down the stairs, while another person toted his rolling chair down with them..then once they were down he would be resettled into it..only to have it all repeated when he was ready to go back. All of the looks, sighs, and having to ask others for what he used to take for granted was trying on Fili...breaking his emotional and mental barriers down. He knew Kili and Ahmi didn't mind doing this all for him..they both kept trying to reassure him, but even their words no longer gave him strength to endure this hell. Take today..he sat in one of the meetings with the council of lords and his uncle ,Thorin,  without any thought to his words told Fili to run down to one of the administrative offices to get some reports for them to go over...when Fili began to roll away, he was stopped by Thorins voice.

"Fili...stay. Ill send your brother Kili." Thorin saw Fili was about to object and he held up his hand. "He needs to learn how to also do these things now." Fili sighed and nodded his head as he pulled back up to the table...his eyes catching the look of pity in Thorin's eyes before he could cover it once more. Fili saw it and that brief look within his uncles eyes shattered Filis heart. In that split moment it felt as if he had utterly failed his uncle and that he was unworthy of being the Erebor Heir.  In that moment Fili began to sink into his self...falling into a downward spiral that seemed as if there was no hope of climbing out of.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I suggest you listen to this song as you read from this point on...it adds to the story.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

https://youtu.be/uOre5B_KbJU

It was just before dawn when Fili awoke..his eyes stared up at the stone ceiling above the bed...a depressing sigh leaving his lips as he realized he had woken.

~Great. Another morning...again.~SIGH~ Wish I didn't. It would be better for everyone if one day I just didn't.~ slowly Fili turned his head and saw Ahmi lying next to him, deep asleep...unaware of the depression taking a hold of her love. Ever so gently he eased up off the bed and transferred to his chair that sat next to their bed...being very careful to not disturb her sleep. Silently he rolled himself over to the doors that led out onto the balcony..needing a few moments alone to think. Just before he went out he looked over to his beautiful soon to be consort..seeing how the moonlight shined through the window reflecting upon her silvery blond hair, making it seem to glow like liquid mithril fanning across her pillow. How her lashes upon her eyes were folded down onto her cheeks..her rosy lips that were soft and full were parted open as she softly breathed in slumber...to Fili she looked like an angel laying there.

He quickly eased out the door..shutting as fast as he could so the chill would not wake her...he made his way over to the balcony ledge..looking out over the snowy expanse of land at the foot of the mountain...loosing himself in his thoughts as he spoke to his dead father above.

~ I don't know if I can do this father. This pain I am in all the time...this sense of failing everyone around me. They all smile, but I can see in their eyes the hopelessness and pity .~ Fili bowed his head as tears filled his blue eyes. ~ Maybe ...maybe it would be for the best if Kili was the Heir .. then uncle would not be stuck with a cripple who cant do anything as his Heir.~ without really thinking about what he was doing...Fili placed both hands onto the ledge and pushed himself up...his upper body being braced up on the ledge as he balanced half-way over. ~ If I wasn't here, then uncle Thorin would be free to make Kili his Heir and not keep me out of some kind of obligation. Kili would be better than I and Ahmi...Ahmi...~ he faltered for a moment, thinking of the lovely woman who laid less than 20 feet from where he was about to tip himself over the ledge. He knew how much she sacrificed to save him after the battle...the giving of her healing gift....her gift of forsight...all of it just so that he could live. It was all for naught  for here he was now yearning to go over so he could plummet to the ground and end all of this suffering. His muscles bunched  under him..readying to give one final push to send himself over when movement along the edge of the darkened forest made him pause.

Lowering himself back down, he watched as an old mountain lion ambled from the forest below the mountain...Fili's eyes gazed down at the beast. It was an golden colored lion with battle scars riddling its lean, tawny  body...an ear was torn and scraggly ...across where one eye should be was a deep gash...and he only had three legs. As Fili looked down at this battle worn beast he felt a deep connection between them. Here was this majestic creature...a warrior in his prime..beaten down by life, like him...wounded and alone. Suddenly their eyes met and Fili felt words forming in his heart as if the lion was speaking to him..a deep resonating rumble voice within as a shaft of morning sunlight lit the lion up.

(A/N: think of earl jones voice speaking)

~Look at me Dwarf Prince. Here I stand upon this snow covered land before you...standing proud and strong. Look at me ....I have fought countless battles and have emerged the stronger for them. i am scarred from those battles...each one tell of the battles that I have fought and won. You too bare scars..be proud of them...embrace all that you have endured and come out the stronger. Look....~ suddenly the lion peered at something behind him and Fili's eyes followed...there coming out of the forest was a small group of lions..ranging from adults to cubs. ~... see my legacy Erebor Prince. Each one is a piece that tells of my life..the parts that will carry on to tell my story when I pass from this world.~ Fili and the old lions eyes met once again across the expanse..their gazes locked...blue vs. gold. ~What legacy do you want to leave behind? The one where your child will believe you weak and a coward?  Or do you want to be seen as a warrior, who stood proud and strong against all challenges that life has brought? Will you...Erebor Dwarf Prince..live and let your mighty roar be heard to any who dare challenge you or will you slink off into the night  as a cowardly  rogue will do?~ Filis eyes remained locked with the beast below as he pulled himself up the ledge once again.....the lions eyes blazing at him in challenge. ~TELL ME DWARF! What fate do you choose! Will you Live or Die!~ the imposing beast lifted his head and let loose a mighty roar that echoed up the mountain side...challenging Fili up there upon that balcony. Fili felt fight returning to his soul as he roared out his own refusal to die...hearing the others of the pride voicing their own support of him below.

~I WILL LIVE!~ his answering roar spoke out to the regal creature...his muscles stood out as he let all his doubts..all his fears...everything wash out of him on the sound tearing through his throat...giving him the cathartic release he needed. As the last of the desolate emotions poured out of him upon that cleansing outcry from his soul he saw out of the corner of his eye, Ahmi. She was standing in the doorway , staring at him with tears running from her eyes...fear within those amethyst orbs at the sight of him. He swiftly settled himself back into his chair and held out a hand to her...beckoning her closer. She hesitated for a moment, then she ran to his side...falling into his arms that wrapped eagerly around her...a broken cry leaving her lips.

"Fe..." he held her close as he made soothing sounds in her ears.

"Shhh...amralime (love). I didn't mean to scare you. I was just letting myself release these pent up feeling I've been having of late. Didn't mean to wake you aingeal (angel)." she sniffed hard into his chest..her voice was shaky. 

"You were going to kill yourself... I saw you." his eyes widened in surprise. He didn't realize she had seen him...did not notice her standing there the whole time. He pulled her tighter to him...a wave of shame washing over him as he kissed her head.

"I...I am sorry my love. It was only for a moment I became lost. I promise you , I will not voluntarily take myself from your side... this I vow. " he lifted her face to peer earnestly into her eyes...letting his sincerity show. "I promise sanghivesha (perfect treasure)...believe me.. I need that." she wiped her eyes and nodded.

They both stayed on that balcony wrapped in a blanket ...watching as the sun rose in the sky..painting the morning sky and the snow covered ground with its pinks and golds. Fili rested his hand across Ahmis stomach..he swore he could feel the beating of his child's heart inside and a feeling of renewal poured into him. He knew he had to be stronger and not give into the demons that would try to haunt  him if he let them... he had to do it for her...for them. As they watched the sky, Fili noticed the old lion bow his head at him, before melting back into the forest... suddenly an image of a new design of metal came to his mind and he smiled as he planned.